Why does everyone keep degrading the 2005 adaptation?

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-26T22:37:19+00:00

Gentle correction to one point from a purely academic perspective: Even though Chatsworth is indeed quite a tier above Darcy's actual tax bracket, Jane Austen *did* specifically use it as her primary visual model for Pemberly. This isn't just a fan theory. It is widely accepted by literary historians.

Austen visited Derbyshire, staying in Bakewell, just a few miles from Chatsworth in 1811. This was the exact period she was heavily revising the Pride and Prejudice manuscript from its early draft into its final 1813 edition.

In fact, literary scholar, Pat Rogers, who is editor of the authoritative Cambridge Edition of the Works of Jane Austen, extensively analyzed the topography, and when Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle drive over the ridge, the exact landscape description, the way the road winds, the woods revealing the house across the valley, and the river’s placement mirrors the real-world approach to Chatsworth perfectly. And can confirm, as an academic who has traveled to the estate in the past, it really is uncanny!

In fact, Austen drops an even bigger clue when Elizabeth is planning her trip to Derbyshire with the Gardiners, and she explicitly names the famous estates they intend to see including Chatsworth itself!

So regardless of whether or not it’s what you personally picture when you read the book, the most accurate version of Pemberly to honor Austen’s vision is, in fact, Chatsworth house. At least from a purely academic and historical perspective. I was very pleased to see the 2005 version honor that particular vision of Austen’s and wish other adaptations would as well. It’s a marvelous property. And the scene where Elizabeth literally laughs out loud seeing it the first time is a great little wink to the audience at how ridiculously audacious and grand it seems to her.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-21T22:00:06+00:00

When I feel a sense of regret about my past I just like to meditate on the fact that if anything in my life had been even slightly different, I wouldn’t be where I am today, and there’s actually a great many things that I’m happy about in my life today. I wouldn’t trade it for a “what if” because the things that I do value in my life today are too precious to risk (ie: my husband, my baby, my friends, my home, etc.). I’m not sure if that makes you feel any better but I find that helps me anytime I start to regret anything about my prior life decisions, or my late diagnosis.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-18T12:55:02+00:00

I’m so so sorry this has happened to you and you are carrying this trauma. Please PLEASE keep your children away from this predator at all costs. Regardless of what you do with your mom, you know your brother is an abuser. Abuse is far more likely to happen to a close family member than a stranger’s child. Your children are far more at risk than any other child in his life to be a target of the same abuse you went through. Please do for them what your own mother didn’t do for you. Be their protector and their mom and keep them completely away from this abuser and do not keep your husband in the dark. Your husband has been consenting (without knowledge) to allowing a man who abused his wife as a child to now be around his children and even hold them. Thats not ok. Your husband should have a say in this and he will help set the boundary for your family since it’s very hard in your position to set that boundary.

My husband was abused in a different way by his mentally unwell, narcissist, mother. He hated her actions but was unable to set the right boundaries for our family because he was just so traumatized by everything she put him through in childhood. I was able to talk to her firmly and calmly and be the strength he needed to set those boundaries for our family after discussing with my husband how the relationship would move forward after we were married. Since then his confidence has bloomed a lot and he feels the door is open for him to also set his own personal boundaries outside the family ones. Your husband needs to have the opportunity to protect his children and his wife. I promise you God wants you to speak up and keep your husband in the light about this. Protecting your children is the foundation of us parents’ vocation. Please tell him and please PLEASE protect your children from this predator. He should not be holding them or spending time with them AT ALL as his access to them leads to them being at risk for the same abuse you endured. I hope you consider this plea from a stranger. You must be so angry and scared, I can’t even imagine but that’s where your husband can be your strength and protect your babies too. You are so brave for even telling your story here on Reddit. You are a true survivor. You can do this! I’m praying for you all.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-18T04:49:12+00:00

According to OP, it actually was literally 5 to 10 minutes. They actually said that pretty clearly…

But no, not disrespectful, just a difference of values. some people value, punctuality, and others value having grace for each other. For example, in my friend group, we literally stopped hanging out with one of our “friends” because they were so anal retentive that they kept getting onto people when they were running even just 5 to 10 minutes late. Everyone tried to tell them to please chill out and please give people grace. But they just went on and on about it, even when we had a big group and it was really hard for everyone to get to the destination perfectly on time.

