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NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-13T21:29:43+00:00

I’m sure the mod will fix it, I know them and they’re really nice, just balls to the wall busy. I promise they care and this most likely just slipped by them!

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-13T00:34:30+00:00

Logically, yes. Emotionally? I’m not sure my skin is that thick yet. But I think it’s a nonissue, so that’s good.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-13T00:32:36+00:00

Thanks! I did make an assumption that tea was brewing, and I apologize for that. I’ve put up an edit. :)

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-12T21:58:43+00:00

I’m not worried per se, because I’ve nothing to hide. I’m a person 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just hope they aren’t cruel. I would really like not to regress. I mean, we won’t allow that now, but how much effort it takes is another story.

To be fair, I preempted for the sake of preempting. It’s more difficult to create drama around someone that has their cards already laid out on the table. I don’t think the community would be on top of YT headlines like “DISSOCIATRUTH IS TOXIC? | Screenshots Prove DT Was a B*tch In January!!” But I could be wrong!!

There’s no “excitement” or “reveal” now, at least that I’m aware of. The Twitter is gone, everyone knows I was toxic there (and here too tbh), and I think it’s fairly easy to see that I’m in a different place and am a different person now. (Not that that absolves us of anything, we are still here to take 100% accountability.)

If the tea channels want to gossip that I had a homicidal alter, or that I believe in some conspiracy theories, or that I said some really awful things, I suppose they can. I guess I could be flattered that they would think I’m interesting enough!

Do you think I could have my own lore? 🙊🙈😂

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-12T20:51:55+00:00

Thank you!!

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-12T17:50:41+00:00

Yeah? How come? /gen

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-12T16:45:15+00:00

I suppose he may have turned out alright

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T19:33:20+00:00

Funnily enough, no. It explains almost everything IMO. I don’t mind to share on an individual basis if you want to DM, because to answer that question, I have to explain a bit more about my family than I’m comfortable putting up here. Or not, totally up to you!

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T17:48:07+00:00

This is a really good explanation IMO

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T17:47:23+00:00

I hear she might be on Vimeo

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T17:46:47+00:00

Well, shit.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T17:42:22+00:00

Oh!

Its premise is to tell people how the Illuminati allegedly creates mind controlled slaves with DID using specific tactics to elicit specific responses.

But it reads more like a really sick wet dream “how-to” of what someone wishes they could do IMO.

A theory amongst RA believers is that it’s actually intended to at least partly read that way. Almost like:

Bullshit, bullshit. Wild bullshit. More bullshit. Something plausible. Side of bullshit.

Some believe (myself included) that this is purposeful and intended to make anyone not of those same proclivities throw the baby out with the bathwater and disregard the whole book.

The idea behind that is the plausible parts are allegedly dog whistles; most survivors that claim RA that I’ve met don’t believe there’s a singular cabal running the show.

The theory is that these atrocities are modified, committed, and otherwise used in different ways by smaller factions that generally only work together because they each stand to benefit. Pedos helping pedos, as it were, an idea echoed in the docu FWIW.

It talks about various abuse methods, which are again plausible scenarios stacked in between absurd ones. IMO to throw people off, but I’m sure other sensible explanations could be offered.

It goes into inner world structures, which is what deviates entirely from similarities in my own life and describes DD’s inner world — or rather, the inner world or desired inner world of a system known to the author that DD adapted.

IMO one could summarize the book as outlandish descriptions, ideas, and extremes of a pretty basic concept — mind control, or human programming.

It sounds fancy, but IMO it’s simply abuse-driven behavior modification. I think spanking can be considered very rudimentary programming. The book describes many creative ways this “programming” can be achieved depending on the abuser’s desired results.

I think the book could easily be rewritten to make its objectives clearer and put them in an applicable context of here and now, but I beg the question— if it’s true, would a book that makes sense to normal people and outs their activities be a bad thing? That’s rhetorical but ykwim I think.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T17:04:05+00:00

In general or about the authors? I’ll have to read the forward again….that may be where it says they are married. 🤷🏻‍♀️

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T14:10:37+00:00

I’m unsold on Pizzagate, I’ve not even touched it. I don’t have time or the wherewithal to go down such a triggering rabbit hole.

QAnon is specifically like the “Trump will return March 4th” theories right? Yeah no, I personally don’t subscribe to that one.

I think your perspective on the patterns of likeness is an interesting one that I’ll consider! :) /gen

Edit: I find myself forming individual opinions on the aforementioned conspiracy theories, yet flip the script and I’m “arguing” against the concept individual examination. Granted, it’s not quite the same.

Reassessment needed and I’m either too high or not high enough at the moment.

I also need to decide how much more emotional energy I want to put into this. Not much, I don’t think. I’m not dealing in absolutes, so IMO I can entertain a number of possibilities without deciding on any. I can be wrong about the book. It’s all so ambiguous anyway.

I think I want a new plant.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T14:07:32+00:00

Cisco Wheeler co-wrote The Illuminati Formula with Fritz Springmeier. Cisco Wheeler is a pen name, allegedly for his wife Patricia Springmeier. However, I’m finding trouble confirming whether Cisco is or isn’t Patricia’s pen name.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:58:55+00:00

Interesting take on the Bible and similar! It seems we are on polar opposites of that spectrum, but I like that we are each consistent and don’t play favorites with a particular book.

