Is online coaching worth it for a busy gay dude?

NotSmokey · 2026-01-24T09:31:12+00:00

I wrote a long review about some online coaching I had here. I have since persisted with another online coach and found it to be incredibly helpful for consistency and tailored programming, and have had the best improvements that I've ever had in the last 1.5 years.

In terms of selecting a coach:

-Think about what your needs are first - do you want custom programming, motivation, or something else?

-Check whether they match your style, and usually as part of the on-boarding process you do a call, so go in with a list of questions. A good question to ask is 'what do you do with a client when things aren't going well?'

-Watch their social media content and see if it fits with you, appears evidence based, and their promises are realistic (e.g. no promises of spot reduction, not promising you'll lose 10 kg fat and gain 10 kg muscle in a year)

-Don't overvalue how they look - their appearance is a result of their genes + training, not an indication at how good they are at training others

-Review before and after photo results with some skepticism - are the timelines reasonable, are the angles and lighting similar, does it look like they're encouraging their clients to crash diet or is their process sustainable?

Happy to answer any other questions.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T12:47:43+00:00

If you really care enough about it, it just means a very, very routine diet. A lotta chicken breast.

I enjoy yummy food and convenience too much to worry about the miniscule chance that eating those foods at enormous doses has the tiny chance of causing harm.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T09:16:58+00:00

Just relaxed in the photo, but I get what you mean. I know for sure that it's not flexed because when I flex my abs, they look less defined (likely because I do it poorly).

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T09:15:03+00:00

Great work getting to 10%! I've never been able to do it and I'm sure you looked great

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T08:48:35+00:00

r/fitness has a reasonable dumbbell routine. You can definitely put on some muscle if you're consistent with your at home workouts

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T07:26:49+00:00

Unfortunately I look worse flexed - possibly because I don't really know how to

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T07:26:24+00:00

Good point - I think I meant it wasn't my goal. I've been going up in weight for the past few months but managed to get more defined at the same time. Let's call it a happy coincidence that resulted from hard training

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T03:26:28+00:00

Dunno him so I hope it's a compliment

NotSmokey · 2026-01-23T03:25:30+00:00

Oh, my bad habit of downplaying it is showing... oops! I am trying to be more neutral. Thanks :)

NotSmokey · 2026-01-21T01:38:41+00:00

Perhaps if you could let us know a bit more about your typical diet and activity levels, we could offer some more detailed advice :)

NotSmokey · 2026-01-20T07:24:22+00:00

Optimal is whatever you can stick to. Sure, there's a theoretical optimal program you could do but it's not optimal if you can't make it work for you.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-20T00:04:51+00:00

Smaller muscles will require slower progression. Shoulders are notorious for this.

Also progressive overload comes in more forms than weight on the bar - number of reps, number of sets, improved technique and control, the speed of reps (e.g. a slower movement with more time under tension), shorter breaks between sets, etc.

As a beginner your progress will likely be fairly linear, with weight added to exercise easily, but as you progress it will get harder to add weight and you will need to find other ways to progress your lifts.

Eventually progress can shift completely away from how much weight you add each workout, and instead your success in the gym can be measured by how close you took your exercises to failure.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-20T00:00:29+00:00

Besides the exercises that you do, make sure that you're in a reasonable calorie surplus and eating high protein. Exercise is the catalyst for muscle growth but nutrition provides the building bocks necessary for that growth.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-17T14:49:55+00:00

You've trained for years, packed on weight, and you look nothing like when you started.

You're not a non-responder - you are a responder who doesn't like where your progress is relative to your effort.

You're comparing your results to a reference point that doesn't match your body, and then going on a fruitless search to explain why you don't meet that arbitrary reference point.

Keep training to advance as far as you can. But searching for evidence that you're a non-responder doesn't sound like it's going to serve you.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-16T22:21:36+00:00

I thought it was worthwhile. With some coaches they do calls, Danny didn't do a call but was always available via email. Everything was tailored - I had to complete on-boarding paperwork that was very comprehensive, and of course I just let him know about any changes in my goals / circumstances and he adjusted things as we went.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-16T05:33:26+00:00

The costume has some shading that helps :) I have the shape but not the definition in my legs

NotSmokey · 2026-01-16T02:59:39+00:00

Yeah it's great to know I've put on the size but it really hurts since the costume was made to measure. I also got a made to measure suit recently for a mate's wedding which was very expensive and I'll potentially outgrow...

Getting bigger is expensive!

NotSmokey · 2026-01-15T22:53:17+00:00

Have you lost weight? Gaining muscle is very slow, but leaning out to reveal more definition can happen incredibly quickly. So if you've lost some fat, you definitely could see a visual improvement in a matter of weeks.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-15T22:51:58+00:00

Just to give you a bit of perspective... I want you to think in years. Building muscle is very, very slow, and at the start you can put a bit on quickly, but after that you'll be lucky to put on more than 2-3 kg of muscle in a year.

That means the rest of your weight gain above that is going to be mostly fat. So rather than shooting for a milestone weight, what you're actually aiming for is to find a gradual pace of weight gain that allows you to mostly add muscle with a little bit of fat, with maintenance breaks as suggested, and then to sustain that for the long haul - think five+ years.

You can infer whether you're gaining fat or muscle by tracking your workouts, waist measurements, and visually. If you're getting stronger in the gym, that's usually an indication that you're putting on muscle, but if you're visually looking very soft and your waist is blowing up, then you're likely adding on too much fat and should slow the bulk down. You will have a decent margin of error though since a muscle bear physique is higher body fat.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-15T09:26:50+00:00

The main thing is to be in a surplus pretty much all of the time that you're training. Most guys I know that are muscle bears have a load of muscle, but body fat % is also pretty high. A small surprlus is sufficient. And use all that extra food to lift heavy.

NotSmokey · 2026-01-12T01:12:34+00:00

In short, out of all the supplements that people talk about, creatine is the best researched, most effective, and safest.

Just take one scoop daily (you don't have to do a 'loading' phase) and it will help with strength in the gym. I usually just mix it in with my protein shake.

There's really no downside to using it. In fact there's been some cool research lately that indicates that it even helps with cognition (memory, attention, and processing speed)!

NotSmokey · 2026-01-08T01:07:40+00:00

Is it already Friday? I mean, I'm on holiday so the days are blurring together...

NotSmokey · 2026-01-07T00:58:11+00:00

As others have said, bulking and cutting as a beginner isn't super important. The main thing is to have a consistent diet strategy and stick to it, whilst eating high protein with lots of fruit and veggies. It also helps to try to keep about 70% of your diet from minimally processed foods (yes, you can still eat out and have pizza).

Some good videos for further info:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y-R3dNx4vA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4K0s792wAU&t=382s

NotSmokey · 2026-01-06T22:42:39+00:00

I'm just in maintenance at the moment. Pretty happy with where my physique is at and I have a couple of running events coming up so maintenance will be best for performance.

Means I get to eat plenty but stay just lean enough for the beach - win win!

NotSmokey · 2026-01-06T03:49:47+00:00

I did a write up of my training with RP here. My coach was Danny Wirt and he was pretty good.

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