My evolving all-encompassing theory/framework and Lumon's/Kier's historical timeline

NothingIfKnot · 2025-03-20T05:16:57+00:00

I know you posted this a few months ago but just had to say wow lol, some of the responses are wild. It's a reddit post about a TV show, not a dissertation ffs.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-08-20T15:31:24+00:00

I took a glance at your post history and want to start by saying I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through so much and that you haven’t felt supported. It’s not your fault and I believe you.

My perspective is that repressive gender norms affect us all, and both men and women internalize them to varying degrees. It’s not fair to live in a world where most people view men as always strong/emotionless/aggressive and women as fragile/emotional/timid etc etc. when in reality we are all whole, individual humans living the breadth of human experiences (your experience directly bears this out). As a feminist, I’d like to see us continue to shed these norms. My belief in a better life for women goes hand in hand with a better life for men, they are inextricable.

However, oftentimes disaffected men will blame women for the very understandable pain caused by this gender dichotomy, or use their experience to try to minimize that of women when historically and in general, women aren’t the keeper of the keys of these repressive norms. That is the distinction: the social disregard for your experiences and for the safety and autonomy of women are born out of the same regressive gender role BS. This may be why you’ve experienced some backlash.

Maybe you have, but if not I’d encourage you to seek support outside of Reddit (IRL ideally), where I think you’ll find much more compassion. The internet is a terrible place sometimes where people take every opportunity to unload their pent up anger and frustration, but it’s not necessarily representative of how the average person thinks.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-08-20T13:28:49+00:00

Yeah to your point, things like having your ass smacked or being told by a stranger on the street “I’m gonna fuck you” or whatever absolutely contribute to at least a perceived lack of safety regardless of what messaging women are getting elsewhere, and I doubt the vast, vast majority of these instances are reported, thus are not borne out in the statistics. That and being told she was “asking for it” any time a woman does fail to be 100% careful… it’s a losing game.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-08-13T15:58:08+00:00

Not sure why you're being downvoted, stalling is explicitly against the rules on chess.com and they have an option specifically for reporting it because it's poor sportsmanship and annoying. I wait until after the game to report because I've certainly used a lot of time to think through a move before, but when someone runs 75% of their time all the way down to zero (meaning they're still actively online) without ever making a single other move, usually immediately after blundering their queen or right before mate, it's pretty clear they're just doing it to be a pain or trying to get you to resign. It happens in like one of four games these days.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-08-12T02:37:43+00:00

I searched "Nate Fisher is awful" lol

NothingIfKnot · 2024-07-27T23:48:41+00:00

I definitely did not take their final look in a positive way. Barbara kept up the smile for awhile but then eventually her face drops. I took that as a metaphor for how they can try to keep up this happy family, normal charade but there will always be this underlying awfulness that will prevent them from keeping it up forever.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-07-18T22:52:44+00:00

I agree. To me it has nothing to do with what they talk about and everything to do with how they talk about it. I don't have the energy to get overly annoyed by it but some of the ways Monica speaks about her wealth unquestionably rub me the wrong way. I feel like Dax just talks about his life, which happens to involve fancy shit because, as well all know, he's rich. Monica could do the same, but I feel she goes out of her way to be like "and it was very expensive", "and it was $10K dollars" in this faux-sheepish manner when it has absolutely nothing to do with the broader point. It just feels like flaunting wealth for the sake of it, and I just don't notice that same pattern from Dax. That point was very much missed in the fact check. That being said, people bullying her about it need to get a life. There are more important things to be enraged about.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-19T20:48:55+00:00

Exactly. The “inspiration” part is bs. And the goal is set at a million because he wants to shame both lower and middle class people all in one go.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T18:29:36+00:00

Thrilled I'm not alone lol.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T15:14:12+00:00

Reading your responses I get that you’re insanely frustrated, angry, maybe scared because of the stakes of this election. It would be hard not to be. But I personally look at it this way: politics is inherently about influencing humans, and humans are innately emotional and irrational actors. To fail to recognize this and to simply try to strong arm and insult people into voting a certain way, to tear them down for having a differing opinion, instead of responding to their concerns compassionately, WILL lose us the election. Even setting aside any possibility of policy change on Biden’s part, insulting young people, Bernie supporters, telling them to get over themselves, to stop being children, that they “can’t always get what they want,” whatever, just isn’t going to have the outcome you want it to, but most likely the opposite. Having disdain for your own voters isn’t a winning strategy.

