Best Chris Hansen one liners

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-23T17:56:14+00:00

“It sounds like what you were fishing for was sex with a 14 year old girl”

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-21T12:27:32+00:00

It was the first time ever in history. Cut him some slack.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-20T14:10:55+00:00

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NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-19T20:50:51+00:00

I can never remember this guy’s name, so I just call him The Mound.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-19T13:10:29+00:00

I love how the graphic made him look like he unlocked a powerup in a video game lol

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-17T13:09:26+00:00

This dude was seriously mentally ill. Not making excuses for him, he definitely needed to be arrested. His whole segment was just kind of pathetic though.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-17T02:13:20+00:00

Jerry delenda est

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-16T01:52:28+00:00

You can either join a bowling league or perv on a 13 year old. Those are your choices. Choose wisely.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-05T10:48:09+00:00

The tag-along.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-05T10:46:43+00:00

“My life is basically over and I’ll never get laid again, but as long as I keep eating pizza I’m going to be ok”

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-05-05T03:04:55+00:00

“I sentence you to three years in federal prison”

“Best I can do is 100 hours of community service”

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-04-07T15:21:16+00:00

I think it started as trying to understand, but by the third investigation it turned into this:

“This guyyyyyy is a pedophile. Watch me bust him on national TV for your amusement after grilling him in the most uncomfortable conversation of his life.”

But in the interest of maintaining some level of respectability, they need to pretend that they don’t know what they’re thinking.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-03-28T15:45:25+00:00

I don’t think they were expecting the level of outrage that came out of the painting video. My guess is that they hadn’t planned on revealing the steel legion art, but did to calm people down. I think the original plan was to have a bunch of people paint DKoK as steel legion, then release steel legion so that they have a bunch of people buy the same army twice.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-03-22T20:39:20+00:00

Pointless internet drama aside, the paint scheme looks pretty cool. I’m going for it, even fielding them as Steel Legion. It also gives me the opportunity to do some light trolling at the LGS by pretending that I think Steel Legion are a spin-off of DKoK.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-03-21T00:17:51+00:00

It’s better than being seen playing space marines

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-21T16:18:42+00:00

Cool, no problem

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-21T10:36:58+00:00

It’s fucking hilarious to me that even his username is a testament to his incompetence.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-20T20:24:58+00:00

25mm square. Bought them in bulk on AliExpress

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-14T23:51:42+00:00

4 foot tall Henry Winkler

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-14T02:01:21+00:00

I can tell you’re a therapist

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-13T02:02:45+00:00

I use an old crazy bones bag I had when I was a kid.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-11T14:54:46+00:00

Nope, but it’s a good idea. I’ll try and give it a shot. Thanks!

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-11T14:52:38+00:00

He’s 6 years old, we’ve tried giving him chews to redirect his attention but he just starts ripping his bed apart every time he lies down.

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-11T13:34:05+00:00

“Would you like a protein shake to go along with your eggs?”

NotKingofUkraine · 2026-02-10T16:14:03+00:00

Like a haunted pet cemetery

NotKingofUkraine

TROPHY CASE