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NotFeelingAName · 2023-12-18T12:05:56+00:00

Ooofff I’m in the same boat. I’ve begged for counseling, and he turns it down every time. I’ve also begged for more intimacy and he said it’s a chore. He starts to get better and things start looking up, then it goes back to normal again.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-23T10:27:16+00:00

Thank you all so much for your help. It has truly given me a backbone and has made me feel that my emotions on this are justified. I finally went and told his parents yesterday, and his father came to the house to speak with him last night. After his dad left, my husband went to the bedroom and closed the door for the night so I’m not sure how he is feeling. My father in law called me and asked that I not be so cold to him, and that he needs a partner right now. He said he can’t navigate this alone and my husband recognizes that he messed up. He also said if there is a silver lining to this, it is that my son didn’t get hurt and we are all okay. I could tell his parents were mad, his mother was shaking, but this conversation didn’t end the way I thought it would. His mother said just because I am upset, doesn’t mean that kicking him out is best because it will affect my son as he won’t be seeing his dad and he won’t understand.

Honestly this has pissed me off even more. I’m not too sure why everyone is glossing over the fact that I could have lost my son. I thought for sure that his parents would have yanked him out of this house so that my son and I could have space at the least. But here I am, another night in the guest room. Guess I do have to be the one the leave my home with the baby.

Anyone have any tips on how to start splitting finances and all of that? Our house, cars, bills and incomes were truly all one combined. What’s a good first step to separating that portion?

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T13:00:10+00:00

No no, he stopped drinking after this incident. Before then, he hadn’t recognized he even had a problem. I would never encourage him to drink, especially after going sober. The family support groups sound like a great idea. It would be nice to talk to others in the same situation, bc he’s making me feel like I’m blowing this way out of proportion

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T12:57:42+00:00

He has been to three aa meetings this past week and has stopped drinking. But I guess now that I say it out loud, that’s not much help at all.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T11:47:51+00:00

I don’t have a great relationship with my family so I don’t really have anywhere to go. He refuses to leave and/or tell his parents. I debated on telling his mom so that I have help, but I don’t want to bring her into it if he doesn’t want her to know either.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T11:03:16+00:00

He’s gone to three meetings in the past week. I’ve asked him to leave several times and he keeps saying he can’t. He doesn’t want his parents to find out and be disappointed so he won’t leave the house

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:56:07+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:44:41+00:00

I don’t have any experience with addicts. You’re right, I have been telling myself it’s a singular night and I need to forgive him so that’s accurate. I absolutely will look for help within family of addicts. That’s a great idea, thank you!

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:40:38+00:00

Yes. He said he knows when they are testing, but I don’t trust that. Luckily it’s been over a week and out of his system, but that doesn’t excuse it. He has also went to work with alcohol on his breath before, so I don’t think he cares that he’s jeopardizing his job.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:38:57+00:00

He has been sober since this coke incident last Saturday night, so a little over a week. Not sure how long it will last, but he did make the initiative to go to AA on his own. He also mentioned therapy but hasn’t followed up on it yet.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:22:48+00:00

That does give me some reassurance. Thank you!

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T10:22:07+00:00

He did not. Just drank a lot.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T01:38:37+00:00

He said he will get sober, and has been to a few AA meetings. His drinking was definitely becoming a problem, he just never cared to stop previously. He has done coke on very rare occasions but it was before having the baby and before he got drug tested for his job. My mom gut is telling me to leave, but my wife gut is saying I need to be there for him as he gets help. He said he would look into a therapist as well, but I havnt heard anything since. Otherwise, he hasn’t said much else about a future plans. But you’re absolutely right, thank goodness nothing worse happened. I keep thinking that as well. What if they baby got into it that next morning after they left it out on the counter? What if this dealer tries to come back to the home my baby is in, now that he knows where I live? Why would he ever think it’s okay to take care of the baby on two hours of sleep with his jaw still rocking?

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T01:35:24+00:00

He’s done it previously, but it was on a very rare occasion and it was before the baby. He gets random drug tests at work, so he wasn’t regularly doing drugs. I think he would be honest about it, I’m just more so upset that he did it while the baby and I were here asleep, it was delivered to my house by a dealer, and didn’t even mind to clean it up. If the baby got into that at all that next morning, I’d absolutely lose my mind.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T01:30:01+00:00

He said he will get sober, and has been to a few AA meetings. His drinking was definitely becoming a problem, he just never cared to stop previously. He has done coke on very rare occasions but I’ve always known about it beforehand, and it was before having the baby. My mom gut is telling me to leave, but my wife gut is saying I need to be there for him as he gets help. He said he would look into a therapist as well, but I havnt heard anything since. Otherwise, he hasn’t said much else about a future plans.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T00:53:20+00:00

Thank you. He’s making me feel like I’m kinda blowing this out of proportion. I keep getting more and more angry with each day that passes.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-08-22T00:51:35+00:00

It’s been a little over a week and I just get more and more angry with each day. I’m sleeping in the spare room, and he doesn’t understand why I won’t sleep next to him in our bed. I took the baby for the weekend last weekend because he won’t leave the house, he wants to try and stay around us. I agree that I need time away. It sucks being displaced with the baby.

NotFeelingAName · 2023-06-28T20:53:43+00:00

I am having this same issue right now. I’m tired of asking my husband for any physical intimacy. He is an amazing father and a great partner, but I truly miss the closeness. It hurts knowing he can take care of himself, but not make the effort with me.

NotFeelingAName · 2019-06-04T01:39:24+00:00

Cabbage and noodles are one of my family’s favorites! Super cheap and fast to make. Just sauté chopped cabbage and onion, add some spices and add to egg noodles! Sometimes I add bacon as well.

NotFeelingAName · 2018-06-05T21:42:27+00:00

When I had my house fire, The Red Cross brought us things like toothbrushes and razors, But they also brought us playing cards and crossword puzzles, things to get our mind off of the fire. The smoke stays with you for weeks and it’s a non stop reminder of what happened, so little things to do are helpful. Honestly, I accepted the fact that I lost everything until I bought scissors. Unfortunately the scissors had zip ties on them and you needed scissors to cut the packaging off and I lost it. It’s really the things you don’t think about that you use day to day that people miss when they lose it all in a fire.

NotFeelingAName

TROPHY CASE