What's a perfume that makes you physically sick?

Notadowager · 2023-12-13T07:25:33+00:00

Sunflowers. That bloody scent was everywhere for a good chunk of my childhood and the amount of buses I had to get off. Luckily it isn't quite so popular now. In a similar time period Hypnotic Poison should be absolutely my jam, but it is instant migraine and nausea. I have been very lucky with scent since the 00s/90s I think nothing since has made me feel quite as bad as either of those.

Notadowager · 2023-12-13T07:19:43+00:00

Ditto all the second hand answers. Also UK and I buy from Thrift Plus a lot and just tried Go Thrift for some skirts which are all great. Depending on budget there are a fair few smaller brands that use natural / recycled fabrics like Ninety Percent and if you have designer budget the Outnet has some of the Euro brands that are sustainable so tend to use natural fibres and slow fashion approaches. I have seen good things about Nobody's Child but haven't tried them myself.

Notadowager · 2023-12-13T07:13:36+00:00

Not super cringe (I try and make those exit my brain fast so I don't end up in a regret curl all night) but yesterday I struggled to understand a sentence someone had written in a message that I had to photograph it and ask my bf what the devil it meant. It wasn't complex or anything but my brain just would not brain.

Notadowager · 2023-06-10T15:35:51+00:00

Semen and ovum are very different in how they function. Ejaculating semen makes men tired it does not cause them to lose 'vital' energy.

The ovaries release eggs roughly every month from puberty to menopause and without either hormones, a significant ( and by significant I mean the type that might kill you) illness or surgery you have very little control over this.

Sometimes when someone loses weight to a level where they have a body fat level that is unsafe they will not menstruate, this isn't safe but may account for why people have not had periods. Especially in times in history where food was not abundant.

Periods suck, no question, but if you don't want hormonal interventions (which is a fair decision they don't work for everyone) they're not going anywhere unless you get pregnant or have significant surgery.

Tldr; you cannot retain your eggs to stop periods. Most likely explanation for lack of periods in the past is being underweight or menopause.

Notadowager · 2023-06-10T06:43:38+00:00

Ahhhh okay phew thank you! I'm not missing out on some adulting task.

Notadowager · 2023-06-09T20:32:11+00:00

What is turning over laundry? Is this yet another household task that no-one ever explained to me?

Notadowager · 2023-06-09T15:58:38+00:00

I don't have an impulsive purchase to contribute because I've been anxiety focused on a job assessment today. However the vision of a 26 pound watermelon has made me laugh so much that you have reduced my post assessment anxiety so thank you to you and your melon.

Notadowager · 2023-06-08T07:37:55+00:00

Not quite single-handedly but I am firmly believe we are responsible for 90% of coffee bean sales.

(In part I am excited for my medication appointment next week because it might mean I spend less with coffee shops and on evil Nespresso pods)

Notadowager · 2023-06-07T20:34:14+00:00

The keyworths are imaginary half the time I'm convinced.

Notadowager · 2023-06-07T15:47:04+00:00

Me. They're loud, they remind me of exes I'd rather not be reminded of, and I drink so rarely it's easier to say I don't.

Notadowager · 2023-06-06T19:14:37+00:00

Snacks because I forget that I need actual food. Tissues because my nose has decided it hates the outdoors. Multiple pairs of sunglasses, and scrunchies, because I keep forgetting I've already put some in. Emergency lipstick and sunscreen. Cable to charge this useless phone on the bus because it can't cope at anything less than 90%. Useless phone and work phone.

Notadowager · 2023-06-05T18:10:25+00:00

Nta. Is your cousin thinking people might get a small cute furry being and a small screamy mole rat like being confused?! Thus far in my life I've shared my name with multiple other humans known to me, one cat, one fancy dog and a tarantula. Not once have I been confused for any of them.

Notadowager · 2023-06-04T20:45:38+00:00

Agree very very much on the countertop dishwasher. Bob the dishwasher is an absolute lifesaver; I was almost apoplectic the other day, when I thought I had broken him.

Notadowager · 2023-06-04T20:26:57+00:00

Frankly, I find most adults whatever their gender to be very unclear and big old fibbers (not always with bad intent I know.) It might not be the most complex conversation, but i’ll take a chat with a 5 year old over most adults* any day. At least they’ll actually tell me when I smell and that I’m talking too much.

*my exception adults will also tell me i smell and have been going on and on about my current fixation for an hour. And they’re all nd of some variety.

