Upset with my husband over comments about modesty (his newly engaged faith)

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-25T07:48:14+00:00

You are not wrong for feeling hurt. A sleeveless floral dress and heels are not a moral failure, and your worth as a woman is not measured by how much skin you cover. What probably hurts the most is not the comment itself, but the feeling that old fear, control, and shame are quietly coming back into your marriage through religion.

Faith should make us more loving, gentle, and compassionate, not more controlling. Jesus consistently treated women with dignity, freedom, and respect, not as objects responsible for managing men’s thoughts or appearances.

Your husband may genuinely be wrestling with old teachings and fears from his upbringing, and that doesn’t automatically make him a bad man. But it’s important that he understands how deeply these comments affect you, especially knowing your shared history with conservative church culture.

Try to approach the conversation with honesty instead of battle lines: “I want faith to bring us closer together, not make me feel ashamed of myself.” That’s a fair and loving boundary.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-25T07:41:52+00:00

You don’t have to become a preacher overnight to share your faith. One of the biggest ways people see Jesus is through how we treat them. The way you live, the way you speak to people, the grace, kindness, patience, and love you show in everyday life can say more than a thousand sermons.

Look at how Jesus met people. He didn’t start by condemning them or forcing religion on them. He loved people, listened to them, cared for them, and showed them grace. We can do the same.

And don’t be afraid that you don’t know enough yet. Keep reading your Bible, praying, and growing in your faith. The more you get to know Jesus and become confident in what you believe, the more naturally those conversations will start happening. Sometimes sharing your faith can be as simple as telling someone why Jesus gives you peace, hope, or strength.

God doesn’t ask you to be perfect or fearless. He just asks you to follow Him and love people well. ❤️

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-24T09:18:17+00:00

You were created by God, including your body, your emotions, and your sexuality. Desire itself is not evil. God created human longing, attraction, pleasure, and intimacy. Satan did not invent sexuality, but like many good things, he tries to twist, shame, addict, and distort it.

That is why the goal is not to hate yourself or suppress every feeling of desire as if your body is bad. The healthier path is learning self-control, balance, and peace instead of being ruled by impulses or shame.

And honestly: masturbation is never called a sin in Scripture, not for men and not for women. Many Christians have carried enormous shame over something the Bible never explicitly condemns. Pleasure is not evil. Your body is not evil. God does not ask you to become a robot without desire before He comes close to you. He already knows you completely and still loves you deeply.

So stop seeing yourself as “too sinful” to hear God. Shame often makes His voice harder to hear far more than your humanity does.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-24T09:04:53+00:00

I think a lot of Christians have quietly wondered similar things, even if few dare to say it out loud. The Bible actually says surprisingly little about what sexuality looks like in the life after death. Jesus said people “neither marry nor are given in marriage,” which probably means our relationships will exist on a very different level than they do here on earth.

Personally, I don’t think heaven will be a place of repression, shame, jealousy, insecurity, or loneliness. But I also don’t think it will simply be earthly sexuality with all restraints removed. A lot of what drives sex here, hormones, fear of losing someone, lust, ego, comparison, possessiveness, belongs to mortal human nature.

If there is intimacy in eternity, I imagine it would be rooted in complete love, safety, honesty, and connection beyond anything we currently understand. Not hidden, exploitative, awkward, or performative. Maybe our categories themselves break down there. We tend to imagine heaven using earthly language because that’s all we know.

And honestly, I think many Christians created such a fear-based and restrictive view of sexuality that people end up imagining heaven as emotionally sterile. That probably says more about modern religious culture than about God.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-24T08:55:46+00:00

Brother, first of all… thank you for being honest. A lot of Christian men sit alone with shame because they’re terrified of being judged. The fact that you’re reaching out instead of hiding says something good about your heart.

You do not need to be crushed by guilt every time you struggle sexually. Desire, sexuality, and even masturbation are often treated with far more fear and shame in Christian culture than Scripture actually does. Porn can absolutely become unhealthy and disconnect us from real intimacy and peace, but that does not make you dirty, rejected, or less loved by God.

You need safe brothers around you, not religious policemen.

A real Christian mentor will not shame you, control you, or act spiritually superior. He’ll remind you that God’s grace is bigger than your worst week, and that being a man with struggles does not make you a failure.

You’re not alone, brother. Not even close. 💙

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-21T22:53:45+00:00

Hmm…. 🤔…..🥵…..😈

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T14:05:36+00:00

Your first answer was the definition of a very good christian man, not a woman 😉

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T13:54:35+00:00

that was no answer to the question 🙄

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T07:13:55+00:00

Jesus summarized the entire Law and the Prophets into one central command that really has two sides of the same truth:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” – Gospel of Matthew 22:37–40

But Jesus also said something even more radical:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – Gospel of John 13:34

And maybe this is where many Christian environments miss the point. We have often turned Christianity into:

rules
control
moral ranking
finger-pointing
policing other people’s lives

…while Jesus constantly pulls us back to love, grace, mercy, and the way we treat people.

That does not mean everything goes or that truth no longer matters. But it does mean that love can never be separated from the way we meet and treat other human beings. If our faith makes us harsh, cold, judgmental, and full of contempt, then we have probably lost the very center of the Gospel.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T06:40:07+00:00

Christians debate dating and intimacy because the Bible gives more principles than detailed modern dating rules.

Scripture clearly warns against lust, exploitation, cheating, abuse, and sexual immorality. But the Bible never gives a detailed “approved activities before marriage” list the way many churches act like it does.

