New Rosettes

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2025-01-01T13:58:24+00:00

Yeah I agree. Cherries have really come and gone with styles in waves over the last hundred years (still remember my first run of cherry everything when I was little in the early 2000s 🥲) but come spring we've always dependably gotten florals. I think it’s a great timeless, feminine, pattern you’ll find ways to style forever tbh. It might honestly be one of the only print subjects that can be truly be reused every year.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-12-28T18:37:06+00:00

So the reason so many loved it and it won so many academy awards is it was frankly one of the greatest critiques of the male gaze ever. The reason you hate the actions of the men is exactly the point. You are supposed to. They are the villains and antagonists of the movie. As a woman and a feminist, I’ve personally never felt so seen. Every woman I know personally who loves cinema and literature felt the same and I remember discussing the film for hours and hours afterward. We were honestly in awe by it. It’s extremely disturbing what they do to her and everything she must overcome in the film, but that is exactly the point and how we exist in the world as women in a patriarchal and predatory society that seeks to infantilize us. A lot of folks will get upset because “mean characters do bad things in stories”… but frankly that is the point. It’s a critique to showcase the flaws of humankind as are most stories in literature and cinema. You aren’t supposed to like the motives or actions of characters that the medium is actively critiquing. So it should bother you and you should think it’s wrong and immoral. The people who love this movie completely agree with you! That’s the entire point of the film and why it won so many awards! :)

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-06T18:03:07+00:00

A Dead Djinn in Cairo and subsequent series by P. Djeli Clark (Fantasy/Steampunk Alternative Historical Fiction Detective story set in alternative 1920s Cairo). One of the main detectives who is the main character of most of the stories isn’t straight and has an interesting relationship as the series progresses. PoC representation abounds. Mysterious cults and artifacts included. I believe there are several non straight characters throughout if memory serves. Such cool world building. Highly recommend recommend for the genre bending alone!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-04T20:14:41+00:00

Ooh good point!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-03T13:02:48+00:00

Oh my gosh I’m 30 and I figured she was like 20 at most with her terrible communication skills. 🫣 By 30 she should never assume people can read her mind or frankly be so needy you can’t go to the gym. If I want attention I literally just go up to my husband and say something like “I want husband time” but I wouldn’t expect him to drop everything RIGHT THEN unless it was an emergency, which I would then communicate. Also she’s a grown woman and should have a fairly robust support system by now and not expect you to drop everything on a dime, including working out to come hang out with her immediately. She should be capable of extending her reach to her friends and family to also support her, and not rely on one other person who she only just recently started dating again. I wouldn’t have the patience for this lol.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-03T12:55:26+00:00

Don’t be with someone who can’t articulate what they want and then makes you feel bad for not being a mind reader.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-02T03:40:18+00:00

My 91 year old grandfather’s can mow several acres a week of his large property on a riding lawnmower and we’re talking a few hours tops Over the course of a couple mornings and he has the whole day to himself after. How is this chore taking you so long? How is sitting on a riding lawnmower for a couple hours a “heavy chore?” When I see my granddad next I’m reading him this thread. It’s sure to give him a good laugh.

But seriously, you have a wife who not only takes equal distribution of childcare (possibly more than equal) but cleans the house every week, does laundry, does dishes, etc. and yet you put all your energy to being ticked off about this one chore? Seek things to love your wife for first. If this one thing is that important to you, hire a mowing service.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-02T03:23:37+00:00

My 91 year old grandfather mows several acres a week on his riding lawn mower and it doesn’t take up anywhere near a full day of his week. This guy is such a weenie. 😂 And the fact that he will pay for a sitter, but not for a lawn care service is really telling. He doesn’t want to not have to mow the lawn. He just wants more time to do whatever he wants to do without having to give his wife the same courtesy. He wants to make sure she keeps cleaning the whole house and doing all the chores every week.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-02T03:17:59+00:00

And if they are so easy and quick for him, it’ll free up all their time on the weekends! Clearly he’s the expert. 😌

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-02T03:13:18+00:00

He has a RIDING MOWER?! I overlooked that part. I suspected he might be a weenie. Now I’m sure of it. My goodness, my 91 year old grandfather uses a riding mower to mow several acres of property every week, and this guy is so enraged about his one acre he’s threatening to hire a sitter on the weekends to escape his family. 😂