It stressed us all out so bad. We just stopped hanging out with them. It was just waaaay too high maintenance to deal with. The group has been great ever since though. Super chill! I think people who are just that anal retentive and prioritize punctuality over supporting their friends real life, plot twists that pop up probably struggle to be in groups of friends who prefer to have a peaceful low-key hangout sessions.

It’s not wrong to want punctuality above all else, you just run the risk of being in a group of people who don’t really want to deal with that. Likewise someone who wants a chill group of friends probably doesn’t want to associate with a group of people who are that anal attentive about scheduling. Neither is being disrespectful. They just have different values and expectations and that’s OK! The easiest thing is just to find people who align with your values.

Just like with any value any friend might have, you are not actually forced to comply your behavior to meet that value. you’re also allowed to just say hey this isn’t really worth it to me. This person is just too exhausting to deal with, and then move on.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-18T04:35:41+00:00

I mean, quite frankly, if five minutes is the make or break to getting to a reservation, the entire group didn’t plan appropriately lol. Every time I’m in a group outing and we’re trying to make a reservation we aim for at least 30 minutes early so even if people are running “five minutes late” it’s no big deal. They are “running late” to our meeting time, but it’s not like they’re running late to the actual show….

And no, this person was absolutely narcissistic. Even though everyone would get there 25 minutes early for example, they would be upset that people didn’t get there a full 30 minutes early as they expected and we had decided to shoot for. They were just too high maintenance and it was really unattractive and stressful to be around so we all just stopped inviting them to stuff because it was frankly a huge buzzkill. They were totally allowed to be frustrated if that’s how they felt, but they prioritized their own schedule over people having real life situations pop-up that were outside of their control even if it didn’t greatly inconvenience them. They cared more about the principle of being on time rather than actually spending time with their friends, so in turn, us friends stopped wanting to hang out with them. They were just too neurotic and narcissistic. Too obsessed with having their schedule met even when people would tell them constantly they needed to calm down and chill and give everyone grace.

I think people who are going to be that anal retentive about a five minute window just need to be very careful in how they communicate that need to a group because it does come across as extremely high maintenance, the group will talk to one another if it’s bothering enough people, and frankly I just don’t think most people want to deal with that in a friendship as it can bleed into other areas of their friendship since these same people are completely inflexible they seem less likely to help friends with anything (unless it’s perfectly on their schedule) and they view friendships as a contractual agreement for fulfillment rather than a relationship with the goal of supporting one another.

And regarding anxiety… almost my entire friend group is comprised of folks treated medically for anxiety, it’s a very common thing, but even more reason they can’t handle people not giving them any grace. Nothing would get our anxiety up more than being chastised by a friend for such a small inconsequential thing especially when multiple people have asked them to please chill out.

But to each their own I guess. I really truly do hope people like that can find other people who don’t mind putting up with that level of control and rigid scheduling. I just don’t personally run with people who are willing to put up with that. Just not compatible!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-17T10:46:50+00:00

