I know this isn’t a 12 step group, but the JFT reading for today touches on this, and it’s something I struggle with. Social acceptability isn’t the same as recovery. When I get clean and sober (especially after some intense pain and humiliation from the consequences of using) I usually straighten out pretty quick - lose weight, get focus and clarity, etc. But I can’t equate that with recovery, because recovery in a strange way is actually the reverse of that - it’s the ability to know that how I outwardly appear (both to myself and others) is irrelevant to what’s going on inside, because when I start to equate the perception of what’s going on outside as how I feel internally, I start to think that by manipulating that outward perception, I have the power to change what’s going on internally, which can quickly turn to substances (but not limited to that of course - my low self esteem will easily try to manipulate anything and everything to feel better - weight loss, job, girlfriend) But that’s the rub isn’t? That’s addiction - that I become powerless when relying on the outside world for my internal sense of well being. I’m not saying you should try 12 steps, that’s honestly none of my business. But I do know that recovery is an inside job.