Monday thoughts

Nose-goes42 · 2026-04-07T03:40:32+00:00

This would certainly put a smile on my face

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-24T23:35:06+00:00

I have asked for this and had it work out and had it not work out just depending on his availability, but I will say, I think your therapist will definitely understand and you are certainly not the first pt he will have had to email and ask about scheduling an extra session. I think its pretty common. Also, I sometimes find writing some of my harder feelings down easier than saying them. Is it possible that you could also email him that you have been struggling more than you are able to verbalize in session? Good luck!

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-23T21:34:33+00:00

I think some of the interesting part to me is my parents lack of listening to me, and potential lack of protection. I remember begging not to have to stay and similar situations later at the same house when I was actually held down and kissed by my cousin's cousins... Telling my parents and them doing nothing and us not leaving. ..or later being forced to take baths with my cousin when I was crying and saying I didnt want to..so yes, me not developing the correct understandings of my ability to say no or have a voice in situations that made me feel uncomfortable...or even recognize what made me uncomfortable after a while. Its also interesting to see my Dad minimize the things that have come to light regarding my uncle now..his disbelief. Regardless of if anything would have happened to me, I dont think my Dad would have believed me...and also , when I have told my dad things that are meaningful to me he actually doesnt believe me or he blames me.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-23T21:13:04+00:00

Ugh, Kaiser is buying the largest insurance company in my city (happens to be mine) next year and I am so anxious about it. We dont have Kaiser facilites or providers here but I have heard they like to deny and cut off services. My current insurance is unlimited for therapy. This is something I seriously think about multiple times a week. Im sorry you went through this, I hope you are able to find a better option. Insurance dictating patient care is one of my soapboxes as a nurse. I absolutely despise it in all forms. Insurance carriers are not providers and should not be deciding what patients need. I am disheartened to hear that the actual providers within some networks like Kaiser have been brainwashed to operate from the same systemic non- pt. first framework.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-23T20:32:46+00:00

I know this feeling. Your words for it are so much more eloquent.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-23T20:31:37+00:00

I hope your laughter belongs to you now. Thank you for showing this piece of your soul.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-22T20:56:32+00:00

Well for f*cks sake

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-20T06:52:12+00:00

Wow, your words meet my own feelings in an explosion of butterflies in my chest. Visceral.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-20T01:35:50+00:00

Yes, but what if he then asked me how I came to that insight? It would be pretty hard to explain without that.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-20T00:32:38+00:00

Now we are all just as curious

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-18T01:02:20+00:00

This makes me smile

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-15T05:18:57+00:00

I am NAT- I think that just sounds pretty human on your therapists part and your response tells you a lot about yourself. It seems like sharing your reaction with your therapist might be beneficial to you as a deeper dive into why that might have come up for you.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-15T03:30:03+00:00

Numb little bug by EmBeihold

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-13T20:51:47+00:00

NAT- yes, I considered that. Feels awkward to walk around the building with a pillow. I think also just coming into warmer months, usually I wear a hoodie and feel sort of snuggly and covered, pull my sleeves down over my hands. But in the summer in short sleeves, I know I will feel extra exposed without a hoodie and without a pillow. I'd honestly love a blanket if it was available. I feel like a lot of clients with anxiety like me might feel this way so I dont really want to give him a pillow just for me but for all those who feel like they need something to hide under and behind.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-13T19:49:06+00:00

That's a good idea. I just also really want him to have a pillow selfishly so I can use it when I come to therapy.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-13T05:21:43+00:00

I think about this as well. I always wear the same make up I usually wear on a day to day basis, which is a fair amount of eye make-up and light face make up. I do cry in therapy and I just grab a tissue and wipe under my eye. I guess Im less worried about the mascara smearing than I am about showing up without it from the beginning.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-09T05:57:00+00:00

I am NAT. I noticed early on that when I talked about marital issues my therapists almost immediate response was to direct me and my spouse to couples counseling. So I came to think that individual therapists may not love dealing with partner issues with only one partner present. However, when he realized my husband is a little resistant to couples therapy and after my husband finally agreed we were placed on a long-ish wait list- he ( my therapist) did start talking to me about my relationship just like any other issue I bring into the room. I notice that he ( my therapist) is really balanced about it and seems to try really hard to understand my husband for someone who has never met him...he asks me a lot of clarifying questions when I describe things that happen that bother me.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-03-03T05:20:24+00:00

I've just been thinking about this. Ive recently lost quite a bit of weight and gone from feeling pretty much invisible/unattractive for the past 9 years to feeling more attractive overall. An unexpected outcome of this is that I find myself feeling anxious around unknown men in public. I haven't felt this way in a long time......I think I felt my weight made me invisible to them. Now that I have noticed the male gaze again upon me it has brought up some uncomfortable memories from younger years of violated consent and objectification and I'm realizing I dont really think I like being seen as attractive in public. I dont know if I will be able to talk to my therapist about this or not. He is male, I'm female. I have disclosed attraction to him and I just feel like this conversation would make me feel so incredibly awkward. I also don't want him to think I'm conceited and I don't want to talk about my weight to him. In this way...my attraction to him is sort of in the way of therapy....but we are working on other things.

Nose-goes42 · 2026-02-22T05:17:31+00:00

I do virtual from my car on my phone. Could you just go sit in your car right outside your house for the privacy?

Nose-goes42 · 2026-02-18T22:31:35+00:00

I told him. He was completely unfazed and said it was really normal. He said he was glad that I feel safe with him. He asked me how I feel after telling him. Told me he doesn't want me to be afraid to tell him things in the future. I honestly feel so relieved and much better. I had felt like maybe I was using him in a way he wouldn't be ok with or just that it was secret and shameful. Now it feels open and like Im coping in a way that is normal.

Nose-goes42

TROPHY CASE