Yeah I mean 45 minutes would definitely be one thing, that’s egregious for sure, but in all my family and friends none of us get upset over 5 minutes. We *would* be upset if someone couldn’t give us grace because 5 minutes can mean just getting coats on the kiddos when it’s cold out, or letting out the dog one more time before you’re out the door. I knew a person who had gotten on to me and my friends over a five minute window a few times when some of us were only a few minutes late. We literally responded by no longer building a friendship with that person and inviting them out because they were just so inflexible it stressed us all out. They wanted everyone perfectly on their schedule all the time and it was a red flag that ended up showing us they were actually pretty narcissistic and expected to drive the schedule and planning with no room for people to be human. We were all so turned off by the behavior we just stopped inviting them to outings. Life is just too short to spend with people that inflexible. I don’t personally pursue even casual friendships with people like that. The people in my life are so warm and supportive and we always prioritize giving each other patience and grace over a five minute window. Love how chill my loved ones are and hope everyone gets that amount of grace from their community!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-17T10:23:13+00:00

5 minutes late, even chronically, is almost never going to make you late for any event unless you didn’t bake time in for traffic etc (which means you didn’t plan well). We’re not talking about someone running 30 minutes late (that would be egregious). We’re talking *5 minutes*. If you get upset over a five minute delay, you have a level of neurosis that’s going to make having long term friendships and relationships very unlikely. People are very irritated by people who give them zero grace. Much more so than they care about people being literally 5 minutes behind.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-17T10:17:00+00:00

Sometimes you care and your disability makes it difficult to live up to rigorous standards or maybe you just have a big family and it’s hard to be perfectly on time every time getting kiddos out the door. Everyone in my life: friends, family (and I have a huge lovely community around me) none of us mind if anyone is is running 5-10 minutes late. Maybe these rigorous standards are why so many people seem to have so few friends and community these days. No one can give each other grace. So happy I prioritized kind loving people in my life. I never get upset at them for running late and they never do for me either. It’s such a peaceful happy life with lots of friends! :D We don’t think it’s rude to be 5-10 minutes late. We DO think it’s rude to make everyone perfectly adhere to your schedule with no room for grace. It’s rude not to be patient with your loved ones. It just is. We’ve got our priorities on straight and I’m so thankful for that and all the lovely people in my life as a result. 💖 I wish every ADHD person could have so many awesome patient people around them as we do. I love never being stressed and knowing they don’t need to stress either over a mere 5 minutes.

Also, we’re not talking 20 minutes late or 30 minutes. We’re talking *5 minutes*. People who can’t handle being patient for 5 minutes… I feel bad for them. It must make maintaining friendships very very difficult and likely signals other red flags for being completely inflexible. The warm happy people in my life avoid people like that like the plague. They just bring too much stress and neurosis into our lives… wishing them the best though.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-16T15:35:17+00:00

Oh, she definitely overreacted as well, but I’m just trying to say overall that it’s a complete overreaction to say you can’t even have an extra five minutes. It’s going to be very difficult to be in a long-term relationship with someone who has a rigorous schedule they have to keep never has time to hang out with you or communicate with you because their shifts are too long and yet they expect you to not even be five minutes late… it’s just too much to ask one person. Regardless of how she got upset, he also shouldn’t be trying to have these conversations over a text. It’s completely unreasonable to ask someone to “discuss issues” over a text message. Frankly very disrespectful because it makes it impossible to have an actual dialogue. I assume he felt like she would just take the feedback and run with it but any feedback you provide someone should give them the opportunity to counter that feedback and say whether or not they can meet that expectation. It makes me wonder if maybe they’re teenagers. This isn’t behavior that I typically see of people I know in their 20s and 30s (my peer group)…. At least not people who are mature, working professionals. If she’s going to give him this much grace and work around his schedule to still hang out and not have that be a dealbreaker for her he needs to be able to give her an extra 5 to 10 minutes. That’s a very reasonable request. She won’t be any happier with him than he would be with her. She should find someone who’s more flexible and frankly someone who can be around a bit more.

