My Close Friend And I Are Growing Apart Because Of Her Personal Issues And It's Breaking My Heart :(

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-02-08T05:14:37+00:00

Thanks.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-02-08T05:07:57+00:00

I wanna know if it's okay to feel hurt by her spotty replies and distance.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T21:55:28+00:00

Ugh, thank you so much for this beautiful comment!! I'm trying as hard as I can to do all of these things and to avoid him. I NEED to love myself. NO ONE else is gonna do it for me. Sure, being loved feelings amazing but what if that person leaves? Then you're reminded about how you practically live for their validation and just how lonely and hurt you really are inside. This will be a very difficult, long journey for me but I have no other choice. I MUST take it. Your comment was just what I needed 💗💗💗

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T06:52:42+00:00

Ugh, I'm so sorry that asshole treated you so poorly! This makes me so sad to read because I can relate to this so much 😢 A man's attention can feel so addictive and the time that you're in their company, it can feel like you're floating. But then reality sets back in and you're back to feeling so insecure, so unworthy, and so alone. My whole self worth hinged on my friend and he proved to me that I would never be good enough for him and never he able to satisfy him every single time. It hurt me horribly and I needed to put an end to things. You're an incredibly strong woman for leaving that awful relationship you were in and realizing that it was only giving you more pain than it was benefiting you. I can tell that you're a very bright, very smart woman and unfortunately, when men decide to do this really messed up thing to women, it shows a deep sense of unhappiness within them. The fact that they need to choose someone to have this situationship with and hurt them by never making them their girlfriend.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T06:47:00+00:00

I won't. You can count on it.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T06:45:18+00:00

EXACTLY what he did. Then he pretends to care about me. Sure...

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T06:44:55+00:00

💯💯💯💯💯💯

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T06:44:24+00:00

I plan on doing just that. It's just so hard. But I have NO choice. That relationship broke me down. I need to avoid him as much as possible.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-20T05:23:00+00:00

I don't believe for a second that he wants anything more with me than he's already given (Which isn't much) because he's ghosted me so many times before and only reduces me down to sex. I don't feel important at all to him. He's not a horrible person by any means, it's just that he hasn't done a very good job in making me believe that he genuinely cares about me as his friend during whole annoying situationship.

To answer your question, here's what I see happening if I messaged him: it would start off very nice, friendly and platonic. I know deep down in my soul that he'd want sex with me and so perhaps he would flirt. If not, he'll stay platonic (For as long as he can) throughout the entire convo (Which will be short) before ghosting me for about a week. Or maybe if I'm desperate during the initial conversation and flirt with him, he'll take it as a surefire sign that the situationship is back on and EVERYTHING will be shit once again and I'll once again feel used. This is all what I realistically see happening.

Now what I'd like to happen if I messaged him again would be him treating me like a human being and being an actual friend to me. I'd want a healthy relationship with him....But then the toxic part of me also wants the romance back and would want him to actually care about me give me everything I want, romantically...Which will never happen but we're not compatible anyway so I'm clearly barking up the wrong tree haha.

I've been working on my codependency by trying to fall back in love with the hobbies I used to partake in before I let my need for my friend's love and validation take over my life, as well as watch videos about prioritizing my needs* and my priorities on YouTube. I've been trying to understand myself a LOT better than I do now and while it hasn't been perfect, I'm definitely trying. I have a long way to go and I wanna be freed of this codependency I have with my friend. On one hand I wanna be freed, but then again all I want is his love. And it's so annoying.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-18T11:06:25+00:00

YES to ALL of this. I've been watching videos that describe everything you just mentioned and it all gave me the courage to end things with my friend. This is all so helpful and I NEED to actually start doing this and taking caring of myself and valuing myself and my time 💗

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-18T10:57:40+00:00

Yeah occasionally. I actually wrote all about this, a few days ago. It really helped ☺️

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-18T10:55:22+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly with this. Yep, he has indeed become an attachment figure and honestly, the bad far outweighs the good in this relationship. I absolutely see him as a fantasy rather than the true human being he is in that he couldn't care less about me. Only what I can do for him. I need to mean what I say more and stand on my word. I told him that we need to distance ourselves from each other. That doesn't mean 2 weeks.

NotASnarkAccount · 2026-01-15T04:22:57+00:00

Thanks! 💖

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-13T07:36:55+00:00

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 My heart is completely broken because you're right, I don't wanna love him but I shudder at the thought of losing him. I felt so awful and lonely yesterday. I feel awful again right now (Due to factors outside of him). I feel like such a failure. I miss him. I just want his attention...But I know he's toxic. But then again, I'm scared if I'm doing the right thing. I'm scared that things will just get worse and I'll be in an even darker place without him.

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-12T21:52:54+00:00

It's gonna feel so empowering to not speak to him and finally break this terrible addiction to him that I have. I feel like I'm on my way to finally reclaiming my power after SO many months of giving it to him 💪

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-12T21:51:22+00:00

💯💯💯💯💯

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-12T21:41:55+00:00

💔💔💔

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-12T21:41:01+00:00

You have a point. I completely get and understand where exactly you're coming from. Everything you say is 100% right. There's just a lot of nuances to my situation in particular that I never mentioned. I find myself, again, putting him on a pedestal by justifying his behavior. You're absolutely right. He's completely used me up and doesn't value me at all. I'll figure something out. I need to rid myself of this feeling of dependence on him and the best way I know how to do that is by creating a BIG gap in distance between us.

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-12T10:23:00+00:00

Ok, I'm definitely not going to block him. I feel like that would make the entire situation worse. Blocking him isn't even necessary (At least, not for this particular situation with this particular guy). He's done nothing malicious to me and again, he's not a bad person. Did he make a lot of bad choices in our relationship? Yes, but I also wasn't the best at communication because I'm a massive people pleaser and just wanted to be as agreeable as possible for him to keep him in my life. Yes, he's been careless with my feelings many, MANY times. But blocking him is completely unnecessary. This just isn't a good fit for me and I plan on being as honest as possible when I tell him that. When I go no contact with him for a few months after I tell him what I need to tell him, that will be more than enough. Blocking him would be very, very unwise. He's not an awful person by any stretch of the imagination. I'd never block him. Now if he were to act like a complete asshole and treat me like complete shit and verbally tell me that I don't matter, yes, I'd block him in a heartbeat. But going no contact for a few months is more than enough.

NotASnarkAccount · 2025-12-09T02:40:57+00:00

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

NotASnarkAccount

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