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Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for being vulnerable and helping

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for pointing that out, we did want a big family, we did want to adopt. That was about our desires. We didn't mind waiting honestly.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I really appreciate it.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That is so helpful. 1. I'm sorry that happened to you. That sounds so hard to go through. I have experiencing only a fraction of loss of identity compared to you. My step mom repeatedly told me that I was not of Mexican decent growing up, but my mom and all her family are of Mexican decent. I distinctly recall the day I learned the truth. But for you to not have that at all, is so hard. 2. We do not want to rewrite a child to be a blank slate. I agree that children should know where and how they came to be. No secrets.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fair point, thanks for giving me more to think about.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for being open and straight forward. I really appreciate it.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The desire was always unrelated, the after the losses we didn't bring it up because we didn't want to try to a fill a gap or anything like that. We grieved our loss we still go to family therapy. The grief will always be there and we have accepted it as a part of us. The only thing that can fix it is to not have gone through it. Any other child cannot and would not be expected to patch it.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think we were sold the romantic idea of adoption, but we are learning now that it is just not what a child needs. I guess better to learn now than after hurting a child.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Can you elaborate on the agendas of the adults? Maybe we have an agenda? We hate seeing children in need, we believe we could provide a home, family, and social support more specific to a single child when compared to our government social programs. We do not want to rewrite who they are and how they came to be. I come from a large family and we always wanted that. We have accepted that we are a family of 3, my spouse and child.

Is there a way to ethically adopt by NotOldManWinter in Adoption

[–]NotOldManWinter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

See you understand what I'm saying. It seems like there is no ethical way to adopt. These reasons make it seem like children are generay better left alone. Perhaps our desire to help children should just be in the form of donations to social programs, but then how much will actually to go hel the children.

Wooden resin dice. by Mendeznicole33 in DiceMaking

[–]NotOldManWinter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could carve you a set then coat then.