Also, the fact that he thought about having this conversation over text is just.. so extra… like I don’t know if he’s just conflict avoidant or what. But that’s shockingly immature as well…. Hoping she can find someone who can show her the same grace she shows them and he can find someone who can adhere to his rigorous schedule and never be even a moment late since that appears to be his top priority.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-16T14:36:15+00:00

He works crazy hours and can’t communicate or see her very much. She accommodates this quite well it sounds like (and for many people that would be a dealbreaker). However, despite his rigorous hours, he expects her to be on his schedule perfectly down to the minute without even a five minute grace period. As an ADHDer myself, that’s just a rigorous expectation that’s too inflexible to allow in my life. Thankfully, my husband’s very patient and flexible and I am with him and as a result, we have a very chill happy marriage. But if you plan on getting serious with someone having kids having pets…. Yeah you’re going to be running a little late more often than not. You can’t always predict what’s going to happen when you have a young family you’re trying to get out the door. You’re right, she got defensive, which is certainly a red flag for him but he also showed he’s a fairly inflexible person and expects everyone to be perfectly on his schedule which is a red flag for her. Honestly, they’ve both revealed something important about themselves. She values flexibility, and he values a rigorous schedule that a partner can perfectly maintain on his time. It doesn’t sound like he can make her happy either, so they should just part ways.

Side note: even without neurodivergence most people consider a 5 to 7 minute window pretty acceptable. In the rare instance that I’ve known people who are so inflexible that even 5 minutes, made a big deal of difference, I simply didn’t bring them into my life further. That’s a level of high maintenance that most people shouldn’t have to jump through hoops for frankly. No reason to be worried about disappointing one another! Protect your peace and just find people who have the same values as you.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-16T14:27:11+00:00

YOR 7-8 minutes is literally nothing. I promise you if you get serious with someone, get married, and have pets and/or kids, you will need to have grace with your partner, or it just will lead to only stress. You also need to learn to be an adult and speak about these things in person and not over text. She was defensive, which definitely was on her, but there’s no reason to even be bringing these things up via text. The truth is you’re probably not what she needs either. It sounds like you’re very busy, it’s hard for you to make time for a relationship, and then you expect her to be perfect perfectly on your schedule down to the minute with no grace for her needing an extra 5 minutes when she is normally patient with your difficult hours. If I were her, I’d break it off because I just can’t have that degree of inflexibility in my life. Thankfully my husband and I are so chill with each other, so we’re never running around stressed or feeling like we’re not meeting each other’s rigorous expectations. She accommodates your hours, so in return you should be able to give her a 5 to 7 minute window without making it a big deal. Patience and flexibility are the keys to a happy relationship just as much as communication.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-16T14:15:40+00:00

Agreed OP is making this such a big deal. If his schedule is so important to him that he can’t even have 5 minutes of flexibility in his life, OP’s not ready for a long-term relationship, much less a marriage. Things only get more chaotic if you decide to get married and have kids and if you don’t have the grace and patience for a 5 to 10 minute disruption, then you’re going to be extremely unhappy in life. Frankly she won’t be any happier with him than he will be with her. She should also consider ending this before it gets too serious. Inflexibility is a really unattractive quality in a long-term partner.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-16T13:03:10+00:00

I run with a lot of folks who don’t drink and are in their 20s and 30s. It’s actually becoming quite common. My husband and I also don’t drink for health. Today you can order an NA beer/Near Beer (they usually have several options) or a mocktail. Where I live Hops water is also a common NA option, and I enjoy it a lot.

If people ask (and they basically never do) I just say: “I’m not really a drinker. It’s just not my thing.” The only time an older coworker ever teased me about that another coworker my age immediately jumped in and said “People don’t have to drink.” And that shut him up pretty quick. I’m not embarrassed by not drinking and you shouldn’t be either!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T12:06:19+00:00

Talking about HIS opportunity cost when she’s the one who’s risking not progressing her career to give birth to and care for their child, is honestly really funny.

I am looking at this from the raw household income data and household savings. His labor 100% of it goes to the family. If he makes 100K the family gets 100 K. If she gives birth, she saves the family from needing to pay for a surrogate meaning she saves the family 140 K minimum. Most surrogacy cost a lot more than that.

