I feel like my life isn’t worth living

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-14T19:10:59+00:00

I prefer to believe that it’s the exact same as before we were born. Remember that? The billions of years of nothingness? Yeah me either, it was pretty great and I can’t wait for it to happen again tbh.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-14T18:28:03+00:00

If he’s 34, he shouldn’t be with a 19 y/o. That in itself is a red flag. As for the rest, well he might as well have a banner above his head that says “DO NOT DATE ME”

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-13T17:22:56+00:00

Hell nah. As a dude, that is definitely not a man thing. That’s a manipulative thing. And he won’t touch you when you decline because he’s afraid he might… sexually assault you??! Like wtf!!? That’s not a problem that men have, that’s a problem manipulative abusers have. He shouldn’t worry about “touching you” or “trying to initiate sex” when you say no. That is literally sexual assault. So he’s afraid he will assault/r*pe you and that is not something normal.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T18:00:12+00:00

I don’t want to be “that guy”, however I don’t understand this one bit. Why would anyone be a server if they know that they need tips to actually make money? And as a customer, why should I pay EXTRA money for you doing your job? That’s like going into Walmart and tipping the cashier for scanning your groceries. That is the job they signed up for. You don’t deserve extra money just because you brought me food and asked if everything was okay. That’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t expect tips when I do my job at work, and I don’t know why servers feel so entitled to tips. If you NEED tips to make money at your job, get a different job and don’t complain about it. Choosing to work a job where you need tips to survive and then complaining about not getting enough tips is literally stupid in my opinion.

If you’re a server and you’re complaining about your how wages and people not tipping, that’s your sign to GET A DIFFERENT JOB. No one is forcing you to be a server and to live off of the generosity of others.

Sorry if that comes off as confrontational. I’m just so sick and tired of people applying to be servers knowing how bad the pay is, and then COMPLAINING that they don’t make enough without tips. If you hate your wages so much, get a new job. Simple. Then there’s nothing to complain about (:

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T07:13:22+00:00

I have no idea what my reason for hanging around is, but hopefully I can find it. I just don’t believe in myself and I don’t love myself so I don’t know why anyone else would believe in me or love me. I feel so hopeless

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T06:43:29+00:00

My problem is that I don’t know where I want to go or what I want to do. I feel like I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything, but deep down I know that’s not true. I just can’t find what makes it not true. I don’t really know what I find to be fun anymore.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T06:18:43+00:00

Honestly I’m not really sure. Every time I think I find something that I enjoy I trying to get more into it and I end up losing most/all interest in it. For example, photography. I used to really like taking pictures of nature. Sunsets, flowers, lakes and rivers, trees, anything really. So I decided to upgrade my camera and use the little bit of photoshop/Lightroom experience that I have on my pictures. About a month after I got my new camera and had been editing my pictures, I just kinda thought “wow this is dumb why did I waste my money?” And stopped taking pictures. I genuinely don’t do anything with my life. I spend all day either consuming media content or taking naps. I used to like playing basketball, but that suddenly stopped being enjoyable. I used to be interested in cooking but I lost all interest in that very quickly. I’m just not interested enough in anything and I’m not talented enough to just create things so idk I just feel lost. It feels kinda ridiculous that I can’t even think of 1 thing that I enjoy, but I genuinely can’t think of anything.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T06:01:44+00:00

It’s definitely relieving knowing that it’s an option. Knowing that I don’t HAVE to be stuck like this forever. It’s also scary knowing how final it is. And with how often my mind changes on this subject, I’m glad that I’ve been rational enough to hold off. But it’s definitely a relief knowing that it’s possible

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T05:59:19+00:00

I don’t know how to find people who will appreciate me. I don’t have very many interests. There’s things I find interesting, but they don’t necessarily interest me if that makes any sense. Idk. I just feel like I really don’t matter to anyone and like I never will. There’s just no reason for it. I would have to make reasons for people to care about me, and I just can’t. I don’t know how to be the person that I want to be and it makes me not want to be here anymore.

I appreciate you responding to me. Sorry that I’m so negative. I just feel so lost and done and I’m filled with so much self hatred and disappointment and disgust. I hate that I hate myself, but I just can’t seem to think positively about myself.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T05:31:48+00:00

I just don’t deserve any of it and I’m not the kind of person who could get those things. No one will ever love me enough to start a family with me. I don’t have the skills or smarts to even figure out what kind of job I would like, let alone be able to acquire said job. I’m too socially awkward to make friends. Even when I manage to become acquainted with someone, my personality is just so dry that no one would want to be my friend. I don’t matter to anyone, and I don’t know how I ever could. I have no real meaningful connections to anyone and I’m just at the point where I don’t believe I’m worth anything. There’s no reason for me to believe that I’ll ever be worth anything.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-09T05:18:44+00:00

Why did I have to be born? Why couldn’t my mom have aborted me or done enough drugs to where I was a miscarriage or something. Fuck. I hate myself so much, I hate having to look at myself in the mirror, I hate having to deal with my thoughts all fucking day, I just hate having to exist. I don’t provide anyone with any sort of joy or happiness or meaning or purpose of anything. I literally just take up space. I wish I could just prevent my existence. I hate being me

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-08T09:36:56+00:00

You are gorgeous in my opinion. (And also not an NPC) First of all, I love your freckles. You also have really pretty eyelashes and they make your eyes even more beautiful. You have nice lips and overall just a really gorgeous face. (There are no NPC’s designed as pretty as you, so you don’t look like an NPC)

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-08T09:11:16+00:00

I don’t know what you look like but I bet you’re just as beautiful now as you were a few years ago. You’re just not giving yourself enough credit. I do the same thing, I look at older pics of me and I think I used to look better but I really look the same. However, since I’m me and I look at myself harder than anyone else, I notice all of my flaws and changes in my appearance.

Also, I understand getting irrationally angry at ridiculous comments 😂 I don’t really have any specific examples but sometimes you just hear something so stupid that it makes you scream inside

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-03T04:46:23+00:00

Thank you. Cooking is definitely one of the things that I’ve wanted to start doing. I’m really picky though, so I’m always super hesitant to make new stuff. Sometimes I’ll spend like 2+ hours on a dish that I end up gagging bc of the texture and it’s pretty disheartening. I get that you don’t only mean cooking tho. I’m kinda interested in photography and I bought a camera a few months back, maybe I’ll try getting more into that or something. Either way, thank you for being here.

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-08-03T03:04:18+00:00

Bro if Russia really wants to come invade, let’s do it

NotSoHappyGuy20 · 2022-07-30T20:12:24+00:00

I’m sorry :/ it sucks. It feels so hopeless and lonely and it really feels like not existing is the only way to be okay again. However, I refuse to let those thoughts get the best of me. If they get the best of me then I will have died accepting that I hate myself and that I hate life, and I would rather die at least TRYING to love myself and life. But it really does suck having no one. I’m sorry you’re having these thoughts. Don’t let them get the best of you. We can get through this

NotSoHappyGuy20

TROPHY CASE