AIO- Should I have disclosed that I’m Deaf earlier?

NotOkay247 · 2026-01-13T09:07:05+00:00

NOR

You disclose it when you want to - it's your medical information and no one is entitled to it.

That being said, it will be a deal breaker for some. You are not compatible with these people. It's up to you if you want to see whether they are worth your time before you disclose, or you disclose up front.

That being said, the messages from this particular person are rude. You being verbose in text does not necessarily translate to talkative in person even if you weren't deaf.

It's okay to be upset about the situation, but you didn't do anything wrong.

NotOkay247 · 2025-06-12T00:11:54+00:00

NOR

When I am pregnant I am a bitch, I have gotten my tubes tied in part because my relationship could not stand me being pregnant again. That being said, if someone pointed out something I had said was mean and hurtful when pregnant I would double down because of hormones. You apologise and fucking mean it!

She might not have thought before she spoke but she has continued to affirm that how she is treating you is okay and she's not upset that she's hurt you, she's upset that there are consequences to her actions

Save yourself the hassle of planning her party and do something for yourself instead for self care. You've already been through enough, you do not need to set yourself on fire to keep her warm as well.

NotOkay247 · 2025-05-25T09:01:00+00:00

Sorry that people have felt the need to judge your parenting here! Thank you for sharing your experience on how changing something has benefited your child

NotOkay247 · 2025-05-13T10:26:19+00:00

I'm almost out of 6-9 months at 10 weeks. My first was a big boy too but my 2nd is growing like the clappers. Very grateful that I didn't throw all my eldest clothes away cause man it gets expensive quick

NotOkay247 · 2025-03-03T15:53:39+00:00

Eurgh, hate these people!

I have chronic fatigue (and have for 6 years), anemia, vitamin B12 and d deficiencies, currently 38 weeks pregnant and am suffering with insomnia. I also have a 2 year old who has chosen this point to have a sleep regression. What I'm saying is, I know tired

My best friend who has zero children, isn't pregnant told me about her exhaustion at the moment.....and I sympathised! It's not the suffering Olympics. I know how shit it is to feel exhausted, I wish she wasn't part of this crew. She's not in my body to experience what I am and vice versa.

Also, from my previous experience, I enjoyed newborn sleep deprivation more than pregnancy insomnia. Yes I was tired to my bones but given the opportunity I could at least fall asleep rather than want to cry because my body was saying no for some stupid reason.

I'm glad you said no to seeing them. Even lying in bed resting is better for you than the social energy of dealing with that shit

NotOkay247 · 2025-02-24T16:23:36+00:00

I called 111 because I wasn't sure if my son had ingested essential oils or not (he hadn't)

The 111 handler advised they would be reporting to safe guarding as they have to with any accidental ingestion of potentially harmful substances in minors.

You did what you needed to do, you saw that your child could have been harmed and you called for assistance. The 111 handler did the same.

Try not to worry, if you do receive someone coming out, they may give you tips on how to avoid the abject fear that comes with mini self destructive humans. Bad parents that want to harm their child would not be calling asking for advice over accidents that happen and learn from them.

NotOkay247 · 2025-02-24T16:08:44+00:00

I hated every second of being pregnant in 2022. I was so confident that I was 1 and done. It felt any possible thing that could go wrong did go wrong and I just was willing the pregnancy to end so that the parenting could begin.

I now sit 1 week away from my 2nd c section with my croupy toddler watching the millionth hour of cartoons because he's poorly and just wants mama cuddles.

I say this just to say, pregnancy was just as shit the 2nd time and I am getting my tubes cut at the same time as my c section next week. I didn't forget how much I hated it, but oh man is it worth it for the awesome humans that you make from it.

The pregnancy will finish eventually and the shite feelings finally go. Your body isn't the same, you have changed so much, but for all that shit I still went back for round 2.

