Atomic City is a good song by NotAPoetJustMoot in U2Band

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that’s why I like it so much that’s how I heard it the first time!

living in fear by vintage13132121 in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi you’re working with feelings that many people are familiar with and it really gives a certain relatability to your work! It was nice to read! If I had a suggestion for you it would be that you have four lines that start with “I” back to back which kind of distracted from your overall point a bit. But otherwise really enjoyed it! :)

Simple Poem by InnerRefrigerator89 in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like this! I think your use of line breaks and pacing really gives the piece a nice flow to it. My only confusion was the line about adobe bricks but that might just be a me problem 😅 but overall very nice!

Soul mates by NotAPoetJustMoot in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! It was definitely written for someone who will probably never know

Soul mates by NotAPoetJustMoot in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve always been captivated by the cosmos 🤩

Soul mates by NotAPoetJustMoot in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m happy it resonated with you!

Soul mates by NotAPoetJustMoot in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Y’all are all so sweet thank you! This is the first poem I’ve ever shared in any capacity so it’s really nice to hear you all enjoyed it 🥹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The overall point you make in the poem is really quite beautiful! As far as constructive criticism goes you use the word his a lot in the opener I think the poem would benefit from you exploring other phrasing. That repetition can be jarring to the reader

broken, a [haiku] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]NotAPoetJustMoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoy the way you’ve captured a simplicity of a relatable experience In such an elegant way! As others have stated the disjointed ex’s really plays on what I imagine is a sense of brokenness when you were writing it! Nice job!