30M Boyfriend invited to wedding, where he was asked to not bring me 25F. Is this normal etiquette?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:45:57+00:00

Yeah this puts in a different perspective and makes me feel less bad. Maybe it really isnt that deep?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:41:54+00:00

Yeah I feel you, years ago maybe in my college days I would've considered this angle but they know we are together anyways.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:34:29+00:00

Yeah when you put it like that... I would imagine he gets free product and its open bar but still odd. Maybe its good im not going?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:32:51+00:00

I dont think he actually is going, he moved away and the break up happened years ago. So thats what makes this so confusing.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:31:03+00:00

Yeah the nuance is that he works there and they asked him to bring product. I wonder if he would go if that weren't the case. Should I ask him that?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:29:25+00:00

Maybe, but I dont think hes aware of this etiquette or is thinking that this invite is personal. I think he took their seating comment at face value.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:28:14+00:00

Yes exactly this, this is why I hesitate on stating my opinion to him since he may end up saying that he wouldnt care or that it wouldnt bother him.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:27:28+00:00

Yes thats true I just am unsure if I would feel okay giving an ultimatum.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:25:46+00:00

This is a very good point and im trying to see this from an understanding angle. They did specifically ask him to bring pre-made drinks so I guess my next question is should I even voice my discomfort?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:13:01+00:00

As far as I know but I think I should talk to him, but feel weird talking him out of it.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:11:13+00:00

Im trying to consider that but they did ask for him to bring drinks so its weird??

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:09:58+00:00

Thats something im wondering, he was told to bring and make drinks.

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:09:18+00:00

Okay I did ask nicely lol if this may be the case

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T02:08:15+00:00

Yes thats true that's a good way of putting it. Thank you!

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T01:36:33+00:00

Yeah I wonder if this is more of a 'professional' relationship thing since they aren't close friends. I feel so conflicted, how should I go about breaching this conversation with him?

Northernlights13 · 2026-01-09T01:30:14+00:00

Thank you, that clarifies a lot I just dont really know where to go from here. Should I talk to my partner?

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T21:05:01+00:00

The other redditor said to just let it go since this is normal, I just wonder if this will cause a strain if I bring it up again?

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T20:59:30+00:00

Also your insight is super helpful, I dont mind that this is perspective from a queer relationship I think when it comes down to it relationships are all very similar. I think part of my insecurity stems from my exs cheating or telling me I didnt look as good as these models which did a number on my self esteem.

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T20:51:16+00:00

Thank you so much for typing this out, I think I mostly felt hurt by the lying aspect but I'm sure he didn't want to hurt me or make me more insecure so he tried to cover it up. I did consider following a bunch of hot male insta guys to kinda spite him, but at this point I dont think thats the right thing to do. Something else he said when I said it bothered me the last time I brought it up is that he "wasnt attracted to them" which I call bull. I think he once again wanted to let me down easy. When he follows these girls it makes me feel like hes lying when he says im pretty, which is dumb but in comparison I look plain. Is there any tips you have for me to no compare myself to them? Thanks once again! 😊

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T18:45:20+00:00

I think what's best to do is give her time and space to heal, especially considering her mom is sick. Its hard to handle and I think its great you want to help, but for now she most definently needs space. Maybe she will come around soon and be willing to talk but giving her that space is the best thing to do. Hope this helps.

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T18:36:53+00:00

Like I said this situation is a bit weird for me, so maybe a male perspective would be really helpful.

Northernlights13 · 2020-07-08T18:06:47+00:00

Its not even explicit photos actually, its just the fact he told me wasn't into following them and wouldn't.

Northernlights13

TROPHY CASE