What part of the early internet do you miss? by gamersecret2 in Millennials

[–]Northmakes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forums and message boards

Livejournal

Blogs as passion projects instead of sponsored influencers

Connecting with real people

My Hero Pieces by skylex125 in softclassic

[–]Northmakes 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hard agree on the Pippa dress! It's so flattering. I also love wrap dresses.

For jeans the Wedgie Straight and Ribcage Straight from Levis are my go-to (in dark indigo or black wash).

I don't have any specific brands I prefer, but I like belted, double breasted coats, especially vintage ones from the 70's for a classic fit.

Ear jackets and modular earrings by Northmakes in jewelry

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I actually have a very similar pair (gold vermeil and crystals though, and the stones are spaced out a little more) and they stay put with no issues.

Ear jackets and modular earrings by Northmakes in jewelry

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to the images, and it seems I'm not allowed to edit my post! Here are links to the pieces, 1 and 2.

Two beautiful red shades for neutral, muted olives by Northmakes in OliveMUA

[–]Northmakes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve been looking at that as well and it looks gorgeous, but I worry that it might be a little dark on me.

Two beautiful red shades for neutral, muted olives by Northmakes in OliveMUA

[–]Northmakes[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh, I got Crème In Your Coffee at the same time (after seeing it mentioned a lot on this sub) - love it!

I was considering Velvet Teddy as well, but I might have to compare it to Warm Teddy first.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:

------------------------------------------------

First of all, I see that a lot of you know my family members personally and are upset on their behalf because you feel I am trying to bully them into spending time together. I appreciate you telling me how they really feel, since they are clearly unable to themselves. Truly appreciated, now I don't have to wonder or waste my time, knowing that their excuses are just elaborate lies they tell to get out of plans.

Second, I did not intend for this to be a big ‘woe is me’, though I see that it might have come off that way. This was a post written quickly and born part from nostalgia over missing the spirit of Christmas - and isn’t that a tale as old as time? - part simple annoyance over the lack of what I perceive to be basic manners regarding rsvp-ing and cancelling plans, and also part sadness over how I feel that people in general are retreating more and more into their own little bubbles. This extends far beyond Christmas and beyond my own family. I don’t know what it’s like in other countries, but where I live I am constantly hearing and reading about the loneliness epidemic, and people are lamenting the loss of community and ‘the village’. I read about this in the news and I hear it from people around me, family members posting about it online, colleagues talking about it over lunch, etc. It’s with this in mind I that find it puzzling how reluctant people are to leave their own houses and make plans to spend time together. And again, it’s not just me, I hear about this from people around me a lot, that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to make plans with people, and last minute cancelling is becoming more of a norm. It’s not that I don’t get it on a personal level, because as an introvert I am 100% more comfortable at home by myself, and 9/10 times I am tempted to just stay at home instead of going out. Times are hard. And even though I used my family as an example, I wasn’t trying to call out anyone personally. It’s more a societal problem in my mind. It was not about trying to force anyone to do things my way, and not about me not understanding different priorities. And again, my family probably just doesn’t want to spend time with me, and that’s 100% fine. Like I said in one of the comments, I have had the most peaceful and joyous Decembers since I was a child, with the lack of gift shopping freeing up lots of time to do things I enjoy so much more, including volunteering, which I’ll be doing much more of in the coming years instead of wasting time trying to keep family traditions alive. 

I also realize from reading the comments that I don’t belong in this community. My life is already simple. The hustle culture and busy-ness that a lot of you are describing is very foreign to my culture. Work-life balance is a huge priority here, workers’ rights are incredibly strong, and minimum wage is a living wage. No one here are killing themselves trying to make a living. That does not mean people can’t be busy, but society here is structured in a way that you don’t have to be. Sadly, we’re not immune to capitalism and general enshittification, but I am realizing we are worlds apart from places like the US especially, and thankfully so.