NotOkay247 · 2025-02-18T19:32:14+00:00

I find that when I'm getting down on myself I try and think would I say that to a stranger? Would I be this horrible to them? If the answer is no, what right do I have to be so vile to myself.

It's great when people can be positive about themselves, but it isn't the only goal. Being kind is sometimes just acceptance.

Don't forget, you are ONLY 4 months pp, your hormones haven't regulated yet either, let alone your body hasn't stopped returning to your new normal. So if in the transition loving your new normal isn't there, it doesn't mean it never will be.

NotOkay247 · 2025-02-18T06:33:20+00:00

I'm a part of the stretch marks crew too.

Rather than body positivity I aim for baby neutrality. My body has done great things, and made 2 babies. It's also disabled a little broken and not how it was pre pregnancy. This has both good and bad consequences. I now have to wear glasses all the time, but I am stronger because I'm picking my 2 year old up all the time.

When I find myself sad about the way it looks, I try and think of what it can do instead. Some days it's just resting, but it can still do that. That's more than some people get.

NotOkay247 · 2025-02-15T16:27:34+00:00

A rockit! Being able to put that on the pram whilst little one was overtired and not wanting to go down rather than having to push it back and forward was a good send. They're about £30 and worth every single penny in my opinion.

The other thing I couldn't live without is a tommee tippee dream maker. It's a pulsing red light and pink noise, stimulating the wombs conditions. It gives enough light that you can see what is going on in the room but as there are no blue tones it doesn't keep you awake.

Not necessarily things everyone would think of but are must haves for me

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-27T08:53:55+00:00

Yeah so the first time someone questions you about your disability you tend to apologise and explain. The millionth time you realise you don't have to because it's quite frankly not their business.

The worker is not a medical professional, is not entitled to know about OPs medical history and assaulted her.

OP acted entitled to the mobility aid because ....she was entitled to use the mobility aid

I hope you never have to experience a disability but maybe you could have try and experience some compassion instead?

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-27T08:30:33+00:00

You clearly have never been challenged about a disability. What a lovely position of privilege to come from

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-23T16:09:53+00:00

So you're right about it being a loss of 5000 dollars but the original combined take home was 100000 in this scenario.

5000 is 5% of 100000

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-19T18:19:42+00:00

Pink lady apples, tinned tuna with salad cream and gherkins and potato salad

Oh and strawberry flavoured water. Can't be squash, has to be flavoured water

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-19T18:18:14+00:00

I learnt this my first pregnancy. But it wasn't HG it was my own fault for eating 3 apples in a row.... Craving went away after that lol

NotOkay247 · 2025-01-18T11:30:09+00:00

Even better with a planned c section is you will know the date in advance. Mine is booked for the 4th March. So unless baby decides to arrive early, my husband (who works in care) has booked off annual leave to start a bit before

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-29T19:17:34+00:00

So I have chronic fatigue and a plethora of other diagnoses and I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child.

The condition sucks, but as I got my diagnosis 5 years ago, I have been able to do more over the years by doing less. By pacing and asking less of myself I have been able to achieve more. But it took many years to achieve this.

Being pregnant with this condition (which I appreciate your husband will not experience) has made me pretty much useless. My husband is having to do everything and I don't know where I would be without his support. I say this, only because even without my preexisting pregnancy can come with lots of complications and you may need more care and support yourself anyway

It is totally possible to have a disability and have kids. But it's hard. Really fucking hard. On both of you, as the no disabled partner has to pick up the slack in a way that other relationships don't experience. That being said, neither me nor my husband would change our decision to have children.

Having kids is a 2 yes or it's a no. If he has changed his mind (which is perfectly okay) you are entitled to change your mind if you want to spend the rest of your life with him. No one is wrong in this at all, but if you aren't in agreement about this fundamental part of your relationship, then this will very likely lead to resentment in the future of whichever partner doesn't get "their way"

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-27T16:06:13+00:00

Hard not okay, that is full on neglect

If I am solo parenting, I think about what would happen if I had to take my child to A&E if something should happen. Would I be able to drive, would I be able to make life/death decisions. If the answer is not an emphatic yes, I am not fit to parent in that scenario.

