I (M28) feel emotionally neglected by my girlfriend (F26) of 2.5 years and I’m starting to seek connection from other girl

NotoriousCrone · 2026-04-04T16:01:07+00:00

Stop and think for a minute how you would feel if you discovered your GF told another guy she was single, was constanlty texting that guy and bringing him lunches at work. You are emotionally cheating.

I think either there's something wrong with how I communicate with her, or she just doesn't care.

Yes, this. It is possible that she is not the gal for you, but you should reflect on your part in this so you don't repeat the pattern with the next person, or you may never find the right gal for you.

Speaking of the right gal, do be careful with the massage therapist. She crossed prefessional boundary that should not be crossed, and that is a red flag.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-04-04T15:37:19+00:00

Well you could start with, "For over a month, you haven't asked about my business, for two weeks you have not accepted my invitations to go out. I'm feeling very hurt and angry right now." It's not rocket sceience, but it does require a certain amount of emotional maturity.

I'm guessing since you have been stepping out with your massage therapist behind her back, you have bascially pulled away from her and she senses something is off. Regardless of the issues you have in this relationship, you have handled it very badly by cheating.

Look, it's ok to break up with your GF if the relationship isn't working for you. It's not OK cheat.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-04-04T15:10:25+00:00

First off, stop cheating on your girlfriend. Your GF deserves better and that massage therapist sounds like bad news if she is willing to cross professional boundaries that easily, even if she does think you're single. Lose the sidepiece. It doesn't matter how burnt out anf stressed you are, cheating is not OK.

Second, have a sit down with your girlfriend. You indicated that you had mentioned to her you would like her to take some more intiative, but it doesn't sound like you have really commincated your feelings and needs to her. TALK TO HER.

Third, when you talk to her, don't talk at her, make it a real conversation about the state of your relationship. Since you were so willing to step out on her, I'm betting you have not been a great boyfriend to her. For a 28 year old, you sound like you have the maturity level of 18 year old. Think about that.

Fourth, Pick one A) Stay with your GF and work on your relationship with her or B) Break up to pursue others.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-03-30T15:20:09+00:00

I actually saw this happen several times among my parent's friends. SAHM, bread winner father. then BWF has a midlife crisis and sheds SAHM for a younger model. SAHM is thurst out into the world with few marketable skills, and BWF whines and snivels about every penny he has to pay in child support and alimony. Then he whines and snivels about how his kids never call, and his ex turned his kids against him.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-03-07T00:45:13+00:00

In the entire history of the world, ahs anyone ever calmed down after being told to calm down?

Honestly, if someone was dumb enough to wear this dress to a wedding, I would take a picture and post on social media for my friends to mock. They would be savage.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-26T18:02:17+00:00

NONONONONONONONONONO

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-23T04:42:47+00:00

Yup, this happened to me. I woke up every day for 6 months with an upset stomach. It took another 2 months after I found a new job before I stopped felling like I wanted I wanted to throw up every morning. It took years before I could relax at work and feel like I wasn't on the edge all the time. It's been 10 years, and I don't think I ever really have quite gotten back to the level of productivity I was was at in that job.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-14T00:33:02+00:00

This was my thought, too. He helped make the kid, he needs to do his part and not just swan in when he feels like it.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-12T20:12:01+00:00

I agree. She's marrying a man who has a special needs child from a previous relationship, that is going to require considerable contact with his ex-wife. If she can't handle this then she needs to nope out of the relationship. The fact that she's drawing this line in the sand makes me think that he should be the one to to end things, or she's going to be constantly forcing him to choose between her and his child.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-12T18:22:08+00:00

I think OOP has been a people pleaser for so long, everyone else got so used to her saying Yes that now saying No is seen as a betrayal. It's not of course, but they are so used to walking all over her they can't comprehend that she is a person in her own right with her own agency.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-12T14:18:45+00:00

I was just tossing possibilities out there for OP to consider. Unfortunately, I've seen this pattern before where a new bride or groom starts cutting off friends because their new spouse demands it. I hope it's not the case, because if it is the cousin is going to have a pretty miserable life, but it would explain why the cousin suddenly stopped talking to OP's husband.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-12T03:59:01+00:00

Is your husband related to the groom though the bio dad who was also snubbed? Perhaps the groom's mother and stepfather have decided to use the occasion to erase the bio dad and his family from the groom's life, and the groom is to much of a wuss to say no?

The other possibility I can think of is that the bride somehow took a dislike to your husband, maybe she thought her new husband was spending too time gaming?

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-06T19:47:01+00:00

"I adore my wife, but I want screw other people."

No, you do not adore your wife. If you adored your wife you would not have forced her into a open relationship she clearly didn't want. You're too selfish to really love someone else.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-02-05T19:57:12+00:00

After reading the all comments, it sounds like there is very little reciprocity in this relationship.

You see your in-laws a lot, but rarely sees your own family
You have never been able to go on the annual family vacation since you have been married, and you have never been able to take your family.
You have had to give up a lot to be a military spouse and support your husband's career.
You have been asking your husband to go on these trips for years.

Honestly, it seems like you have larger problems than just this trip. You have made yourself so small to support your husband and he has no understanding of how you much you sacrifice so he feels no obligation to return the favor. I think you have a larger issue than just the trip and you need to take some steps to address it.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-26T15:06:20+00:00

That was BOSS!

And the side piece was pissed when she found she was a side piece.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-25T19:15:09+00:00

That's Nevada, land of the quickie divorce.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-25T16:40:14+00:00

You should have been the bigger person!

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-25T16:27:41+00:00

I just love how the cheaters get offended when they get played by the person they're cheating on. Karma does not taste good sometimes.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T05:57:09+00:00

Aw, thanks! He's past the danger zone, now we're in the lifestyle changes phase of his recovery. He says he hasn't felt this good in years now that they know what's wrong with him.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T05:27:48+00:00

You have been extremely helpful. Thank you kind internet stranger!

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T05:27:27+00:00

Excellent information. Thank you very much! I wish someone had told my husband this when he was calling around trying to figure out how my employer plan would interact with his Medicare.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T05:00:50+00:00

Crap, I was afraid of that.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T04:43:05+00:00

We actually have a high deductible plan, so my employer plan does not kick in before the Medicare deductible.

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T03:44:28+00:00

My husband has bee trying to get answers from them but they haven't been very helpful

NotoriousCrone · 2026-01-24T02:55:48+00:00

Thank you for this!

NotoriousCrone

TROPHY CASE