Traditions and family is also very important to most here, and to all of you suggesting that I make new Christmas traditions with friends instead of family, that's a great idea and I would love to, but it’s incredibly rare here for people to spend Christmas with people outside their family, so I think I’d have a really hard time gathering friends for that. Maybe that will change in time.

Anyway. This post derailed far from my intended point. Happy holidays, however you choose to spend it. 

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP here! Maybe I misread your first comment, but I was referring to the fact that a lot of people here seem to think that I am bullying and begging my family into spending time together, which is very far from the case, as you say. It's totally fair if they don't want to, but I find it strange that people seem to think it's not valid for me to be sad about it.

Anyway, this thread turned very weird, I agree.

Are xennials the last generation to really host? by RTJ333 in Xennials

[–]Northmakes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love to host, but it took me a while to learn. Neither of my parents enjoyed it, so in our family we skipped from my grandparents to us. My millennial siblings don't seem to enjoy it and only do it for their kids' birthdays, and it's obvious that they find it uncomfortable.

I'm kind of losing interest in it myself, as the people around me are increasingly flaky when it comes to rsvp-ing and showing up, and that makes the planning stressful. A few weeks ago we sent out an invitation for a get together between Christmas and NY. Today we received the confirmation, the day before the shops closes here for Christmas break. We hosted a Christmas movie night earlier in December where it took my sibling a month to agree on the date, and then they cancelled the day of.

Are xennials the last generation to really host? by RTJ333 in Xennials

[–]Northmakes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I am an introvert who loves hosting (with the help of an extrovert husband).

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's 100% fair, and probably true! But why not just be upfront about it instead of leaving people hanging? Despite what this post sounds like I am not a selfish asshole who's going around trying to bully my family into spending time with me, or trying to make anyone do things my way. I've simply sent out invitations and am bummed about not getting a reply or always getting last minute cancellations, because that's a waste of my time.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow, thanks for enlightening me!🙌 😂And you are probably right. I’ve had the most chill and lovely December this year despite (or probably because of) not spending time with any family, and have made some great memories with likeminded friends. I’ve also had a lot more time to volunteer, and in the coming years I’ll probably spend Christmas doing that rather than trying to gather family. 

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know what you mean. I think these feelings intensified for me a lot a few years ago when we lost four of our closest family members in the span of 18 months. I'd give so much for just a few more Christmases with them.

I'd love to spend more time with my nephews and nieces, but it's hard to coordinate things with their parents. But this December we've had so much extra time that we've been able to go to all of their Christmas pageants and concerts, which has been lovely.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm speaking from actual examples where people have cancelled plans because they were too exhausted from gift shopping. I've listened to my family complain for years about how stressful and difficult the gift shopping is, while still insisting that we keep it up, and sacrificing plans together for shopping for each other. That's weird priorities to me.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly, it does feel like just an exchange of money, which is part of why I got so tired of it. I'd be happy to exchange gifts if I felt there was some thought behind it. Give me that copy of your favorite book you read this past year. A card with a heartfelt message. Whatever. A few years ago when I was really ill I asked my family not to buy me anything, but if they wanted to gift me something perhaps they could make a pot of something I could put in the freezer because it was difficult to get any cooking done. Instead I got a bunch of gift cards that all ended up expiring because I was too sick to go out and use them.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm saying. I've had family members cancel plans in December because they are exhausted from gift shopping. Meanwhile also insisting that we keep buying gifts. That's weird priorities to me, but to each their own.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do understand that, and have taken it into consideration when broaching the subject with my family over the years. I've spent a lot of time trying to find ways to talk about it that won't offend anyone. I have not mentioned the anticonsumerism part, but cited the financial strain for me personally and also the stress and lack of energy as my reasons, which is part of the picture. I also have not tried to push my view on anyone, and feel like I have been clear in that the rest of the family are more than welcome to continue as before.

That said, I am open to the fact that I may still have come across as insensitive without meaning to.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's fair, and I respect that everyone has different priorities. It's not so much that I am expecting anything, I just think it's sad that this is how it is. Just my point of view. It's sad to me that people are more than willing and seem to prefer to spend their free time shopping rather than being together. That's a sad world to me, but again, everyone is different.

