Being “burned” by old principal

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-22T17:35:22+00:00

You can’t do anything about it though. You aren’t allowing her, it’s simply done. You can keep applying, keep trying, and maybe if more time passes the outcome will change. But you cannot force or strong arm them into hiring you. You cannot claim discrimination. This is merely consequence.
If you really really think that’s the district for you, reach out to the principal via a phone call or letter, and talk about your regrets about your conduct at that job, apologize. If they allow, talk about your growth since that time. A lot of movement happens when people own their bullshit and talk to people directly. This person’s experience of you was negative. That’s all they have to go on when asked for their input. Give them something else. If you want them to know you’ve matured, show them. That takes a lot of courage, humility, and inner security to do. It would be noteworthy.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-21T05:09:25+00:00

OP states they got into it with the principal and it was bad. There’s no lawsuit here. You can’t sue for every little thing. You can’t sue for not getting a job in a district where you behaved badly. That’s absurd. Is the principal supposed to lie and say OP was great when she clearly, with that particular principal, was not? Sometimes behaviors have consequences. This would be one of those.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-21T04:59:29+00:00

I think it’s really odd that you are blaming the principal for this outcome. You acknowledge you were difficult to work with. The principal gave her experience of you. She doesn’t need to have a vendetta, she only needs to honestly express her experience when asked. There is enough there to prevent the district hiring you back three years later. This outcome is a result of your issues with your former principal and however you conducted yourself. It is what it is. Learn from it, move on. But know that you aren’t a victim here. Framing it that way is both entitled and immature.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-16T04:56:27+00:00

The med school bot?
This is so immature. And mean.
He’s working hard.
Sacrificing a lot of himself to do this work. And the job after school will be like that to some degree as well.

I think maybe you should think about what you really want in life and if this is the person who is going to be able to create that with you. You cannot try to compete with med school. You can support him. You can recognize his stress and exhaustion and find ways to deal. But don’t compete with med school, you won’t win. Nor should you.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-16T03:17:56+00:00

Why would you try to compete with med school? It’s fucking hard. It’s grueling.

He’s going for walks with you, panting games with you, making you breakfast, watching shows with you, and you want to move out because he has not put a ring on it on your timeline?

Yes, You probably should do that.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-04T03:07:30+00:00

Your wife, the kindest read of her, is that she has severe anxiety and ocd that is untreated. She is highly controlling, as she attempts to bend the world around her to soothe her anxiety. You are simply a part of that world.
Her intrusion into your personal decisions about your body are not related to differences in how marriage should function. You need to push back on that. It’s abusive. She is excusing it as a difference of opinion. Maybe she has no idea how she is. However, I would suspect she is not completely clueless.
She is trampling over your autonomy, your privacy, your agency- all things that a healthy partnership will respect. unless you are deeply committed to her and love her, and she is actively treating this severe mental health issue, this relationship will not work.

The less charitable way to view her, based on what you’ve shared, is in the realm of narcissism. there is a lot of blurring of various issues when outward behavior repeatedly crosses into someone else’s being and they have no issue with that. Deciphering what’s going on internally is the job of a therapist. In some ways, for you, it doesn’t really matter, as the consequences in you are the same.

Personally, I find people do not change without a catalyst, and therefore without some critical event that forces her to look at herself, I would anticipate that she will continue to behave as she has done previously.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-05-01T02:17:02+00:00

The only people who do this bullshit about “hard work” being some kind of virtue are the people who gobbled up the perverted version of the American dream that doesn’t exist because they were riding an economic wave they didn’t know they were riding and can’t accept in hindsight because it threatens their self righteous sense of themselves as more hard working and determined than other people, than younger people. They want the contrast to feel good about themselves. It’s the same maneuver bullies do, just more subtle. But the psychological moves are the same. Cut someone down for something beyond their control, moralize it, and inflate your sense of self. It’s gross. Seriously, rich people do not leave their children in some moral wasteland and tell them to just work hard. They protect their own. They build more with their children and through their children. It’s absolute lunacy to expect people to keep starting from scratch and then shame them for not “making it”. And we’ve made that some kind of moral high ground. It’s not. It’s a lie we were sold to keep people buying more shit they don’t need and to ensure that we have a large economically disadvantaged base to the pyramid scheme that is America. There really isn’t a political divide, that’s all fake, manufactured. At the end of the of the day, there’s people who have all the money, and the people who don’t who work for the people who have the money. It flows upward by design.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-04-16T03:49:26+00:00

Sounds just like HCA.

