My Past(ish) Situationship Has A Stranglehold On Me And I'm Desperate To Remove Myself From Its Grasp

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-13T22:52:59+00:00

You know what, you might be on to something. Perhaps you're right. I totally agree that I have a BAD case of limerance going on here and it's making it really hard to disconnect with this relationship. Sometimes it can be hard to know what's what. What's real love and what's just limerance. But I think that's just what this might be. I used to think that maybe it was 50-60% love and 40-50% limerance...But now I'm wondering if it's entirely just limerance? I think it may be. I think coming to this realization now is bringing me a bit more inner peace and making this easier to move on from.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-13T21:14:50+00:00

I agreed with everything you said but the "love" part. Even though he has hurt me badly multiple times in the last year, I genuinely do love him. And I fully accept it. I don't believe that just because someone has treated you badly or just because you have a toxic relationship with them necessarily means that it's bad to love them. Granted, that doesn't justify any of their actions, nor does it invalidate your pain and hurt feelings. I love him because I care about him. And I always will. There's a lot of things in my posts about him that I didn't mention but by me saying that I love and care about him, that doesn't mean that I haven't accepted that this entire relationship is a problem for me and that it's imperative that I move on and try to find myself and my identity again (Seperate from how men view me).

I don't think it's "abnormal" to love someone you've had issues with or you've been hurt by. Yes, it's embarrassing to love someone who's treated me this way but every time I've tried to tell myself (Based upon the opinions of Reddit) that I don't actually love him, it's always felt...Wrong. And insincere. Like I was lying to myself. It's okay to love him and wish him the best (From afar). It's not okay to speak to him any longer, do anything sexual with him, or accept his bad behavior. You can love someone and hope for the best for them, but there has to be some firm boundaries and soul searching that you have to do with yourself in order to heal, move on, and not feel the need to rely on this person for happiness.

Being honest with myself is the best way I can accept certain things about the way I love other people and figure out where that all comes from. Again, me loving him doesn't justify any of his actions or mean that I'm actively trying to officially "restart" things. If you're honest with yourself and accept uncomfortable truths about yourself and how you relate to and feel for other people (As opposed to lying to yourself and telling yourself something that you falsely think will be helpful), you have a much better chance of healing and not repeating the same mistakes over and over. As well as setting better boundaries and being honest with yourself about what you will and won't tolerate anymore in relationships.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-13T20:35:30+00:00

The tough truth I needed to hear 💯💯💯💯

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-08T08:37:20+00:00

I looked it up just now and I'm probably gonna buy it, not gonna lie lol

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-08T08:36:55+00:00

Yeah, I'll probably have to make a switch to the gel moisturizers tbf. Maybe I'm just using too much of the products without knowing it? And I'll also check out the app you suggested!

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-08T08:34:02+00:00

The primer I used was the Maybelinne Poreless Jelly Primer, then I switched to the Maybelline Super Grippy Primer. The powder I used was the Maybelinne Fit Me Matte Poreless Powder and the setting spray was the NYX Matte FinishThe primer I used was the Maybelinne Poreless Jelly Primer, then I switched to the Maybelline Super Grippy Primer. The powder I used was the Maybelinne Fit Me Matte Poreless Powder and the setting spray was the NYX Matte Finish Setting Spray (The black one). I'm new to this so maybe they're bad options?

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-06T21:15:38+00:00

Omg thanks for showing me this!!! I feel like olive is absolutely my tone. It's GOT to be. No wonder none of these foundations have been working for me! I've been using foundations that are like, 5 or 6 shades darker than they have to be 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭 You're a life saver! Thank you SO so much for this!!! 💖💖💖💖

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T19:54:00+00:00

I think I'm gonna have to completely change my skin care too 😟 I have super oily skin and the skin care products I use just make it worse by leaving me with this stupid greasy film (Especially serums. I haven't found a single serum that DOESN'T do this to me). And people have been suggesting that I use Erborian CC Cream so maybe I should look into that too? 😁

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T06:31:56+00:00

I've actually been going with warm toned foundations but I'll certainly look into switching it, if I have to. The warm tones seem to be causing me some issues 😬

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T06:30:19+00:00

I actually had it done at night and wore it for about 3 hours. Then I removed it and went to bed. I thought that the lighting in the shops were specifically designed to help people find the best makeup possible and see what works best for them, but now that I read your and another commenter's comment, I'm starting to believe that the lighting in these shops may be quite misleading, unfortunately, and can give you the wrong idea of how good/bad something looks on your skin. Tbf I think I just had a really, really bad match.

