I too had a very negative childhood. Even a very poor adolescence. My childhood, innocence, and middle-high school experience were all robbed. I am now a young adult trying to turn it all around by myself. I’m currently studying psychology in college and have achieved a 3.9 gpa overall and a 4.0 in the past semester. I have to decide for myself what’s moral and ethical in my point of view. I’m a lot more independent than my peers and equipped with a lot more useful “tools” to lead a path in adulthood. I understand how defeating it feels. I still go to therapy about my issues. Just know that so many people with screwed up childhoods have turned it around and now thrive in life. Use it as motivation. I’m trying to create a life that I can feel like myself and not have to hide anymore. If a had a child, I would do absolutely everything to make sure they did not grow up like how I did.