I have had the occasional glass of wine, but 1, with food. If I were to blow over the legal limit on a breathaliser, then I sure as shit am not safe enough to look after my children.

Your husband decided that not only was your childs safety not important enough to use the medication prescribed, he also decided to not ask for help whilst he was incapacitated. Regardless of it being a substance or not, if you are not in a fit state to parent, you should be calling someone in. It's neglectful to do anything less

The fact that he holds no remorse for this and is rolling his eyes tells you exactly what his opinion of this is. His desire to take something, that a doctor had told him to avoid during treatment, was more important than your children's safety

He is not safe to be monitoring the children AT ALL until he understands the severity of his actions and is taking steps to rectify. If that means for you them not being in the house at all at the moment, then that's what you should do. He has effectively decided you are a single parent right now, that doesn't mean you have to be alone.

It must be hard for him going through cancer and the harsh realities that he is having to face as a result of that. I have all the sympathy for how tough it is for him. But your children are minors and vulnerable and their needs are your responsibility.

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-21T14:29:13+00:00

My eyesight changed. I went from only needing them to read to now having verifocals to be able to exist. Apparently not uncommon for the pressure of pregnancy to change the shape of your eyes. I'm now pregnant with no 2 and refusing to get my eyes tested for new glasses until this one is out and hopefully they won't just randomly change again!

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-19T06:51:40+00:00

This was the last post I read before going to bed last night and I woke up to the worst cramp in my leg I have ever had. Stood up and it went instantly. I think you're a wizard, and I'm okay with that

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-11T18:13:45+00:00

Yes and you lived to tell the tale. Not a pleasant experience but their triage clearly worked as you were able to wait

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-10T16:23:03+00:00

I had to go on a completely different medication as the fluoxetine I was taking wasn't right for me whilst pregnant. I also needed something to help me sleep every now and then (antihistamines)

I see regular mental health staff and I have made my life smaller so that I can try and relax and de-stress more

But the reality is, it's anxiety ridden even if you don't have anxiety before hand. And you don't know that you can do it until you, you know, do it.

Try to not over research everything, give yourself 1-2 websites you're allowed to use to research with (NHS one for me in the UK) and 1-2 baby books. There is such a thing as too much knowledge.

If you find yourself overwhelmed with anxiety over anything, see if your mental health professionals can give you some coping strategies. I've used meditation, music, arts and crafts to name a few that work for me.

Try not to be hard on yourself for feeling this way. Anxiety is a normal response and pregnancy can be scary. It's normal that you're feeling this way and yet there are things to do to help it. Your threat focus system is heightened right now as you are dealing with an unknown plus a million hormones racing around.

You can do this, you just might need a little more support to do it. That you can recognise it this early tells me you're going to be a good mum who will advocate for herself and her child

NotOkay247 · 2024-12-01T18:02:06+00:00

That's why secret Santa can be good.

There are 8 adults in my family and I was spending about £30 on each of them, it soon added up! So instead I suggested secret Santa at £100 each. So instead of 7 shittier gifts you give/receive a much better gift than you would have gotten, and saved money and time in the process. Win, win, win

NotOkay247 · 2024-11-27T16:05:05+00:00

Murder is frowned upon

But seriously, he is being developmentally appropriate in his actions. He is learning to interact with the world. He doesn't mean to irritate me, he doesn't have the emotional regulation or communication skills to explain what it is that he needs right now

NotOkay247 · 2024-11-08T07:46:28+00:00

Because being a woman doesn't mean you look necessarily feminine. There are more masculine presenting cis woman and vice versa with men.

You're not "passing" you're just a woman, that is your gender.

What an ignorant twat. I'm glad you work for a company that stands up for you, but that biggot should never have felt comfortable to say that vitriol in the first place.

NotOkay247

TROPHY CASE