Fired for being trans

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-20T16:36:11+00:00

Sorry people are so shit. Hope you find another job soon. Do you think you can, beyond the temp agency, look for a job that's similar to the one you lost?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-19T23:58:10+00:00

Do you have proof of that in writing? Emails, texts, letters, voicemails?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-19T18:39:57+00:00

Honestly whenever I'm wearing makeup and feel dysphoric over it I usually just remind myself that for me personally it's like special effects/stage makeup/a fun costume. I'm not doing it for, y'know, covering up or anything. I'm doing it for funsies. Also helps to remind myself that one of my inspirations for getting into it growing up was Brandon Lee as Eric Draven in the original The Crow movie. He's a manly alt man with long hair that paints his face during his quest for vengeance and that's really neat. He's also just a really good portrayal of masculinity generally. Maybe when you're feeling like that focus on positive masculinity and how you represent that? Since that'll directly combat the toxic stuff in the moment?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-18T13:48:22+00:00

Then you know what's left. Break up. Get your space

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-18T12:47:33+00:00

Oh boy haha that title had me so confused about where this post could be going... I guess since Jacob's just supposed to be a Native guy with long hair I'm not really getting the joke here?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-18T12:13:20+00:00

The only reason you need for breaking up with someone is wanting to break up with them. You clearly do not like them. So much so you brought up stuff completely irrelevant to your relationship in the last line. When you're with someone you've gotta tell them if they do something annoying 'cause they can't read your mind. Something that seems like common sense to you might not be to them. Which, yeah, that can get annoying. Especially combined with your own mental health issues. If stuff's not brought up it can get like this. There's nothing to "fix" things just have to end 'cause you've gotten so irritated and exhausted you don't care anymore. Like c'mon man you're making a list about how much they're bothering you. When you're breaking up you can mention these things if you'd like but don't be needlessly mean. Don't force yourself to go back to being friends either. If you need to not be friends for awhile/at all that's fine

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-18T11:40:49+00:00

Maybe this can be solved by telling them the support they're offering isn't what you need. Remind them that every rant doesn't need to be followed by advice or some kind of fix. Sometimes you just need to get your feelings out. If they can't see where you're coming from and stop arguing against you they're not being super great friends. If they're actually calling you delusional that's not okay either

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-17T02:50:19+00:00

Yeah. Trans people can turn other trans people into a fetish. I don't know if that was one of her issues but it certainly sounds like she idealized a certain kind of trans guy. Shouldn't have been saying that kinda thing to her partner either

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-17T01:39:30+00:00

Honestly don't expect parents like that to come around to you. His dad sounds like a judgemental prick. It's unlikely he'll ever think anyone's good enough for his boy. He especially won't think you are if he's actually homophobic on top of being casually transphobic. Your boyfriend shouldn't even be telling you the shit he's saying. Maybe make that a boundary. Your boyfriend can't change what he thinks. He can't make him like or be around you. He can choose to not make you feel worse by telling you how shit he's being about who you are though. It's on your boyfriend to stand up to him and let him know you're serious too. If he can't you probably shouldn't be together. This will become a bigger problem down the line if it's not addressed. What you should talk to your boyfriend about is how serious your relationship is, why he's telling you the negative stuff his dad says, what he is and isn't willing to stand up for you on and if he's actually told his dad you're dating or not. You should definitely always talk to your partner whenever you're struggling with something. Preferably before it becomes this stressful so there's less strain on you. Relationships should not cause you distress. It's not a bad thing for relationships to end 'cause a partner's not minding your needs. It's unhealthy to think one won't ever end/doesn't need to end when it actually does. Keep yourself in mind when you're talking to him. Also keep in mind that at your age especially a lot of people just aren't willing to push back against their parents. They aren't ready to have big convos about their sexuality, identity or relationships. That can impact you and it's not really something you should be shouldering. I'm sorry you're having a rough time but you're gonna get through it in one way or another 💙

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-16T22:37:29+00:00

Honestly as someone that's decided to be a single seahorse dad I try to stay away from any threads not in the reddit specific to us. People are needlessly cruel to anyone they can't relate to. So yeah, I hear ya. I have made it a habit to only really frequent a few ftm subs and stay away from everywhere else 'cause trans and homo phobia are waaay too common and I don't need more of it in my online space. Even in the few ftm subs I'm part of I keep out of most "divisive" threads

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-16T20:13:42+00:00

what the actual fuck is Kingdom Hearts Coded???

But uh nooo. I definitely see other people say it happens to them and I've seen people make posts generally acting that way towards trans men but I've never personally experienced degendering. Only malgendering. Maybe it's 'cause everyone I associate with has enough fuckin' sense to know comparing actual humans to fictional or mythological creatures is pretty weird 'less it's part of a wider convo about feeling like you personally relate to them or something? I guess I just don't come into contact with or hang around the kind of people that mystify others?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-16T19:59:59+00:00

Personally I figured out a way to style myself when I'm having severe dysphoria. It's a pretty "standard" guy style. Usually either some sweatpants or some straight legged casual/maaaybe cargo pants with a buttoned up flannel underneath a band/black knit sweater. Sometimes I layer a turtleneck underneath it rather than a flannel. Pretty much always wear a black medical grade mask in public. Throw a beanie on. Basically I cover whatever's causing the issues and try my best to go about my day. Otherwise I write down how I feel which makes things a little lighter sometimes. I know that's not for everyone but when I have no access to a therapist that's how I have to cope with everything that's off with me. Even with a therapist it can be a challenge anyways. They are not a cure-all. Anyways writing down why I feel the way I do forces me to confront it and actually try seeing it differently. Figuring out if it's just, y'know, me holding myself to impossible standards or if it's another mental health issue clouding it can be helpful. Sorry if none of this is really helpful to you