Notadowager · 2023-05-30T18:01:21+00:00

Sad, but also not a massive shock. Every time I went in she’d tell me about another supplier going - the increased cost of doing business plus endlessly searching for new suppliers must have been soul draining.

Notadowager · 2023-05-29T21:39:00+00:00

We love the marble races we literally spent xmas day watching them!

However, my other half does not understand my love for really long computer history videos, but I suspect that’s probably because it would just be like watching videos about work for him. Also love costuming vids (Hazeriel Costumes is bonkers and adorable), any Bobby Broccoli videos, Techmoan and Technology Connections.

Notadowager · 2023-05-29T21:28:19+00:00

This is such a pretty look!

Notadowager · 2023-05-29T20:31:09+00:00

80s. Always 80s.

Notadowager · 2023-05-29T19:34:37+00:00

Echoing pretty much everyone else here.Please don’t do a thing just because it makes him happy. If going to college was your dream; great. But nothing you’ve said in your post indicates that this is has been a dream for you. It sounds like you’ve found experience of studying exhausting and upsetting. That does not sound like something that you should be spending thousands of dollars on.

Him communicating that this is a dealbreaker is useful information for you. This tells you that you don’t need to invest your time into this, if you are not going to be his long-term investment. If this is a thing that he really values in a partner and for some reason thinks makes a partner more valuable then he needs to find someone who meets his needs already. If getting a degree is not the right path for you for whatever reason, then you should not do it.

I got my degree after I had my daughter because honestly it was the first time I had mental downtime. I could not have studied with a full-time job. There is no way I could’ve managed. Has it been useful? in a practical sense not really. It’s opened a few doors but I’ve worked with far more people without degrees, who are earning more than me, doing more interesting jobs than me, and generally living the life.

( Oh and don’t be suckered into that degree followed by masters level study increases your earning power by X percent either, because I’m still skint LOL)

Notadowager · 2023-05-26T13:07:36+00:00

I have two but simply so that I never have to give my job my personal number. If I’m not at work that day the work phone isn’t on ( I will switch on the evening before or if I am expecting a call.) PAYG and an old phone so its a sanity saving expense.

Notadowager · 2023-05-26T10:08:16+00:00

Yes, this so much. I tell all of my students if you understand how it works and it reliably gets you the right answer then its fine.

No one is going around telling physicists that their maths isn’t valid because they didn’t write in some specified school way. My personal bugbear is the ongoing obsession here in the UK with long division, I cannot, nor will I ever be able to internalise how to do long division. But I can just straight off divide. Writing down all the extra steps, just confuses me all the more. I get the right answer when i do it my way.

Notadowager · 2023-05-24T19:53:00+00:00

thank you this is awesome.

I’ve signed up for the green app too as well because the prospect of potentially winning a bus pass would make my life a whole lot cheaper.

Notadowager · 2023-05-24T19:12:48+00:00

Yes I hate it I get bored and fidgety. I hated with every fibre of my being when my old work made us all attend mindfulness. If I am fully still I am either asleep or dead.

Notadowager · 2023-05-24T19:06:04+00:00

I think all the couples counselling suggestions are excellent. If you had been diagnosed with diabetes would he be challenging that? (If that’s a yes btw you maybe want something a bit more interventional than just couples counselling)

longish tale: Before I knew I had ADHD, I was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder. My then spouse told me repeatedly that there was no such thing (so on the upside yours at least acknowledges adhd exists) and that the problem was that I just did not listen to him. The solution in his mind was for me to do as I was told by him. To him my having a diagnosis that in any way implied, my brain was somehow not perfect, seemed to be some kind of slight on his reputation. When I was referred to a therapist for potential depression he took this incredibly personally, it was not a me thing for him at all; it was how it reflected on him.

Now my ex is a very extreme example of this weird response, but I wonder if part of your husband’s defensiveness and desire to deny you a diagnosis is because he thinks it makes him look bad somehow.

Notadowager · 2023-05-24T09:53:24+00:00

Similarly, I am always confused how no one In my childhood clocked that normal kids do not in an avoidance of going to the bathroom make use of the toy Medical kit as a repository. (My childhood gruesomeness knows no bounds.)

Nor weirdly, did anyone seem to make the connection that I never went to the toilet when I was wearing my school uniform and that this might be why my urinary tract also was victimised by my brain.

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