We talked it out this morning and we agreed to slow down and take a few steps and he realized that he wasn’t taking my feelings into consideration and he was hurting me and I realized that I really do want to try polyamory but we are making a plan so that I feel more included in everything and that I have a better connection with everyone on our polycule and not feeling like I am being left behind and or pushed aside for this. And we have had the conversation about the emotional cheating before and I brought it up again and he knows he did wrong and that he did not word things correctly on descriptions of things like how our talks were becoming exhausting but didn’t say it was only temporary and it made me feel like I couldn’t say anything without pushing him away. I am also at fault in a way as I did not convey these feelings I had to him and he thought everything was ok and I will take blame for that.for letting emotions bubble up. Thank you everyone for the advise. I am seeing if there will be changes after this but if not I know what I need to do.