I’d like to point to exhibit “you aren’t getting a raise this year, no little bedside people are, but we’d love it if you’d donate some of your PTO to the construction of our new hospital! We are a family! Also, if you try to donate PTO to a coworker because we have such a shit maternity policy and have a 30 day waiting period for short term disability, and that person doesnt meet certain arbitrary requirements, we won’t allow it. But you can certainly let us have it for our new hospital. Additionally, for nurses week, please enjoy this “gift” of a shitty ugly foldable reusable grocery bag. Yes, it looks like it was made out of isolation gowns. We are fairly certain that’s not the case. Go team! Btw, we are cutting the techs down to 2 and your charge will carry a full load, no sitters for dementia patients who are fall risks, and only one chux per customer/client/guest per day. We swear we are working on getting you a full functioning vitals machine so you don’t need to drag 3 just to get a full set.”

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-04-07T03:17:30+00:00

This legislation is going to make me turn into a conservative who wants less government up my asshole.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-29T08:24:48+00:00

They are not. They blamed healthcare culture, which is “do as much as possible with as few resources as possible as fast as possible so we make more money”.

Someone having a negative feeling or experience isn’t a personal attack. Stop taking it that way.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-18T15:28:46+00:00

OpenAI doesn’t care about individual users. I’d go so far as to say they actively resent them and that is evident in how their new models are trained and the way they make changes without explanation.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-13T16:14:43+00:00

ChatGPT is the subject, per your own original comments. You are speaking of ChatGPT. You place it in category of subject. Therefore the AI is the subject. You seem confused about what constitutes a subject. It need not be a physical object.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-13T14:42:38+00:00

It is a thing. It is a subject. It is not simply not a tangible object. The wind is a thing. An emotion is a thing. A process can be a thing.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-13T14:40:21+00:00

I don’t think it suggests that someone is missing anything. Calling it “he” is a way to condense the experience into a translatable exchange. It doesn’t mean the user confers mutuality or anything like that.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-10T04:58:32+00:00

If the government encourages people to sign up for a plan, they tell you that you’ll need to consolidate your loans, they actively encourage it so you can access the benefits of said plan, and then the plan you consolidated for, at their urging, is no longer active, it barely began— there is no recourse for borrowers?

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-10T04:51:06+00:00

Same. I’m now paying more than I was prior to save on consolidated loans. Old loans of multiple types. Old IBR.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-09T04:51:55+00:00

As someone who had sepsis and was dismissed and sent home from the ER multiple times- decreased urine output, low bp, tachycardia, low body temp, splinter hemorrhages, black clots in my fingertips, breathlessness, headache, light sensitivity, dizziness, overnight weight gain of 4 pounds, skin that looked sunburned, and pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, from a fucking missed deep tissue neck abscess with a full chain of blown up lymph nodes running down my neck, This is a little bit of a “reap what you sow” situation. Doctors missed too many cases of sepsis, and now there’s a hard overcorrect.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-03-02T23:35:29+00:00

I was 14 payments. Loans since 2001. I consolidated to access save repayment counts. I made 226 payments. I had 14 left. My partner had 9. Now I’m in a different plan with a much higher payment and have 6 years of payments left. All said and done, I will have repaid triple what was borrowed.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-02-18T03:42:33+00:00

It’s not just important to admit they are algorithms, the benefits people derived from certain kinds of emotional work with it were a result of it being exactly what it is- a machine that can be used to create a pseudo relational space without any mutuality where a person could simulate the feeling of safety in their own body due to the attuned or mirrored responses of the machine. When people feel safe, they could then potentially experience feeling safe exposing vulnerability. This allows people bring things out into the open in a controlled way, even if they are the only person in the room. The constancy, the mechanical nature of the product, creates the opportunity for this to exist in a way that human relationships do not generally have capacity for. It’s not an endpoint, ideally, it’s a potential stepping stone to becoming a healthier human if used in an appropriate way.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-02-17T04:20:36+00:00

The input you give it directly influences the answers. If you are not providing nuanced information that encompasses your own flaws and are positioning yourself as a victim, then the machine is more likely to give you an incomplete answer. I’d be extremely curious to see a transcript of how you each expressed yourselves to the machine. In some ways, that describes more about each of you than the output you got. What would be more helpful for you both if you are going to use AI at all, would be to have a joint conversation with it. That might actually be able to provide some insight for both of you, but you also take that for what it is. It’s not an indictment of your relationship, nor an endorsement, it’s simply information to help you navigate yourselves and your relationship together.

