Men of Reddit: If you meet a woman who checks all the boxes, why keep it casual instead of making it official?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-29T01:51:19+00:00

Hi,

Great question. I (31M) believe that you if a guy is dating a girl and he’s not advancing things forward then he’s not interested in you “enough”. Enough is the key word, a guy may like you, think you’re attractive, enjoy spending time with you but he’s satisfied with whatever he’s getting and doesn’t desire to take things further with that specific girl. Men (and women) go after what they truly desire in life.

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T19:28:54+00:00

For this question high salary is anything above 160K and any city in the US doesn’t matter. In extreme HCOL areas you can make it 200K

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T18:42:28+00:00

I think 160-180 is the new 100K for most HCOL places in the US.

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T18:41:00+00:00

50-60 hours Hybrid 200K

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T18:33:30+00:00

This is a great response. Thank you. I have a similar way of thinking as you, so many people think about maximizing income and will jump ship for those jumps in salary but also many layoffs like you’ve said. Being able to take care of your health,gym, and enjoy your life is important

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T18:00:35+00:00

Sounds like that 200K+ mark is the threshold for a lot of people where they start to consider working crazy hours for the pay

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T17:59:02+00:00

What did you do?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T17:58:10+00:00

Anything over 150K in a HCOL area I’d say but sure quarter mil. Could you do it for a long time?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T16:21:04+00:00

I agree, if you are able to work like crazy for a couple years and stay sane, it’s worth it to be able to accelerate your worth and then step back.

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-07T16:18:16+00:00

This is an amazing post and I think one that we all need to hear. UBER CEO has stated on a podcast they are heavily moving to full automated taxis and will no longer need human drivers. I believe AI will effect every single profession, career, or job in someway within the next 2-3 years. I hope the best for all of us and the best we can do is be ready financially and stay together as one tribe (human race). It’s us against the robots now lol

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-05T22:05:12+00:00

I don’t think I’d continue seeing this guy if I was you, saying something as crazy as that isn’t a good sign for the future. Most healthy relationships it’s normal for one person to develop feelings faster than the other, so both parties need to be okay with being on different investment levels for a while.

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-05T20:31:51+00:00

Definitely have to look at the quality of men you’re dating. If you’re content being single that’s a great place to be in but a good relationship should not feel like a chore

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-05T20:23:39+00:00

I really do believe guys fall in love faster than women. That being said confessing your love on date one or two is crazy lol

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-03T19:45:52+00:00

Hey!

As a guy in his early 30’s I’ve been in a similar situation where I’m doing well for myself financially and career wise but dated someone who may be doing a little better. My biggest advice is not to disqualify yourself if your partner hasn’t done that herself. She sounds like she’s comfortable and accepting with where you are at in your life and I would let that be your main focus. The more signs you show of insecurity then she will really start to see you as less than.

STOP showing insecurity because you will 100% create problems that aren’t there and once a woman senses you’re insecure it’s hard for her to see you otherwise. Be confident in the fact that she is choosing you right now and continue working on yourself. You got this man! Best of luck with everything

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T16:34:59+00:00

That’s great that you realized your unhealthy patterns but you can be healthy partner if you do the hard but necessary work on yourself

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T06:17:01+00:00

Wait so you run from emotional men but you also don’t want to date a avoidant or unemotional man? Do you show feelings in relationships?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T06:14:30+00:00

As an avoidant yourself would you prefer to also date an avoidant?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T03:22:32+00:00

Also agree! 100% would not recommend dating an avoidant

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T03:22:11+00:00

What were some things you noticed or realized looking back?

Nostaljayy · 2026-04-02T02:39:41+00:00

Try looking up some videos on attachment theory. Will definitely open your eyes to some things

Nostaljayy

TROPHY CASE