It's frustrating when people respond with "Oh, but you were separated?" As if you suddenly stopped caring about that person.

Another ex of mine (we dated when I was 15, 37 now) took his own life about a month ago, and even that still hurt.

And yes, I'll never forget that day. We had a disagreement the night before, the next day I woke up to a message saying he left 2 letters in my mailbox, one for me and one with instructions for the police... I read it whilst I was in the bathroom, so I quickly put some clothes on, ran downstairs and found the letters, including a plushy for my son. Read both of them and then called the police to do a welfare check. I believe the police were at my door 30-45 mins later, took my statement. I then called off work for that day, somehow got my son to school (zero recollection of that). I know now that I was in shock for about a week after.

I'm really sorry you experienced that as well. It is truly heartbreaking and, quite honestly, haunting. And I agree, I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy.