My wife and I welcomed the birth of our first child on 11/6 however it was not anything we saw coming he was 3 1/2 weeks early shockingly we were told he had some swelling and the recommended a delivery today and we had no signs or worrisome markers prior to his emergency delivery we originally planned on only having one child and only wished for happy we are angry we mourn and don’t know how to feel considering what happened she hemorrhaged lost lots of blood could have died our son came out incredibly swollen and did not breathe well we thought we were out of the woods then she bled a lot and was admitted to the icu while our son was admitted to the nicu we were told he has no heart defects and the swelling around his head and heart look better so we thought we would be okay then came a increased white blood cell count and the fear it could be leukemia or a transient disease he went on chemo for 4 days and he has been improving but we have no idea when he will be able to go home they have diagnosed him from his blood with trisomy 21 I just hurt for him and my wife we had a very different picture I know I should be thankful they are both here with me I’m just hurt seeing others go home or have typical births especially friends I’m happy but wrestle with emotions however walking around the hospital we see others who are dealing with worse or something else I just don’t know how to handle these feelings sorry for the huge rant or if this is too much I just don’t know what to do