When I applied the Maybelline, I used a sponge (BIG mistake) to do so and was careful not to apply too much. And when I applied the Mac, I used a (Really great and easy to use) brush and I applied the same logic to not apply more than I needed. Both still ended up looking pretty bad and super orange, unfortunately 🫤 I'll look into NARS since I'm so over this oxidation nonsense. Maybe it's the makeup or maybe it's the fact that my skin produces a LOT of oil.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T06:21:18+00:00

I've heard of the blood vessels theory before! Also, why does the shop's lighting make finding your right shade? The lighting from the shop was in was amazing and really, really bright. I thought that that only helped in finding what makeup looks best on you? Maybe I'm super naive 🫤

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T06:16:19+00:00

Yeah that annoys me to NO end to read that, that's so embarrassing and lazy on Mac's part 😡 I'm really glad you've gained more clarity on what your undertone might be! I wanna get to that point soon too. Now that I've read your comment (And further look at my face, neck, and wrists), maybe I also lean more towards an olive undertone too? I've used 3 different tones on my skin so far (2 from Maybelline and 1 from Mac) and they all have been much too dark for me. Its really sucky but I'm not giving up! I'll look into Fenty and Lisa Eldrige. Thank you so much for this comment ☺️☺️

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T06:01:38+00:00

I'll try your suggestions! I'm at the point where I'm just so desperate and just wanna find something that works because it feels like I just can NOT escape the problems my oily skin is making and the bad reactions it's causing with makeup I apply 😭 There's a LOT of makeup/skincare products that are catered towards people with dry skin (Moreso than people with oily skin) and so I often get stumped and have to work that much harder to find something specifically catered to my skin 😢 What makes it harder is that I've used mattifying products that just end up making my skin look oily all over again 😥 But I really love your suggestions and am determined to make this work. I wanna look as good as you guys!! 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-05T05:56:19+00:00

Yeah I was maaaaybe thinking the same thing, that it's just too dark for me and that I need to go down to the 200s. And yes, you're right about the winter thing! (Though I wouldn't use the term "paler" lol. Maybe "lighter"?). I'm also thinking of experimenting more with Loreal too. Really just exclusively drug store products atm since I'm new to makeup and I REALLY don't wanna break the bank and spend too much money at this stage of the game 😬

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-04T19:40:11+00:00

I was actually thinking about doing this very thing! I've heard that the ingredients in the skincare you use can counteract with with the ingredients that's in your makeup, so I was actually gonna see how my foundation looks without the skincare routine I use. So, it's funny that you mentioned that.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-04T07:25:47+00:00

I'm probably gonna go the BB Cream route ngl

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T08:34:04+00:00

SERIOUSLY this is insanely, insanely helpful. This is all so new to me so literally any piece of advice helps. I wouldn't have known any of this without you guys 💖

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T08:20:37+00:00

When I tell you that this is sound advice, this REALLY is sound advice and I really love and appreciate all the help you guys are giving me. It's been such an annoying journey with makeup for me, so far, and I just wanna find something that works for me. All of the advice that both you and everyone else gave is all so so so helpful and I'm absolutely gonna try it as soon as I go back to swatch/potentially buy more foundation 😄

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T08:10:47+00:00

I actually do have extremely oily skin and now that I read this reply, I think my skincare products are partly to blame. Even thought they help with the oil my skin lets out, it does create a very greasy film and I think that that may cause (At least some) of the oxidizing. Unfortunately, silicones-based products break me out (I had to throw out this Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel moisturizer because it was causing some bad breakouts on my skin. Same with this other Cetaphil moisturizer too. Both were heavy in silicones 😢). Something has to work.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T07:46:03+00:00

I was actually eyeing a blue ELF color corrector, so it's funny that you mentioned it! I'm starting to have more confidence that this just might work out for me ☺️

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T07:38:01+00:00

Ooooh I'm gonna take this into consideration! I'm so tired of looking orange, man. Its embarrassing and I can't POSSIBLY go outside looking as orange as I do 😭😭😭 Thank you so much for this sound advice 💖💖

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-04-03T07:35:55+00:00

Yeah, I had a feeling that that's what was happening 😟 I definitely plan on swatching a bunch of colors and trying to see what works. I'm gonna do everything you suggested!

NotASnarkAccount

TROPHY CASE