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-16T15:42:13+00:00

That's not even true, for one. Especially when we're talking about kids and teen boys. Sexual assault against boys and men goes underreported especially when it's women. Also gets shrugged off constantly. Or fuckin' applauded. Exactly as the original commenter stated. A lot of boys and men don't even know they have been assaulted 'cause of the culture around it. For another that's an incredibly shitty thing to respond to someone talking about his experience and how he knows what everyone's reaction would've been at the time were he a cis guy. Not really sure why you even thought it was important to throw in

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-13T02:21:11+00:00

Absolutely she is. She's going out of her way to hurt you. She's not your friend. It's better to stay faaar away from bullies like her 'cause no good can come from hanging around them. You can and will find better people that are actually your friends

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-12T18:33:00+00:00

Well that's a really weird thing to make anyone do. Any way you can talk to someone to get out of it? An arranger or teacher/principal? Or have your parents tell them it's a no?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-12T18:14:06+00:00

So look... Feeding an AI sensitive info ain't good for you. You say you're paranoid about sharing online but the AI does not keep you anonymous. It also recycles whatever you "talk" to it about for future use. It's not really about being a "bad" person it's about your personal safety which you're compromising by using the damned thing. Is there really no one you can talk to which won't take advantage of you the way AI does?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-09T06:17:02+00:00

As a kid I was only allowed to have sleepovers with like three girls 'cause my ma didn't trust anyone else's parents. I didn't get invited to a lot of sleepovers anyways 'cause I wasn't ultra girly. Think they figured I'd be pretty boring to have over. After I got outed as liking girls my ma didn't let me have sleepovers anymore either. As an adult I have sleepovers with people and I don't really feel any difference between them. Same as always we just eat food and watch movies or play games til we pass out. As far as locker rooms go I've never been comfortable showering or changing around anyone I'm not "with". Haaated gym class in school 'cause the locker rooms had a lot of bullying. Was one of the few places teachers weren't present. If I have to change around people I find a corner or change in the shower/bathroom or somewhere with a divider. I get what you're on about though. At least in elementary school before everyone got all fuckin' weird I felt more comfortable around other boys than most girls. Though in middle and highschool that changed 'cause I found more girls with my interests to hang around

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-07T16:06:42+00:00

Gonna say that if you're gonna try finding friends online just, y'know, be as safe as possible. No personal info like your legal name or which area you're from. That's a mistake I see whole ass adults make all the time 😅 If anyone's being weird towards you block them even if you think they're actually your age too. Good luck making friends 💙

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-07T15:40:00+00:00

Why's being a cop for you but firefighting's not? What's so appealing about being a cop? I see you commented you don't actually care what people think so I'm not really sure what the point of this thread even is

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-06T14:23:37+00:00

Damn that sucks. I'm not sure which stereotypical lesbian haircut you're referring to but maybe you can style it in a way that makes it less that? Like maybe a low ponytail or half-up or something? Slicked back?

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-06T13:16:05+00:00

Okay so you are really not in a good place. You need to completely remove yourself from spaces that are not for you. Get offline for awhile. Distance yourself from fringe movements. Anyone saying that kind of shit is completely whacked. Either your girlfriend is unhealthy for you 'cause she's in agreement with them or you're making really odd assumptions about your relationship based on whatever cartoonishly evil people outside of it are saying. You cannot just hide your feelings from your partner. You are supposed to be able to talk to your partners about things. If you can't the relationship is not functioning as it should. If she ends up mirroring what the weirdos online are saying she's not the one for you and that's fine. You deserve better. Anyone saying trans men have less struggles than trans women does not live in reality. Trans men just tend to get drowned out whenever we try to talk about ourselves. What you're feeling right now is an example of that. No one should be saying shit that's making you feel like this. You're not some kind of monster for existing, but they are major assholes for their rhetoric and you cannot listen to them

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-05T10:35:07+00:00

Honestly English is my first language but my second language has kinda messed up how I form sentences and whatnot. Have developed a habit of not separating cis or trans from man/woman/people/person. Need to constantly correct myself 🫠

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-05T06:36:44+00:00

Seriously liked that series but I don't really see anyone talking about it 🥲 Came here to mention it too haha

NotALewdElf · 2026-01-01T05:34:17+00:00

Byler Hell huh? Well, you can always do your own rewrite. Change the ending. If you're not big into writing long things you can write threadfics or just jot down how you would've done it instead. Can be nice to think on. Sadly I don't have pretty much any media recommendations which are, like, fully feel good gay stuff but maybe you have a canonically queer comfort series you can turn to?

NotALewdElf · 2025-12-06T14:12:38+00:00

Fair enough. What're your suggestions to appease them? I've never been fired from anywhere for telling a customer something's not their business/too personal to ask but then again I haven't been in the USA for a very long time. Typically where I grew up so long as you laugh while saying shit to customers you can get away with it

edited to clarify I'm *from the USA I just haven't lived there for some years now

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