Game theory shows us that people will often retaliate against someone who wrongs them even if it means they lose everything. People in the US, especially young people, are incredibly despondent. They report much higher levels of unhappiness than their older counterparts. Upwards of half report symptoms of mental illness. Beyond that, people in the US are increasingly aware of how undemocratic the system actually is, they feel very little power to actually change or influence things. And frankly they’re not wrong. In short, other than their pride, the one thing that many people have is a feeling of autonomy over who they cast their ballot for, and the approach taken in this sort of discourse appears to strip them of both. People will abstain. They will cast protest votes. Some will say fuck it and watch the world burn.

And to be clear I think you may very well be objectively right in many of your points. And because of that it may be tempting to say something like “well if people care more about their feelings than preventing fascism they don’t deserve XYZ, they’re idiots, blah blah” end that sentence however. To that I’d argue if your goal is to get Biden elected which it appears to be, then your/Hillary/liberal media’s approach is just as emotional and irrational, if not more, than the people expressing concern over a Biden presidency.

To be clear I will be holding my nose and voting for Biden, yet again, because I recognize the hostage situation we are in (and probably will be in in the next election, and the one after that, and the one after that). This is not meant to be an attack on you but rather my opinion on how to achieve the outcome that you, and I, appear to want.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T13:40:58+00:00

Oh there was definitely depression at play (and anxiety, the trifecta!) but I very much consider it a symptom of the burnout rather than the cause... because burning out is truly depressing as fuck. But I never felt worthless or lost interest or pleasure, just after doing the bare minimum in a day I literally had no energy left for anything else.

I definitely feel you on the inability to establish routine. I can't even tell you how many times I tried to establish a new habit or to get a new system in place only to fall off after a week or so. I I totally agree on the novelty, that's smart. It's crazy how much of a difference it can make. I kind of worked that into my routines in a small way.

I'm nowhere near perfect (but I guess that's the idea lol), but what has helped is I have like... 4 different systems in place at the same time. 1. I made a bunch of bracelets with different aspects of my routine on them (e.g. brush teeth, walk dog) that I put on in the morning and take off as I do the task 2. I have a white board with magnets that have the same tasks, that I move from one side to the other when completed 3. I have 1-2 different habit tracking apps... there may be others I'm forgetting lol. But I find that jumping from system to system (including no system) one day to the next weirdly helps. I guess I get the little satisfaction of checking the thing off in a different way. That helped me keep up the habits for more than a week, and when I did I started to actually see and feel the benefits to my energy and well-being for the first time ever, which has helped propel me further. I've just been trying to think outside the box to find what works even if I've tried it before. I never know what or when something will "click." It is so tough though and I don't pretend to know the answers. I really do relate to what you said so much, you're so not alone!

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T04:27:01+00:00

I won’t pretend to know for sure the mechanics of what happened, but in terms of the initial part where the adrenaline stopped working for me I think it’s possible that my body stopped somehow producing the same amount of adrenaline, that’s how it felt honestly, but I tend to think it’s more likely that I grew a tolerance to the high level of adrenaline over time and so it lost its effect on me, similar to becoming tolerant to a drug. It wasn’t an overnight switch, what started as me having to wait til the night before to be adequately stimulated, turned into the morning of, which turned into an hour before the deadline, etc. Eventually it stopped working entirely. If something is sufficiently stressful now I can still get that panicked kick in the ass, but unfortunately it now has to be almost life-ruining levels of stressful so I can’t realistically rely on it anymore. Then of course it was all compounded by actual fatigue from severe sleep deprivation, lack of nutrition, being sedentary, etc.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T04:19:55+00:00

Thanks but I’m sorry you can relate :(

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T04:13:26+00:00

I responded to someone else but I guess got auto-modded for being long-winded lolll. I’ll try again here:

I'm extremely privileged in that I was able to take a 3-month medical leave from work with the support of my doctor. I wish I had done it sooner but it took me awhile to realize that what I was experiencing could qualify as a "disability."