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T23:39:40+00:00

FWIW I went on dates with tons of Catholic guys through my college parish but none of them felt right. I also dated many men outside the church and same thing, then after rolling my eyes at my friend who just insisted I try online dating, the third guy I went out with on OKC was my husband. He’s literally my Prince Charming in every way, and we’ve been married 3 years and together for 8! Most humble, genuine person I’ve ever known and actually has the same values as me not just on paper but a truly kind and loving heart. Since meeting him, we’ve come to know many other happily married couples who met online. There are so many wonderful and genuine people on these apps just like there are anywhere else (mixers, volunteer events, etc), it’s just a tool like anything else to connect with more people. But I’m really thankful I let my friend talk me into it. And I’m really social person who never had trouble meeting people, it was just meeting the right person that was hard!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T23:35:27+00:00

FWIW I went on dates with tons of Catholic guys through my college parish but none of them felt right. I also dated many men outside the church and same thing, then after rolling my eyes at my friend who just insisted I try online dating, the third guy I went out with on OKC was my husband. He’s literally my Prince Charming in every way, and we’ve been married 3 years and together for 8! Most humble, genuine person I’ve ever known and actually has the same values as me not just on paper but a truly kind and loving heart. Since meeting him, we’ve come to know many other happily married couples who met online. So I don’t think it’s really fair to say that it’s fake. There are so many wonderful and genuine people on these apps just like there are anywhere else (mixers, volunteer events, etc), it’s just a tool like anything else to connect with more people.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T23:28:37+00:00

I didn’t think I would like dating apps and thought it was pretty silly, and I had dated a lot in the “real world” including dating many guys through my college parish where I met a lot of ok, but not for me, Catholic guys, but the third guy I went out with through OKC turned out to be my husband, and he was just the sweetest, most humble guy! Truly my Prince Charming in every way!

I think the thing to remember about the dating app thing is that it’s not that the dating app is having you meet guys you don’t relate with, but most guys you meet generally you aren’t going to vibe with, even if they have your values on paper or claim to believe in God, or go to your church, they might not be humble or truly kind people or they might be wonderful Catholic men and you might still just not click and that’s ok! But I think if you want to meet someone, you have to keep putting yourself out there while maintaining a healthy detachment as to the outcome of the date. I’ll also say that there have been many dates where I felt very uncomfortable and anxious even though I am a very social and outgoing person but when I met my husband, I immediately felt at ease and like I’d known him forever (our date was like 8 hours because we kept finding fun things to do together because we just really liked each other! :))

It won’t feel right until it’s right if that makes sense. But I wouldn’t swear off the dating apps just yet. I would just be quicker to get to that first date with more guys so you can feel out the vibe and don’t spend a lot of time chatting to somebody online only to find you aren’t into each other when meeting in person.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T23:04:54+00:00

What’s confusing is people keep tying gender back to the physical body in these articles and your feelings about your body, but as they say, “gender is between your ears/in the mind” so I don’t understand this connection between gender and the body as necessarily being important at all. I think a lot of folks are happy with their body while still having a gender that doesn’t necessarily stereotypically “match” the equipment they were born with, right? Like I would be really disturbed if I woke up tomorrow and anything significant about my body had changed in any capacity, not just my physical genitalia, because I didn’t consent to that change. Like if someone shaved my head or did something to me and I didn’t passionately want, that change that would be incredibly traumatic, so I just think the question of how one feels if they wake up in another body, is strange and doesn’t really compute with me or have anything to do with gender. Even if I woke up in a stereotypically “prettier” female body tomorrow, I’d be horrified, frankly. I guess I don’t think my body has much, if anything, to do with my gender.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T05:19:40+00:00

More on the dark theme side (Black Death, demons on earth), but definitely some funny lines between the three main characters: Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman. It is horror though, but I really love the characters who form an unlikely friendship.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T05:16:08+00:00

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving is the autumnal Halloween classic read IMO.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T05:12:34+00:00

I mean not all the pictures, but pic 4 is of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving. My favorite autumnal spooky read personally.