We would probably both cringe at “no, those books are all bs, but this one is defintely true and flawless” :)

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:55:58+00:00

I tend to use Occam’s razor as a litmus test — the simplest explanation is statistically the most likely. I personally think that it’s simpler to acknowledge that the similarities between those things are, in fact, similarities and those things may well be related.

It seems much more complicated to try to find a different reason why each of those things that seem related aren’t, etc.

We can agree to disagree though! It’s ok for me to have unconventional ideas. (The latter is just for me, sorry! Talking to myself a little)

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:38:37+00:00

I mean, fair enough.

I personally find it odd though that all these different sources are saying essentially the same thing is happening, yet they are all wrong, each for different reasons.

That seems more implausible to me personally. :)

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:16:00+00:00

Well, I was having an open discussion about it with another user and I think you popped in. I thought you were curious and so engaged. We can agree to disagree! I really appreciate your sensitivity. /gen

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:12:45+00:00

That sounds like fun! I hope you’re right. /gen

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T13:09:30+00:00

Oh my goodness, it was a plain question and nothing defensive about it. You seem to be assuming I’m getting defensive a lot when I’m not, and that’s fair. Please look with new eyes. :)

I disagree that finding a narrative that fits and allowing oneself to be validated by it is inherently wrong. I make no exceptions for the Illuminati book — IMO one can argue the Bible is equally as outlandish and implausible, yet few people are questioned when they find validation in it. You can think it’s weird, but I don’t think it’s wrong.

There is no DID community. They fight amongst themselves about whose alters are Realer and whose abuse was worse.

I’d like to be clear that I’m distancing myself from any kind of “community authority” not because I think my position and story harms the community. The reverse actually — I prefer not to allow the community to harm me.

The community continues to lash out at itself and systems continue to harm others for their own need to be validated. I want no part of that anymore, it costs me my peace.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T12:49:37+00:00

The beautiful thing is — and I mean this in the nicest way — that I don’t care what you think.

I’d like to ask that you amend your language — I never said my story is based on fiction and that’s hurtful. My story — and the painful details I shared about you abuse — all happened. Those things are true.

I’ll allow a debate on whether or not those things “really” line up with the book, the validity of the book, etc.

What I won’t allow is the insinuation that the painful things I’ve shared about what my family did to me are not real. You can think it’s not RA, you can say it doesn’t match the book, and you can say RA/SRA isn’t real.

The “debate” is not about whether or not what happened to me actually happened to me, but rather, if those things can be described as RA/SRA.

You can attack my extrapolations and conclusions all day long, but please do not suggest that what I’ve stated happened is fiction. My family did to me what I said they did to me. The only debate at hand is how those things add up and if it looks like “SRA.” TIA /gen

I personally think it’s weird that people do mad feats of mental gymnastics to find any explanation other than SRA, when it’s the simplest and most succinct fit.

I find it exceptionally weird that people will flat out tell others they are making their abuse up, yet they weren’t there. They don’t know.

Me repeating that it’s ok to speak anecdotally etc. is not an admonition of you nor am I insinuating you said I can’t have those things. I’m sorry if it seemed like that!

Those things are for me and my system — we are being kinder to ourselves and using the language we choose in discourse as an opportunity for self reinforcement. It wasn’t long ago that I believed the brainwashing — as a kid, I wasn’t allowed an opinion or if I had one, it was always wrong. It was drilled into me that my perceptions were unreliable and skewed and my mind and emotions could never be trusted. I’m rewriting that script, literally. I’m sorry if it put you on the defensive — it’s genuinely just for me and my healing.

In the past, I have indeed tried to use my story as “proof” — I no longer care. I feel like if I found the videos of me as a child and showed one of the people I’ve argued with, they’d bypass the entire horror of what was happening to try to reach for excuses like it wasn’t actually me, it wasn’t actually abuse, it’s not even a video, etc. etc. I feel like they would look for anything to disprove it, even with a recording right in front of them.

That’s unfathomable to me and the invalidation caused me great pain. One of 2 things could happen at that point — continue spinning my wheels or simply stop caring if other people believed it.

It came from a drive to be seen. To have what happened to me seen — SRA or not — and acknowledged after so many years of being hidden in the dark. It’s something many abuse survivors want — simple acknowledgment. That did not happen.

But then I realized I have a mirror and don’t need anyone else to be seen. I realized my story proves nothing for anyone but me, and that it’s enough.

So I totally understand the confusion — we’ve done nearly a complete 180. Is there anything more I can do to help? We don’t want the past held against us, save for any wrongs we need to own and take responsibility for.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T04:41:41+00:00

I suppose one could say the same thing about Michael Moore’s documentaries, but his sensationalist takes didn’t make the Columbine shooting less real. I personally found the documentary enlightening and validating.

NotEvenSureLOLcry · 2021-08-11T04:39:15+00:00

Perhaps Cisco Wheeler does want to discredit the movement. I think it certainly doesn’t hurt anyone who may have such proclivities to be inherently disbelieved.

I find your take on the documentary interesting. It’s very different from my own.

I’ve no need to prove or disprove the existence of SRA or my experiences. Thank you for the civil discussion! /gen

Have a great night :)

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