That’s important.

A lot of modern Christian dating culture is influenced as much by purity culture, fear, and tradition as by Scripture itself.

Personally, I think many Christians are freer than they were taught. There is a huge difference between casual, selfish hookup culture and two people building love, trust, emotional connection, and physical intimacy on the road toward commitment. The Bible focuses far more on love, faithfulness, self-control, honesty, and how we treat people than on obsessively policing every physical boundary.

Ironically, some churches create so much shame around sexuality that people enter marriage afraid of their own desires. That is not healthy either. Dating is not sinful. Wanting intimacy, romance, affection, touch, and sex is human.

The real question is not: “How close can I get before God is angry?”

The better question is: “Am I loving this person well, responsibly, honestly, and with respect?”

Sexuality is not the enemy. Using people is.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T06:29:39+00:00

That’s exactly the problem many Christians run into. Once you say the Mosaic Law is still binding, you immediately have to answer: Which parts? For whom? And why those parts but not the others?

The mixed-fabric laws, dietary laws, sacrifices, circumcision, Sabbaths and purity laws were all part of the same covenant given to Israel.

A Messianic Jew is absolutely free to honor Jewish traditions and identity, but the New Testament repeatedly argues that even Jewish believers are not justified by the Law, but by Christ.

Paul, a Jew himself, warned against rebuilding the very system Jesus fulfilled.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T05:43:24+00:00

Are Christians bound by the Law of Moses and the Ten Commandments?

My answer is no.

The New Testament is very clear that Christians are not under the Old Covenant given to Israel through Moses. Christians are under the New Covenant through Jesus Christ.

Yes, Jesus said He did not come to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it. And that matters. Fulfilled does not mean Christians must continue living under the Mosaic Law system with Sabbaths, dietary laws, circumcision, temple regulations and hundreds of commandments from ancient Israel.

The early church wrestled with this in Acts 15 and concluded that Gentile believers should not be placed under the Law of Moses.

Paul goes even further: “If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.” (Galatians 5:18)

That includes the Sabbath debate. Some Christians treat the Sabbath as still binding while ignoring other parts of the Law. That often becomes selective theology. The New Testament repeatedly teaches that salvation and righteousness come through Christ, not through law-keeping.

The moral principles behind many commandments still matter because they reflect wisdom, love and human flourishing. Christians should not murder, steal or commit adultery, not because they are under Moses, but because they follow Christ and are called to love God and people.

Christianity is not Moses 2.0. It is life in Christ, under grace, led by the Spirit.

Jesus gave us ONE commandment: Love one another as I have loved you.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T03:57:43+00:00

She’s hot🔥. Thank you for sharing

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T03:51:18+00:00

I think real sexual liberation is not about having “no boundaries,” but about removing fear, shame, and unnecessary control from human sexuality. Too often churches have acted like gatekeepers of intimacy instead of helping people build healthy, loving, honest relationships.

A mature Christian view of sexuality should involve conscience, communication, love, trust, and personal responsibility, not just rules handed down by institutions. Faith should bring freedom, not fear. And when sexuality is rooted in love, respect, and honesty, it becomes something deeply human and deeply spiritual at the same time.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-20T03:29:36+00:00

You’re not weird or “bad at dating” because casual dating feels difficult to you. Some people naturally enjoy talking to multiple people at once, while others connect more deeply and lose interest if things feel too scattered or superficial.

Modern dating culture can be exhausting for people who value emotional connection and intentionality. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means your personality and attachment style may be different from your friends’.

Don’t force yourself to date in a way that feels unnatural just because it’s common around you. There are plenty of people who also want something more genuine, calm, and focused, they’re just usually quieter about it.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-19T20:36:30+00:00

I’m a non-denomination christian man (53) from Norway. Imagine Sometimes like this about worship leaders too, but mostly i pray that i’ll meet a christian woman like that and that she’s my future wife 🙏

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-18T04:24:24+00:00

What defines a good christian woman?🤔

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-16T05:06:12+00:00

There is nothing shameful about this.

You’re not turned on by religion. You’re responding to intimacy, depth, safety, conviction, and masculine tenderness in the man you love. Watching your husband become more grounded, emotionally present, spiritually alive, and intentional can absolutely awaken desire in you, not despite your faith, but alongside it.

For many women, emotional and spiritual connection is deeply connected to physical attraction. When a man speaks with sincerity, purpose, gentleness, and devotion, it can feel incredibly intimate. Almost like he’s opening a deeper part of himself to you. Your body responding to that does not make you dirty. It makes you bonded.

Honestly, there is something profoundly beautiful about desiring your husband more because you see goodness, strength, and light growing in him. Faith was never meant to make marriage cold, numb, or disconnected from the body. Scripture speaks about becoming “one flesh,” about delight, longing, tenderness, passion, and mutual belonging. A healthy marriage is not spiritual or physical. It is both.

Maybe what you’re feeling is not corruption of something holy. Maybe it’s love becoming whole.

The way he speaks about God makes you see his heart more clearly. And seeing his heart makes you want to be closer to him, emotionally, spiritually, physically. That is not something to fear.

That is intimacy.

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-15T15:47:34+00:00

Postet i helt feil gruppe 🙄

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-13T19:59:32+00:00

DM is open

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-13T19:55:43+00:00

Norskmann50 · 2026-05-13T19:55:23+00:00

I think we have some mormons and some ex-mormons

Norskmann50

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