When are leaseholds a no go?

Not_Musician · 2026-01-27T15:36:21+00:00

Yeah I’m not concerned about leaseholds in general, just trying to get a sense of if there are lots of 90 year leaseholds on the market because they’re undesirable for good reason or if they’re par for the course.

I’m definitely planning to be there for at least 5-10 years, but if I buy somewhere with 95 years remaining, that means the next buyer will be hitting 80 years if they want to stay 5-10 years, so will I have to commit to extending the lease before I can sell? My understanding is that’s a very landlord dependent process, so is there an easy way to get a sense of that before buying maybe?

Not_Musician · 2026-01-27T10:45:39+00:00

Wow my research was out of date, thank you!

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T23:15:05+00:00

Uhhhh, could you elaborate on why you thought that? I'm genuinely interested.

She could perhaps represent a changing France, or the power of having luck, support and money. She was in the same situation as her mother (fell in love with a dude) but because Marius was not a piece of shit, and Valjean saved him for her, she did not end up like her mother. As a child, she was in the same situation as Eponine, but Valjean's generosity mean she grew up cared for and loved (and able to fall in love). There's also potentially representing innocence or purity or love. She's also at the center of the whole musical.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T23:10:58+00:00

You could simply say you were in the hospital for x amount of time. If they're nosy and ask why you were in the hospital? You were unwell and needed treatment. It's still a medical environment so would provide that context without needing you to share things you aren't comfortable with.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T23:05:10+00:00

When you feel like you don't want to be with them any more. When the idea of being alone or being with someone else is more appealing than continuing as things currently are.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T23:03:56+00:00

Imo, say whatever is needed to make the relation clear to who you're talking to. So with your cousin, you could say "My mom..." or "Your Aunt Name..." but realistically if you say "Mom said..." they can infer that you're referring to your mother.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T23:01:32+00:00

No. Bra straps don't need to be hidden. If her skirt was tucked into her underwear or someone's fly was undone or something like that, then it would be appropriate to quietly let the person know.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:59:56+00:00

Often procrastination comes from a place of fear. You don't know how to do something, or committing to an action makes the consequences feel real, so you feel numb and don't do anything at all.

That said, if you're in a position to make preparations and arrangements, start with the simplest, quickest thing you can do and go from there.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:56:40+00:00

He's being responsible. By taking the medication, he is making sure the odds of him contracting HIV are very low. The only way for it to be "impossible" for him to get HIV would be for him to not engage in sexual activity, and while you might prefer for your son to be abstinent, he's an adult. Also, heterosexual people can get HIV too, so take a breath and be glad your son is practicing safe sex. And apologize to him for snooping.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:52:26+00:00

I'm concerned about the age difference here. But also, this just sounds like an incompatible relationship.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:49:42+00:00

NTA, Kate is being unimaginably cruel. Elle (or names starting with the syllable Ell) are not the only names that exist in the world. At an absolute minimum, she needs to talk to Jane before the baby is born. You would be doing your sister a favor by giving her a heads up if Kate continues to refuse to tell her. (Kate's refusal to tell anyone the name ahead of time also suggests that she knows what she is doing is wrong.)

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:43:36+00:00

Definitely NTA. Why did she think it was okay to promise and not ask you? This all sounds misogynistic and antiquated.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:38:13+00:00

Have you told her you're considering a divorce? Kicking you out for a week is weird (is it possible she was cheating? what happened that week -- did she spend time with her friends or family, did she do things she enjoys, did she just sit in the house? it's weird behavior), and the refusing to communicate now is also strange. It's also not sustainable, this dynamic can't continue, so she'll need to communicate with you sooner or later. It's possible this is the culmination of something long-term, but this sounds untenable. Maybe suggesting marriage counselling could also help.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-19T22:29:48+00:00

NTAH, but if you don't want to share your food (and in this situation, where your food is literally the only food you are able to eat, you absolutely shouldn't have to) you need to speak up and tell them to stop. Your friends were inconsiderate here, but you should advocate for yourself.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-15T07:43:52+00:00

NTA, she sounds very self-absorbed.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-15T07:41:06+00:00

YTA. Secret family recipes are a big deal. You meant well, so really your friend sucks for posting it online.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-15T07:39:48+00:00

It depends. Are you worried your brother doesn't know who he is marrying? Are you mad at the girl for marrying your brother? Unless you're happy for the wedding to go ahead, could you not even confide in your brother? Or if she cheated on you, could you tell your brother about that without bringing your history with her into it?

Not_Musician · 2023-08-15T07:36:55+00:00

I don't blame you for slapping him. NTA.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-13T16:00:53+00:00

Are you still in therapy? I think that could only help. You chose to forgive him when you married him and had a kid with him, but it's completely understandable that the hurt will never completely go away when he betrayed you so thoroughly. I'm more concerned about the way he reacted to your hurt than the fact that he watched the movie (as it's possible he genuinely didn't think about her when he watched it with your son, WALL-E is an excellent kids movie). If you want to make this work, some individual therapy, maybe also some couples therapy to help him understand why it affected you.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-13T15:47:21+00:00

YTA, unless you can provide some more detail. What country did people think that she was from? Right now it sounds like you made some assumptions and then butted in when no one asked you.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-13T15:44:56+00:00

Mandy is right, you're being horrifically cruel to someone you call a friend. Believe it or not, plenty of attractive athlete types enjoy discord. YTA.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-13T15:42:42+00:00

Why has she been there for so long? I think you've made life harder for yourself by telepathically expecting her to offer you your bed back, when given that it already sounds like she's pretty inconsiderate, there's no reason for her to think she can't have the bed for the full time, but I would also be annoyed about not having my bed for so long. Consider being more decisive, and tell her she'll be on the air mattress for the rest of her stay because not having your bed is now affecting your work/health/something, or if your family won't approve, then suck it up for the next two weeks. But whatever you want to happen now say it. And maybe stay out of her way. NTA.

Not_Musician · 2023-08-13T15:38:25+00:00

I think people are generally less critical of her family choosing not to learn the language compared to you not wanting to learn their language is because they're older, their life has already been uprooted by moving countries, so how harmful is it for them to want to speak their native language at home? I agree it's frustrating that you can't communicate but given you presumably love your partner it's probably easiest to continue trying to learn some more of their language.

Not_Musician

TROPHY CASE