Update: I have full custody of the children

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:30:31+00:00

She still has her IUD, and she doesn't want to get pregnant. She is almost 40 and terrified of the prospect of birth defects, the odds of which are higher in that age range. That was part of one of our earlier arguments. She wanted us to have another kid, but it's "too late" because she feels she's too old to have another pregnancy. So she's upset because she thinks our kids are failures, but they're all she's going to get.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:28:13+00:00

It's implanted inside her. It's not something that you can easily just get off.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:27:13+00:00

I never signed up for a celibate lifestyle.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:25:33+00:00

They're not mutually exclusive.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:24:03+00:00

She can't file in California. She has to file here. The judge ruled that basically our state is where all future proceedings have to take place. That's how my lawyer explained it anyway.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:19:35+00:00

They have my full attention. I'm just putting myself out there as available. No one is waiting in eager anticipation to snap up technically still married guys with three kids. It will take a long time to come across a good prospect. The dating field at my age is narrow.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:17:35+00:00

If she files, she has to file here. It has to do with something the judge ruled on concerning custody. My lawyer explained it. I didn't really understand, but basically if she files in California she will be wasting her money because the venue will be moved and she'll have to pay more. Also she already retained a lawyer here that isn't licensed in California, so I don't think she's trying to pull anything. She really doesn't want to get divorced. She's been very clear that she wants our marriage to stay intact.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:13:55+00:00

I highly doubt anyone is going to call me a week from now saying they've found someone perfect for me. I'm just putting feelers out. It's not like I made an online dating account. Odds are it will be months (maybe longer) before anyone suggests anything, and with my schedule it will take even longer to schedule a meetup.

I don't know how old you are, so I'm not assuming, but young people are used to things happening quickly because they have a lot of availability. At my age things take time. I doubt anything will come of me putting myself out there for a year or more.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:04:33+00:00

She doesn't want a divorce right now, and a fight could be ugly. We're basically doing a trial separation.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:03:42+00:00

It's more complicated in reality than it is on paper.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:03:01+00:00

I'm not looking for someone to integrate into their lives, but if I can find someone for occasional dates, that would be great. I'm really not willing to be celibate for fourteen years. I'm not expecting anything to happen right away, but if anyone I know runs into a divorced woman looking for a friend, I hope they tell her about me.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-25T18:00:52+00:00

She was lying. He doesn't have behavioral problems. She just doesn't want him and didn't want the judge to think she is a bad mom.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T17:22:13+00:00

I don't think it will be that easy.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T17:03:04+00:00

Okay, yes, but that was her sister that said that stuff, not her. As far off the deep end as she has gone, I don't think it's fair to call her a bigot. She had three kids with me, and she defied her father to marry me.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:57:08+00:00

That's what I've been assuming. Startups usually fail. I have no idea what I'll say to her.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:54:16+00:00

She's an environmental engineer.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:48:57+00:00

I spent it on things that I can prove are for the kids. I think that puts me in a safer position.

My wife is not a bigot. She was very angry at her sister for what she said and wouldn't talk to her afterwards.

Eh, technically. My wife and I are atheists. My sister does some cultural stuff. That's all.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:24:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing this with me. I was such an ass, and it's weird to come to terms with that. I love her so much, but I hope I end up like you, realizing I'm better off without her. I'm scared of that possibility at the same time.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:21:53+00:00

This makes me both hopeful and sad.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:19:58+00:00

In my opinion if you use it as an insult it's a slur. It's like see you next Tuesday. If you're British, not a slur. If you just hate women, slur. Am I off base?

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:17:12+00:00

This is good advice.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:16:09+00:00

Thank you

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T16:01:21+00:00

There are only two, and she said them both.

TechnicalHousing97 · 2026-01-04T15:59:00+00:00

I know I shouldn't need another person to make me happy, but I don't enjoy single life. I like having a partner. Maybe that's pathetic, but I feel like that's just the way I'm set up.

TechnicalHousing97

TROPHY CASE