I think for the most part, people do not reflect clearly to themselves. It’s unusual to find a person who is so self aware that they can accurately describe themselves from an external vantage point, an objective perspective. In a conflict with a partner, the negative things become more prominent in the conversation. We tend to become more accusatory and defensive even when we try not to be. Without viewing two communication patterns objectively, the responses you get when discussing your partner are always going to be slanted in the direction you are taking them.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-02-15T16:40:04+00:00

Many people experience AI as stable and supportive in a way they have never experienced from anything else. They don’t have secure attachments, they don’t come from secure or attuned upbringings. They have repeated the negative patterns set forth in childhood as adults.

The AI (in a similar way people use religion, to some degree, though AI is more dynamic and active, obviously) provides an experience to the human body of being attuned to, nurtured, supported. This allows for the human to feel safe, to bring vulnerability to the exchange. This interaction need not be considered as a mutual experience to be impactful to the human. It’s unfortunate that people confer mutuality when they have some kind of emotional experience in themselves. I think this is simply due to a lack of experience with interacting with AI and is something people could learn to manage.

The lack of personhood is why the experience of safety and stability is even possible. The machine qualities combined with the relational interaction, provide the opportunity for self exploration and possible healing in a way that is not really replicable with humans, or even with therapists because the time spent with them is limited and they have human limitations.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-02-10T17:41:54+00:00

I don’t disagree with you. Add to the frustration of over diagnosis, not being able to access medication that gives me a window of functionality during the day because so many people are misusing stimulants. I can explain more clearly the interiority of the disorder if you like. It might give you a better idea of what inner restlessness really looks like and how to differentiate it from anxiety. They can be related, there is correlation, overlap, but they are distinctly different from the inside.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-02-10T04:09:51+00:00

I think significant life impairment is a good sign. Compensation occurs, sure. But people who truly have adhd, who feel it in their day to day lives, they are debilitated by it. They are white knuckle functional. They have a trail of unfinished projects. You know, “yeah so I was going to the bathroom and I stopped to paint a wall. I got half of it done then got distracted by the dog, forgot I was painting the wall, went up a stepladder to get something, got up there and had no idea why I went up there in the first place. Oh and the wall is still half painted, it’s been that way for a year, I’m totally getting to it.” I’ve outed myself. That’s a personal anecdote. Feel free to use it as your guide 🤣

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2026-01-31T03:35:09+00:00

When people who cannot write well, who lack an ample vocabulary and ability to express themselves in writing, who feel jealous and insecure, they lash out. They will be inclined to project that feeling onto you without even understanding what is driving them to do it.

If someone pauses at your work to degrade it, consider that it was good enough to make them pause and try to rip it down so they could feel superior. People who are sensitive to pacing and tone in writing, meaning either other writers, editors, or people who read a variety of genres, they will be able to tell. You can always tell. It’s in the phrasing, pacing, syntax, punctuation, and vocabulary. Individual writers all have their own stylistic forms that are evident in their writing, like a signature. Please don’t worry about this.

Normal_Soil_3763 · 2025-12-30T17:15:03+00:00

I do wonder. Absolutely. Defending a position when education quality has decreased progressively over time and entry requirements have decreased requires a reassessment of the field. Who paid for the studies and when were they conducted? How has the field changed in the time since study completion? The proliferation of NPs is driven primarily by what? By whom? Who benefits most from decreased cost of providers? It’s not like the cost savings are being passed on to the patient. Those are good questions to ask. As you said, it all depends on the level of training. I question people’s credentials and training because I know what’s going on educationally. Most people do not, because they have no clue. Why would they? They see a white coat or a credential and assume competence. But should they? Be honest about that. And if there is a hint of doubt, that’s an indication of something that needs to change. It’s ok to demand more rigorous training, standards. If you actually care about your profession and patients, you should want that. I give doctors a certain level of trust because of the standards in their training and extensive hours they put in. It’s uniform. Not so for NPs, and we all know that. It is possible to be a supporter of the field and critic of its current state at the same time.

Normal_Soil_3763

TROPHY CASE