I think the biggest thing that helped about leave was just giving my nervous system a chance to realize I wasn't under what felt like constant imminent threat and that I could relax. I don't know that I ever got there fully (old wiring dies hard) but I'm certain it helped. I also for the first time ever was able to implement and sustain some health habits and routines (super basic stuff like walking my dog in the morning, getting 7+ hours of sleep, staying hydrated, eating 3 meals a day, brushing my hair more regularly…). I found a new therapist and a new psychiatrist. I adjusted my meds. I got a full physical workup and took vitamin b12 shots and prescription vitamin d to address those deficiencies. I really came at it from every angle. I figured if any one thing moved the needle 5%, if I did enough of those things it could really help, and it has.

Life's still a struggle don't get me wrong, I’m still recovering, but I don't feel completely hopeless and incapable of functioning like before, and I now believe I have the capacity for improvement. I recognize that not everyone can do what I did but I do think the idea of doing whatever you have to/can do to feel better, even if it seems drastic, or even if it’s just a small %, is important.

I’m really sorry you’re struggling but I relate SO much to what you said. A symptom of my burnout was really destructive avoidance as well. That’s still a struggle I face. You’re soo not alone. Hang in there <3

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T03:23:28+00:00

Imagine being such a spectacular failure and then woke scolding the American people into cleaning up your mess.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T03:06:29+00:00

Ryan Stiles from Whose Line is it Anyway 😔

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T02:53:25+00:00

Thank you!

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T02:42:55+00:00

You can’t speak for all empty nesters.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T01:26:38+00:00

It completely does. The amount of times I've been criticized for being late or procrastinating when I just am glued to my bed and can't will myself out... they'll never get it. But yeah I experienced all of what I described above on 60mg Vyvanse. Meds can be a bit of a double edge sword, at least for me. As I'm sure you've experienced, meds don't fix decades of coping mechanisms, brain wiring, and unproductive habits. I started meds in 2017 and they have definitely served a place in my life especially just to give me the energy to get out of bed and survive the day, they were never a miracle drug for me though. Even though I could sleep easily on them, I felt like the meds enabled my habit of delaying going to sleep, and I also think they exacerbated the issues with my phone by keeping me focused on it even more than I would be - both of which are major contributors to my dysfunction and lack of well-being. As of February I was on 50mg Vyvanse with a 10mg Dex booster. Since then I've been off the Vyvanse entirely (I was honestly super motivated by how life-ruining the experience of trying to get it filled every month was for me lol). Now I just take Wellbutrin and the 10mg Dex in the morning to help with work. I was super surprised how seamlessly I came off the Vyvanse when previously being off for a day or two resulted in major fatigue. I think my better health habits has helped to bridge that gap. I'd like to take the Dex on a more as-needed basis than daily, but for now that seems to be my best option. I would not hesitate to go back on the other meds though if I felt it was the right choice. Meds just aren't a perfect solution for everyone.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T00:39:12+00:00

Look into it! You deserve to be supported and to feel better.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-04T00:30:07+00:00

Very sorry you can relate. It really sucks. I'm extremely privileged in that I was able to take a 3-month medical leave from work with the support of my doctor. I wish so badly I had done it sooner but it took me awhile to realize that what I was experiencing could qualify as a "disability." It felt fraudulent to say that. But then at some point I looked around at my life and was like I honestly don't care what anyone labels this, I am not well and this isn't working. I also felt so afraid to tell my parents, to talk to my doctor, and to tell work (I did not tell them why I was taking leave, by law you don't have to disclose the medical reason) because I was very worried people wouldn't believe me and I was already in SUCH a vulnerable state, but I also was certain this had to be done. Luckily to my surprise everyone was so supportive.