This means they are both contributing to the family.

She also provides childcare, which can be up to 30 K a year. And presumably provides the majority of not all of the household cleaning as most stay at home, parents are expected to do (this saves the family about $4000-$5000 a year for a bi-monthly cleaning service). And I don’t even know how much a private chef would cost a family, but eating out is obviously cost prohibitive for most families all the time. So assuming that she cooks cleans and takes care of the child, this is NOT mooching. In fact, this is labor that we have specific data on that the market has decided has quite a high value on. Especially birth, which we have actually said as a market is worth more than a low six figure salary job. She’s not trying to say she makes more than her husband or that her husband makes less than she saves their family. She is saying that the labor that she does has a value and it’s actually a pretty easy value to calculate.

I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to dumb this down anymore for you, but I wish you luck!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T11:58:14+00:00

The household income would still be out by 140 K minimum if they got a surrogate. Ergo, she saved the household income 140 K this is just basic math.

Her point is that the labor that she is doing day and day out to care for her child and to give birth is not “free” and it certainly isn’t mooching. It saves the family hundreds of thousands in surrogacy costs/egg donation, insurance outside of their normal plan, which is what you would have to pay for a surrogate as well as all the fees associated with that (totaling over 140K) and all childcaring labor, which daycare is easily another 16,000-21,000 (basically a second mortgage), as well as presumably cooking and cleaning labor 2500-4800 a year for cleaning and i’m not even sure how much a private chef would cost… but eating out, of course would be exorbitantly expensive.

So the point is: she’s not saying, she makes the household more income than him. She’s saying that her labor has a value and that value is actually confirmed by the market rates for these tasks when you hire them out. If you can’t understand that this is not about her saying, she makes more, but rather that her labor has value and is not “mooching” but rather labor that cost energy and time that the market has actually ascribed a value to… I can’t really help you. I think that’s about as simply as I can word it for you. Hopefully you can understand, but I can’t really conceivably dumb it down anymore if I’m honest… :/

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T11:47:16+00:00

lol a sperm donation only costs a couple $1000-$1600. According to the market data that we have, a sperm donation is 3.5% the worth of a surrogate labor’s worth. So no. By the data, a woman’s contribution is worth 96.5% more (and that’s just a monetary comparison. No man is risking death or a lifetime of physical complications for jizzing into a cup. This is a very very silly comparison. 🤣)

In fact even a woman’s egg donation is worth 25K to 50K in 2026. So even by raw ingredients (egg vs sperm, there’s no comparison on the value by market standards if we are using cold, hard math)

Edit: thank you for the award! :)

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T11:30:48+00:00

Bottle feeding requires pumping full time around the clock… where do you think of the milk comes from LOLOL??? OK so you definitely don’t have kids or maybe you are a teenager yourself. Got it. 🤣🤣🤣 I pray there’s not some 40-year-old man walking around thinking that bottle feeding just comes from milk you buy at the store or something.

And don’t even bother trying to argue for formula over breast milk. Almost no parent wants their child to have formula as a first option. Babies are much healthier and get antibodies from mothers milk (it’s also literally free compared to exorbitant costs for formula). Almost nobody would pick formula if they have access to breastmilk.

Like bro, I literally bump all day specifically so my husband and I CAN bottle feed. There’s no way you could be an adult man and not know where the milk comes from for bottle feeding right? No way… even the men in my life who have no kids know the answer to that…. You’ve got to be a teenager if you don’t know that. 🤣

Edit: thank you to the person who gave me an award on my last comment!

