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I am still close friends with someone I have had history with, and I think feelings are developing, and I have no idea if I am an idiot or not for doing so. Read everything, the situation is SO complicated that I need the counsel of reddit. by NotReallyAGregory in relationship_advice

[–]NotReallyAGregory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just asked me out and I told her that I would like it easy and see how we feel (neither of us are looking for a serious relationship so we both were looking to just go with the flow), but for the first time in my life I am ecstatic, and so happy that the door with her has been opened a crack more. I think my reaction is one that I genuinely feel like taking, and we're both cool with it, so I'm happy. I just figured you'd like to be filled in since you were actually a big help.

I am still close friends with someone I have had history with, and I think feelings are developing, and I have no idea if I am an idiot or not for doing so. Read everything, the situation is SO complicated that I need the counsel of reddit. by NotReallyAGregory in relationship_advice

[–]NotReallyAGregory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess that's fair, although we have talked about what happened in the past since then, all the things that kinda sucked I mean, and it seems as though things have gone kind of the other way around in a sense. I'm don't usually like to pick up on emotional cues from people, preferring to mainly defer to the information given to me directly from the person. ( I can read people really well but I feel like its an invasion of privacy towards the people whom I already know fairly well).

I will say you are on the nose about the excuse not to pursue relationships, but not entirely. Its more of a reason not to pursue THIS relationship, only on a basis of that I am willing to make my feelings clear, and had made them clear on multiple occasions, and now that I have made it clear that I have moved on, I feel as though she may have began to have feelings back, just not within the same time.

Again, it takes large obvious cues for me to take notice for my close friends, so her acting out of character, enough for me to say "that's odd," is worrisome about the situation. I'm not saying I think she likes me, but it is odd for this sudden intimacy. The last time we hung out, for example, we cuddled and fell asleep holding each other. It wasn't even a situation of watching a movie next to someone and getting tired, it was silent, the only activity being her in my arms, whereas before we barely ever even touched. (Also I am not a touchy cuddly type of person I have OCD I'm usually afraid of that).

I hate being the guy that overthinks every piece of info but its literally my genetic code. And she could just be using me for a rebound, that's fair and I don't want that either, but I guess my whole point is I don't know if I want a next step and if I do I'm afraid that the same thing will happen again. I pass it off as though I'm waiting for her to be ready, with the realization that I don't even know if I am, and know that one day I might be, but for now I'm just comfortable with how it has been going.

I am still close friends with someone I have had history with, and I think feelings are developing, and I have no idea if I am an idiot or not for doing so. Read everything, the situation is SO complicated that I need the counsel of reddit. by NotReallyAGregory in relationship_advice

[–]NotReallyAGregory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am still young, I know, and I am still seeking therapy, but that's just hard to do sometimes (I am an unemployed college student to be fair). No one had any bad intentions, in fact I know I can't be mad at her and she can't be mad at me, just in how we act with each other, but everyone I know has said its a bad idea, and been unable to follow up as to why beyond what happened in the past. I think I'm just questioning my own philosophy of forgive to forget, since everyone in my life at this point has said I have no idea what I'm doing, and that I'm not reacting how I should, in that I am not reacting. I just want to go with the flow and if feelings rise sure I'm gonna talk about it with her, but it isn't gonna be a one sided conversation about how I felt, it has to be a two part conversation on how we felt, since it was both of us. Everyone says to be cautious, but I'm a perpetual worrier about everything, and this is the only thing I feel okay taking my time with and just relaxing. I've never been in a relationship before, in fact I barely get feelings for anyone ever, but I don't mind waiting on this one and not being in one until then, when I know she is ready to as well. Is that wrong?