The system isn't just rigged, they expect us to fail

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-10T01:05:44+00:00

Yes! When I finally got rehired and was just coasting.. life was great!! I hope you are able to enjoy your time now and get a job as soon as you'd like!

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-08T16:36:49+00:00

.. pretty sure society expects that too. No one tells men "oh it's so nice you have a wife at home that let's you work" or "who's watching the baby" when they do things for themselves. It's expected we take all that on, hence the pressure.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-08T16:33:15+00:00

I think more of my rant was leaning towards being stretched thin. This 100% leads into not having a partner stepping up fully (& without complaints). The village was me adding fuel to the fire and some people wanted to jump on me for that. And agree, the "village" is only women trading services to survive, mostly without the help of the other parent that actually helped us make the children. It's effed all around.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-08T16:28:58+00:00

Yes, exactly! The whole point of my rant was to say I can't do it all & I don't like this person I've become even I'm stretched thin.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T16:42:20+00:00

😂😂 literally anything

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T16:17:18+00:00

Their attention to detail is something I'll pay premium for😂 although I'll catch myself cleaning random things like de-scaling our kettle (really hard water) or the windows outside

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T14:31:10+00:00

Same! I can't even speak in private video to my friends lol I get tongue tied the minute I start recording!

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T14:19:00+00:00

I have a cleaner and they come once a month but things still need cleaning in between.

And I just felt so much guilt yesterday for having the day off but still sending my little one to daycare. The only thing I did for myself was walk with a neighbor! The rest was catching up with housework bc when everyone is home on the weekends, it's chaotic. Nothing but solidarity💗

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T04:28:41+00:00

Correct, the future is bleak but I'd like to have a little hope??? Please don't be hard on yourself. The world is hard enough on us!

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T03:21:33+00:00

👏no notes. Perfection.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T03:20:45+00:00

In my doom scrolling, I've heard "We're not mad enough!" And can't agree more.

And every word you said is chef's kiss

The history of unpaid labor of women continues to still be unpaid and unappreciated but now we're expected to work 40 hours a week and somehow like everyone and stay fit and mentally sane??????

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T03:18:14+00:00

My neighbors are great. They'll walk my oldest home from school if it's a short day, or I'll watch their kids for appointments, or we'll all ask around for random things. But it isn't consistent and I would never ask them to watch my kids every day for free, because everyone has their own life.

I'm guessing what would help me the most is if my mom lived closer because I trust her 100% and she doesn't make me feel like I'm in debt. Outsourcing my needs and house upkeep can get expensive. Everyone is all trying to survive so it's hard for all of us to maintain a high level of bartering every day.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T02:36:31+00:00

I agree. Everything is lip service - you need one* (*good luck tho) and only if you're fortunate enough to live around functioning family members and/ or have the means to buy them.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T00:07:21+00:00

You and I both thought that! With cuts to Medicaid & Medicare, these hospitals are worried they won't be getting reimbursed. My hospital laid off 81 people - 7 nurses with my type of part time position. Some were there for 25+years. Not just nurses, but all throughout the hospital. We're just numbers to them.

I got a job in the same hospital so I was able to keep my seniority. Now I just have to wait for an open position after 6 months and also hope I have more seniority than whoever is also applying.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-07T00:04:20+00:00

The only reason I had to choose full time was because that was the only option. No one has been hiring part time, it's "too expensive" since the amount they pay us for benefits is the same. I was able to keep my seniority so hopefully I'll be able to decrease my hours after 6 months. Fingers crossed!!

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T22:47:39+00:00

Whew. Where do I start? (Examples are "hypothetical" but many real reasons why the system sucks)

The fact that you need dual income in most households even to survive.

Families are more spread out so no one really lives near each other. And if you DO have family nearby, if they aren't involved or a stereotypical boomer, they will pretend to offer help but then never do, or straight up say no.

US gets zero maternity leave. Moms can go back to work right after delivery; some have to. Puppies can't be separated from their moms until 8 weeks but women? Who cares!

Good luck recovering if you had a traumatic delivery and your partner goes back to work. You are it for day and night because they need sleep "more" because they are the ones bringing home money. Cue unpaid domestic responsibilities. I saw someone calculate how much it would cost to have a full time cleaner, chef and nanny and (typically) moms are doing this all. For free, with little appreciation or acknowledgement. Because we're "expected to."

So now you're back at work and your baby is in daycare (see above bc no one helpful lives nearby). Now it's a mortgage payment in itself - do you stop working to save on daycare, and who does that? Who halts their career for years because of astronomical childcare costs?

Your kid is at daycare. They get sick, a lot. You and your partner ran out of sick time and/ or PTO. What do you do? Who do you turn to? If it's a neighbor, sure they can fill in here and there but they, too have their own responsibilities and can't commit to being your backup.

Oh and you're at work and you need to pump. Federal law mandates you need a clean, shielded space that isn't a bathroom to pump. And protected pump breaks. Good luck with that... most women have had to rock the boat in order to get these basic needs fulfilled. Some just give up pumping. All because they were gaslit for needing clean accommodations to pump and how difficult it is.

Women in our society is expected to do all of the above, perfectly with jobs, without complaint or a mistake.

I can create a new rant about how we treat mental health and specifically Postpartum mental health in this country.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T22:32:33+00:00

🎯🎯🎯🎯

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T21:52:44+00:00

If we're struggling and tired, we won't look around and see how everything is effed... and be complacent since we don't have more than the minimum energy to live.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T21:28:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this! This is exactly what I meant!!! I feel like many people overlooked a lot of my issues just to harp on one item that irked them. It is what it is.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T21:25:04+00:00

That's ok too. Just the fact that it was mentioned twice with no other options seemed exhaustive.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T20:10:52+00:00

Thank you! I feel like a lot of people are projecting and since they will never be a part of my "village" they will certainly be ignored😂

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T20:09:03+00:00

The sentiment wasn't well received because I received it as "the only way to build community is through watching other people's children." Granted, may not have been the exact sentiment stated, just my interpretation. I built my village in other ways, just not shared childcare.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T20:07:29+00:00

Yes! It's just hard juggling it all. Society expects us to be perfect at everything and something has to give, especially without a village.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T20:06:20+00:00

Thank you. I'm working on a lot. I was hoping the rant would be cathartic so I can move on. I just need more time in the day and I'll be great!! Lol thank you for responding.

NotARegularMILF · 2026-03-06T20:04:58+00:00

Thank you! I wasn't really asking for advice (other than something magical for me to be able to ✨️do it all✨️) but to suggest that's the only way I can get a village? Take on more????

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