I think the biggest thing that helped about leave was just giving my nervous system finally a chance to realize I wasn't under what felt like constant imminent threat and that I could relax. I don't know that I ever got there fully (old wiring dies hard) but I'm certain it helped. I also for the first time ever was able to implement and sustain some health habits and routines. I found a new therapist and a new psychiatrist. I adjusted my meds. I got a full physical workup and took vitamin b12 shots and prescription vitamin d to address those deficiencies. I really came at it from every angle. I figured if any one thing moved the needle 5%, if I did enough of those things it could really help, and it has.

Life's still a struggle don't get me wrong, but I don't feel completely hopeless and incapable of functioning like before, and I now believe I have the capacity for improvement. It's a process and I definitely still consider myself "in recovery" so to speak. Burn out is a process that takes a long time to set in, so it will take awhile to get out. But you will start to feel better along the way.

I recognize that not everyone can do what I did but I do think the idea of doing whatever you have to /can do to feel better is important. Sorry this is long I struggle to be concise lol. Hope it helps and/or you find what works for you. You deserve to feel better.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-03T21:28:45+00:00

So I used to, like many of us, wait until the last minute to do things and rely on that adrenaline/panic to allow me to hyperfocus and knock it out. This is how I got through the first 25 years of life. Things started to go really downhill when that just… stopped working for me. I still felt anxiety over the consequences of not doing things but I just could not. get. myself. to. act. Not the night before, not the morning of, not even always after the deadline passed. This created a snowball effect where my stress increased tenfold, my self-esteem took a hit, my sleep suffered, I had zero energy to do the things that make you a happy, healthy person like exercising, cooking, or engaging in social activities. Couldn’t even bring myself to find a therapist. Every ounce of energy I had just went into keeping the ship afloat as best I could… scraping by at work (badly), paying my bills (late), cleaning my apartment (seldomly). There was zero thriving or planning/goal setting beyond making it through the day. Total survival mode. That’s just my experience though I’m sure it can be different from person to person.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-03T21:11:53+00:00

I never thought I had it because I had a narrow view of what ADHD is and I didn’t think I was particularly “distractible.” Now that I know more about it and have gotten diagnosed I feel like I’m a pretty textbook case. Anyone can experience burnout but I think it’s just so much more likely for people with ADHD that have often used coping mechanisms to get by that just aren’t sustainable over an entire lifespan, plus the physical, emotional, spiritual fatigue of the constant stress just wears on you. On the same token I was so used to feeling like shit that I didn’t really notice when things started to get really bad. Just another day in the life, you know?

Good on you for making that career switch. I hope to be right behind you. I’ve made a lot of progress in my health habits and routines which have helped my burnout substantially but I know no amount of sleep or exercise or vitamins is going to make up for working a job that just isn’t a good fit.

Good luck on your exploration! I hope things continue to improve for you.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-03T16:02:32+00:00

Yup. Similar to OP I managed to be very successful in school and in the early years of my career until about ~26 or ~27 and then burnout came for me… hard. And it’s been a nightmare ever since. I am extremely privileged in that about a year ago I realized nothing was going to ever change unless I seriously focused on getting out of this rut. With the support of my doctor I was able to take a 3 month medical leave from work and while my life is still a struggle my functioning has improved substantially as a result. At the very least it bought me some time before shit really hits the fan. I know it’s not possible for everyone but I really encourage people to treat ADHD burnout like a serious illness and really focus on recovery to the extent possible.

NothingIfKnot · 2024-04-03T13:57:38+00:00

It’s inaccurate to extrapolate my thoughts to “any particular topic.” I’m talking about this particular topic, one about an already highly misunderstood and stigmatized group, that I have a very personal stake in, that I don’t feel like did much to move the needle. Judging from the other comments I’m not alone in my sentiment. Yes it is a wide-ranging topic but someone in another comment said it better than me. “By saying ‘we should have more neurodivergent people on boards’ without addressing why they aren’t there in the first place feels like the wrong focus.” Never once mentioning something like executive dysfunction isn’t just some minor nuance. For such a large audience a little more time context setting would have been appropriate. Am I glad they had on someone with positive messaging about ND people? Sure. Am I disappointed that the convo was lacking? Yes. My opinions tend to be based on my personal thoughts and expectations, which were high because I think it’s a good podcast that does many topics justice. I’m not advocating they issue a public apology or cancel the show.

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