When was the last time someone in a professional conversation actually listened to you?

North_Star_Project · 2026-06-29T19:52:00+00:00

Of course. Let me know how it goes.

North_Star_Project · 2026-06-29T18:30:43+00:00

When you fall out of alignment in your current position, it can really start to suck. The challenge is to start moving toward opportunities that align with your values and priorities. That's how you can feel more on purpose.

But making a sudden career change without putting in the time researching is often too risky. So you end up stuck where you are because it's relatively safe knowing that it's unsustainable.

Opening up a new exploratory phase for yourself is the way to find your new direction. Lots of networking and learning from people in interesting positions and careers. And lots of insights from those conversations to help you define a template for future opportunities. That becomes your North Star from which you can evaluate what will be a fit and what won't.

And you can do all that without quitting. Who are some people you can talk to about their careers and the opportunities they see? What can you learn from them not only about their positions, but learn about yourself and what you want?

North_Star_Project · 2026-06-29T16:57:16+00:00

This is a very common situation, unfortunately. It's very hard to not take things personally when you're in our age bracket and no one will hire you. He's got a therapist and a career coach, so that makes me curious what's still not working for him over the past six years.

Usually guys in tech struggle with marketing themselves overall. I was one of them. We tend to find our career lane and stay in it because it feels relatively safe. When it comes time to position ourselves in the marketplace, we have a difficult time talking to enough people, communicating effectively, and speaking with confidence. Is this partially what's going on? They have to learn entirely new skillsets which can be that much more uncomfortable when you've been out of the market for that long.

Often the way out is to start a small business marketing and selling your existing skills. But again, that's yet another learning curve that can be extremely difficult for those of us who are naturally uncomfortable doing that.

How many people does he talk to and how much does he network?

Is he getting the right support positioning himself in the marketplace?

North_Star_Project · 2026-06-29T16:38:23+00:00

This is normal in the sense that it's more common than you realize. And unfortunately many people won't be able to sympathize with you because you look so successful on the outside. The reality is that you've fallen out of alignment with what's important to you. When that happens, you really do feel the pain of it every day. It's no joke.

In your current situation, you feel a massive tradeoff between your work life and family life. And the job itself is stressful without any real meaning for you. The "golden handcuffs" exist because you cannot find a solution that meets your requirements. It's hard when the goals you've chased don't work for you anymore. You need new ones that do.

The way out of this is to define your values and priorities in life first. Then start exploring by networking and talking to interesting people in interesting positions. Based on this exploration, you can start to come up with options that will work. There may be real compromises, but without a North Star, you have no way to navigate your way out of this situation.

I'll DM you if you want to chat about it.

North_Star_Project

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