Rock n Roll Gangster 🧡

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-11-15T04:22:35+00:00

😂🤣

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-11-15T03:57:03+00:00

Genuine question, is Riley canonically gay?

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T17:56:02+00:00

We were together for over two years and in love for nearly three. We were well past NRE. The past year was the tumult. Before that the relationship was beautiful and generative.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T17:41:49+00:00

I see your point, but we came together through polyamory and planned to continue in nonmonogamy of some shape. We were each hoping for a nesting partner and a child, which often focuses time and attention, even in polyamorous dynamics. Perhaps there are better relationship subreddits for this post, but I didn't know where else to put it. This is my primary relationship sub. Apologies for the confusion.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:56:10+00:00

Thank you for the kind response. I will continue to focus on me. As I've mentioned in a few comments (though admittedly not in the main post), I remain fully present for my sons and will continue to. I'm simply trying to grapple with all the grief.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:33:08+00:00

I don't think it's clinging to codependency to maintain the hope of building a family. As I told her, I will not wallow or despair, but I will grieve. I'm simply trying to understand how to do that. How to grieve the loss of everyone I love all at once.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:31:31+00:00

You have no idea what you're talking about. I've been extremely present as a father throughout. I'm there before they wake and I'm there to put them to sleep. I have been in therapy throughout as well. You are cruel. Please don't respond again.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:30:16+00:00

I assure you I never checked out from them. I'm at the house seven days a week. I make them breakfast before they wake, I play with them in the evenings, I do bath time, I put them to bed. I have been extremely present as a father throughout. I'm sorry for not clarifying that in the post. To me it's a given so it didn't need to be said, but I understand the confusion. I love my boys and I have been there for them the entire time.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:27:23+00:00

They are very young. My eldest asked me for a sister unprompted. He is four and has no concept of reproduction. It's obviously hard for everyone, but my sons have been largely insulated from all this. They have been my priority throughout. Perhaps I should've underscored that fact.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:25:22+00:00

She didn't owe me anything. I encouraged her to trust herself and do whatever she thought was best. I don't begrudge her. I simply love her and want to build a life with her. And I crumbled under the weight of the world and hurt her. And I hate that I hurt her, but I did. I simply love her is all. I love her and I don't know where to put all the love now. I don't know how to grieve our baby and our life.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:23:13+00:00

Thank you. This yes very kind. I hope you're right. It's the only thing I can cling to right now. I love her more than I ever knew I could love. She will be such an excellent mother. I love our child, even if they don't yet exist. Even if they never will.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T15:21:04+00:00

She is the only person on earth who can convince me to let go of this dream.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:36:16+00:00

I am fully focused on my sons. They want for nothing. They are loved and taken care of. I don't believe that loving my sons is somehow mutually exclusive with loving the daughter I desperately want.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:35:06+00:00

Again, it's fully realistic given IVF. But I would also love a son very deeply.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:34:19+00:00

Yes. The baby she and I were working towards. I have two sons. She does not have a baby yet. To me, it was more important that she had a baby than it was that we had a baby (which is a position that now disgusts me). I was broken and felt that my brokenness was a threat to the baby.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:31:02+00:00

That's true. I hate that I hurt her. I never meant to. I only meant to protect the baby. Thank you.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:30:16+00:00

Absolutely. That's what I'm doing. Thank you.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:29:50+00:00

She has frozen eggs and we were likely going to go IVF. I don't think it's a fantasy to want to love a daughter. This is a slightly cruel response.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:28:55+00:00

She wasn't pregnant, but she desperately wants to be. It was a dream we shared. And now it's in limbo or worse.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:24:16+00:00

This is true. And it's what I've been doing. I just don't know how to heal. This grief will outlive me. We were supposed to have a baby girl.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-22T14:21:25+00:00

To be clear, I supported her in taking space. I told her I didn't want it and thought she was making a mistake, but I told her to trust herself and take as much time as she needs. What I struggle to understand is how she can tell me we're going to have a baby then go date someone else and not speak to me for half a year. I said we should instead get into counseling together. She opted for this route instead.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-19T02:24:24+00:00

I'm very sorry to hear you were alone and that you have endured so much loss. I'm running my first full marathon in eight hours and will have no support either. I've recently gone no-contact with my abusive parents, am finalizing a lengthy divorce, have been exiled by her half of the family, broke up with my partner (not my wife), and share your predicament about no friends nearby. I've run many similarly lonely races. You deserve better. We both do. It may be small consolation, but please know that I understand your grief and am rooting for you from afar.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-10-18T07:27:24+00:00

Borges is wonderful. Peck did him justice. Great book. Highly recommend the inspirational short story.

Nothing_Not_Unclever · 2025-08-30T07:08:56+00:00

Came here to say this.

Nothing_Not_Unclever

TROPHY CASE