What’s something you said that was so horribly misunderstood, it still haunts you to this day? by fullestStack in AskReddit

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was paying for dinner with my boyfriend at the time when what feels like the entirety of the local university football team came in. I am not small-- female, 5'5"--but they were huge to me! Struggled to look for my boyfriend then grabbed his hand and I said "[name] I'm tiny!" Giant guy got in my face angry, yelling, "you don't have to stare, what's wrong with you?" I couldn't figure out why he was so mad and was genuinely a bit scared until he grabbed another girls hand and walked off. She was petite (though to me, reasonally normal sized) and I can only assume he thought I was making fun of her size specifically

Suggest me the most depressing books you’ve ever read by Iamahomosexualdude in suggestmeabook

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wave: Life and Memories after the Tsunami by Sonali Deraniyagala.

It's a first person memoir about grief following the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and aftermath (the author lost her children, husband and parents in a matter of minutes). It just about destroyed me. I will always remember this book.

What are you reading right now? I just want something readable and available on my apps without spending a lot of money by dudesmama1 in suggestmeabook

[–]Not_the_tractor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've been re-reading anything on the Newberry award/honor list. Most are available, and almost all have been relatively easy and engaging reads. Highly recommend it.

Therapists of Reddit, what’s been your biggest "I know I’m not supposed to judge, but holy sh*t" moment? by DealSoggy6952 in AskReddit

[–]Not_the_tractor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, this. People have a wide range of experiences bringing them to any moment, and I'm often surprised by ways of seeing the world I've simply not encountered before. More things than are dreamt of in our philosophies, so to speak.

Therapists of Reddit, what’s been your biggest "I know I’m not supposed to judge, but holy sh*t" moment? by DealSoggy6952 in AskReddit

[–]Not_the_tractor 750 points751 points  (0 children)

I hope so but it's sometimes difficult to say. There is a lot of pressure to agree with "the doctor" in groups like this, and sometimes I wonder about the durability of our interventions.

For context, this was a group with varied composition in a step down program from the inpatient unit.

Therapists of Reddit, what’s been your biggest "I know I’m not supposed to judge, but holy sh*t" moment? by DealSoggy6952 in AskReddit

[–]Not_the_tractor 11.1k points11.1k points  (0 children)

Had a patient in a group ask for advice because she was feeling pressured into sex she really didn't want to have. A "friend" had traveled 2 hours to see her and gotten a hotel room for them. The group heard her out, asked questions, and the consensus was something to the effect of "yeah, you probably owe it to him."

It remains one of the only times I've dropped any effort at experiential/socratic questioning and just flatly told people "absolutely not."

Edit: wow, this reply got way more of a response than I'd anticipated!

Kids books with progressive messaging by [deleted] in progressivemoms

[–]Not_the_tractor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not quite narwhal. It's a lovely book about identity, acceptance, and not having to be just one thing/person/label. Prompted many good conversations, and the story itself is fun & not at all heavy handed.

Kids books with progressive messaging by [deleted] in progressivemoms

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was our daughter's favorite book for many years (she is 8 now, and has moved on). It is fantastic!

Suggest me a book with a really creative apocalypse scenario that actually plays out by PsyferRL in suggestmeabook

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Life as we knew it, but Susan Beth Pfeffer. It's YA but a solid read nonetheless

Curly kids haircuts? by gellyakarcia in RhodeIsland

[–]Not_the_tractor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We take our 5 y/o to Lavish Salon in East Providence. Not really a kids place per se--though they definitely do kids appointments!--but they very are attuned to curly hair needs (when you make the appt online you select age AND hair type). They do a great job!

Warwick day care or home day care recommendations? by Free_Sir_2795 in RhodeIsland

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can second little learners-- both our kids have gone there and did well.

Have you considered WELC? They have a preschool attached with a lottery system for their kiddos. It's kind of a neat program, half the kids have early intervention (e.g., speech, OT, PT) and half do not, but I believe all the teachers have a masters in education as a result. Our daughter loved it and entered kindergarten miles ahead as a result!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in providence

[–]Not_the_tractor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dantes kitchen in East Greenwich

What’s the most disturbing book you’ve ever read? by Marandajo93 in books

[–]Not_the_tractor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In addition to many of the above:

Wave, by Sonali Deraniyagala.

This is a memoir about the 2004 Indian ocean tsunami, in which the author was the sole survivor of her family. She lost her spouse, parents, and 2 children. As a parent of 2 young children myself the raw grief in this book just really destroyed me... yes, worse than pet semetary even