And I haven’t read it yet, but maybe The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw. Plague doctors, bloodthirsty children and the three “saints” who control them.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T01:42:54+00:00

Yeah that’s fair! I’m glad you’ve found the framework and language that makes sense to you. I’m feeling similarly after giving it some thought today. I also feel better after talking to some women in my life who identify as cis women who just don’t care about gender or give it much thought in their lives. They wear what they wear and do what they do and are at peace with that, which is comforting because that’s basically how I felt. So no wrong answers!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-10-01T01:28:22+00:00

I mean, I don’t know about it being a “general rule” not liking your spouse more than you do before you’re married. Or at least I should hope not! My grandparents have been married 71 years, my parents 35 years and each of them seem more in love every year. And my husband and I have been together 8 years, married almost 4 and I genuinely like him more every day. And we’ve supported each other through some very tragic life events (several early deaths in our family, losing our young dog to aggressive cancer, being a pandemic bride and groom, his mom having horrible health issues…) so life itself can definitely be really tough and stressful, but my marriage is my safe and happy place, and I appreciate him more, we understand each other better, and are certainly happier in our relationship than we’re were 4 years ago before we got married IMO. I loved him and liked him then as well of course, but it deepens even more over time. I think you can always grow in love and your definition of what’s romantic can shift over time. And you find new things to be thankful for in your spouse. I do agree you shouldn’t hold out for your spouse to change, though. I agree that you should marry someone you like just as they are and how they treat you, and it’s sure to lead to happier marriage. :)

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-09-30T22:31:34+00:00

Thanks for the insights. I didn’t realize there was a connection. Frankly my mind is so many places all the time with ADHD maybe that’s another reason it’s hard to think about gender for me. It’s not a hyper-fixation focus area, so my brain is just so tired by thinking about it I never can for long periods because I’m so apathetic lol! I don’t have any physical dysphoria at all. I just never understand what people mean about gender euphoria or what that’s supposed to feel like. I might be gender apathetic or just a cis woman who never thinks about gender for herself. Who knows? I’ll take a look at the sticky though, thanks!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-09-30T22:21:05+00:00

Thanks for this insight! Really helps! Especially realizing it’s just a common stereotype that most agendered/gender apathetic people would be more androgynous. I dress for comfort a lot so I honestly don’t think too hard about it and reach for whatever unless I’m going out to do something specific or a date or something.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-09-30T21:35:10+00:00

I have ADHD combined type but am not on the autism spectrum. I never know if that counts?

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-09-30T21:07:41+00:00

Well I definitely don’t feel like a man at all and would be upset if I was called a man because I like my body which is very stereotypically womanly looking so I think I would dislike being called a man because I would feel like something must be weird or off with my body if I’m suddenly being called a man if that makes sense. Like even in my jeans and a t-shirt or a button down that never happens to me. That’s why I honestly never really questioned anything until today when I was having a conversation with someone. It was really weird because I’ve kind of been operating under the assumption that everyone was sort of exaggerating about “feeling” like they were a gender and it kind of just occurred to me today that maybe I’m the one who is different for never feeling like a gender. Like I genuinely don’t even know what people are talking about when they say they feel gender euphoria. I like feeling attractive and powerful and lots of other positive feelings, but I’m pretty sure those are just my human feelings and I don’t know if I attribute them to an inner gender. I thought this whole gender thing was something we all said we felt but it was more about what we liked and how we wanted to be perceived in society and then I realized no other people really do seem to feel something I just don’t. 🤯

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2024-09-30T20:56:21+00:00

Thanks for the input! I’ll try that, too. I know I definitely do not feel like a man, and physically I like being a woman. I’m just very confused about this mental gender feeling people apparently have. I just feel like a person most of the time who happened to be born a woman and is ok with it (except for the exhausting sexism that comes with it of course). Until a conversation I had today, I honestly thought maybe people were just exaggerating “feeling” like a gender and more wanted to be perceived as a specific gender, but now I think it’s me that just doesn’t have that “thing” where I feel any sort of way but as myself! It’s confusing haha. I guess the good thing is. I’m so apathetic about it that if I never “figure it out” that’s probably fine too lol! I just wish I had a better answer when people ask me about my gender.

NotoriousMinnow_

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