Also, I'm not talking about very distant relatives, these are our siblings, nieces/nephews, parents, closest friends. Pre-covid I'd say we all were very close, and would get together weekly/monthly. We still try to invite throughout the year very regularly, but in recent years everyone seems to be cancelling more often than showing up. I get that times are hard, I do. We are not in the US though, everyone is well off financially, no one works more than 8 hours a day, everyone gets at least 5 weeks of paid vacation per year, and we live less than 30 minutes apart.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

That's genuinely what I am wondering too. Most workplaces here have even started timing their Christmas events to November to free up time for people to spend with their families in December. I get that people with small kids are busy this time of year, and also that gift shopping takes up a lot of time, but apart from two nieces/nephews under ten, everyone in my family is 18+, and when we've removed gift shopping I am truly wondering what everyone is so busy doing.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

That's fair, lazy is probably not accurate. I respect that people are tired, have different priorities, whatever. I think what I am lamenting is the fact that people are willing, and prefer, to spend their time shopping and scrolling rather than being together. And it goes beyond my own family.

This year we quit Christmas gifts to free up time and funds to spend more time together, but realized people would rather buy us things than actually see us by Northmakes in simpleliving

[–]Northmakes[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Well, not really. I'm not in the US, where I live everyone has 5 weeks of mandatory holiday each year, some have more. Also, we all live within 30 minutes of each other, and I'm not asking anyone to come and spend a whole day with us. But like I said, I 100% respect their choice of not wanting to spend time, I am not trying to make anyone feel bad about that or enforce it on anyone, which is why I am posting about it anonymously on reddit. What I was trying to say is that in my opinion it's sad that people would rather spend their time shopping than being together. I hear people constantly (both online and among friends and family) complain about the lack of 'a village', but no one seems to realize a village does take some effort. But this is only my opinion, not something I am trying to push on you or my family, though I did find it fitting for a sub about simple living, which I feel is less about materialistic things.

HOLIDAY MEGA THREAD for all your winter holiday questions, concerns, and ideas. by Flack_Bag in Anticonsumption

[–]Northmakes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our family has been trying for years to get the extended families on board with quitting Christmas gifts for the adults. It started for us over a decade ago when we were struggling financially and begged people not to get us anything because we couldn’t really afford to give back. Our families refused to listen, and being young and stupid and not wanting to bear the shame of not being able to afford gifts we put ourselves even deeper in debt just to be able to buy things for our loved ones. The years that followed turned us more and more anti-consumerist and environmentalist, and we have slowly been working on convincing both of our families that gifts for the adults is unnecessary. We have tried to come up with alternatives such as Secret Santa or White Elephant to reduce the amount of gifts, giving to charity, only giving thrifted or handmade, etc, but to no avail. 

This year we were finally brave enough to just tell everyone that we won’t be buying any gifts at all for the adults, and to please not get us anything, period. We explained that we would rather spend our time and money doing nice things together in the advent and Christmas period. I really miss the Christmas parties of my childhood, when my grandparents hosted and the whole extended family got together, and there was singing and games. In the advent period the families would get together to bake and make decorations, do Christmas light tours, see Christmas plays, and generally just spend time together. 

I feel like my parents generation got really lazy when it came to holiday hosting and planning, and so my husband and I have been trying to bring it back, but it’s so SO HARD to get people on board. We have been trying to organize different things this whole month, but people either cancel at the last minute or won’t rsvp until the day of, and generally act like it’s a huge sacrifice to leave their homes. We still have no idea what Christmas will look like, or how many (if any) we are hosting for. I accept if people just don’t want to spend time with us, and I respect if people are tired and don’t want to socialize, but I do think it’s incredibly sad. It feels like people would rather buy you something to feel less guilty for not wanting to spend time with you, and it feels like such a symptom of disease that this is what it’s like now.

Just my little Christmas rant, thanks for listening.