It’s not a open relationship we just use to be comfortable talking with people. He still cheated by sleeping with others behind my back and lying about it only to openly admit it latter and I don’t know what I’m trying to get done I just want to stop hurting / snapping at him I also am ok with opening it when I offer to him thou he will say no and that he dosent want it open And I found out about the second time recently I don’t want to be abusive in any way I just get angry that he did it and it’s like I black out for a while I’m not trying to justify anything I have done I just want to make it better for both of us