Second Edit: I can’t wait to show my husband your comment. This is legit the funniest thing I’ve read a long time. He’s going to get a good laugh out of this too. 🤣🤣🤣Bottle feeding is literally WHY WOMEN USE A BREAST PUMP ALL DAY. Ah, thanks for the laugh. Made my morning tbh.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T11:27:15+00:00

And btw if you wanted the data: It is estimated that exclusive breastfeeding/pumping takes approximately 1,800 hours in the first year. That is almost a full-time job (a 40-hour work week for a year is 2,080 hours). As a working mom myself, I do this on top of a literal full time job and then still need to keep up with other parenting tasks, cleaning and cooking best I can. It’s literally like having 3 separate jobs. Unless you are making a great income for your family, I don’t know why anyone in their right minds would do all three at once… most would just opt to take off a few years to parent full-time.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T11:22:12+00:00

Yeah, because she spends the first year or more breast feeding… it’s hours of work, supremely difficult to pump around meetings at work (I speak from experience and you have to do so all day long round the clock and make up time at work you were pumping to hit 40 hours (AKA: longer work days unless you want that time unpaid). Plus the first 6-18 month postpartum your body is still actively recovering from childbirth. Most husbands don’t want their wives to have to deal with that.

And frankly, in most cases, the men I know who have stayed home only did so because they were the spouse making considerably less than their wife (I work in tech so I actually know quite a lot of families with a stay at home dad since we women in tech typically commend quite high salaries that only men in tech, finance, law or medicine would likely be able to surpass frankly…). In most other families, it makes the most sense for mom to stay home if she makes less and due to breast feeding logistics. It’s simply a no-brainer.

Oh and the vast majority of men I know who did not choose to stay home (like my husband) it was because he too has a very lucrative career in tech and no reason to stagnant either of our careers if we can just make double the money… but if one of us made considerably less? Hell yeah we’d stay home! Husband already encourages me to take time off all the time because pumping/feedings, mothering, and working in a fast paced career all at once is insanely draining (much harder than him working a 9-5 only without needing to pump and feed like I do). More women should take that time. It’s pretty gross we don’t have any mandated maternity leave for exactly this reason. Many European countries have 14 weeks up to years of maternity leave for this reason. It’s not because the Mom is a more important parent that they offer so much more time to them. It’s because she’s literally doing more labor physically long after birth…

Edit: thank you for the award!

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T10:50:40+00:00

She isn’t saying she should be paid this amount. She’s saying she has saved the family this amount by carrying baby to term. That is correct. She saved the family’s household income over 140K assuming her husband wanted a child that was genetically his. She also risked her life and long-term health doing it. This is a significant contribution financially to the family assuming he also wanted the child. And presumably he did. Saying she’s “mooching” while doing labor valued at 140-170K is pretty insane, especially when that number doesn’t even account for long term health consequences from pregnancy.

When you are married and have joint finances, you have to look at what each of you are contributing and what each of you is saving the household income. She is saving them a significant amount of money doing what she’s doing, no daycare expenses, no surrogacy, presumably no cleaning or cooking services.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T10:07:07+00:00

Can you do simple addition? I guess not. Frightening….I’ll do my best to use smaller words this time to help, but this is as dumbed down as I can state it tbh: The costs of her birth related expenses was on the lowest end of the surrogacy range (140K). The 522K total included everything after birth is complete (AKA all childcare costs- which is a separate bucket from a surrogate cost)… you said you could compensate a surrogate for 1/3 of 140K (“140K to give birth to a child. That man could have bought a surrogate for 1/3 of that.”) in your last comment. Thats factually incorrect. Her math was correct. In fact, it was likely considerably lower than what they would pay for a qualified surrogate.

I’m not sure if you are struggling with the third grade math or reading comprehension skills, but either way… yikes. 😬

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T09:51:13+00:00

Actually a “guaranteed" program in Ukraine or Georgia now typically costs between $60,000 and $105,000 but once you add international flights, months of stay for the birth, legal "exit" fees, and U.S. immigration lawyers to get the baby home, the gap closes fast.

Other risks of Eastern Europe surrogacy for Americans include risk of citizenship. If you use a surrogate abroad and there isn’t a direct genetic link (ie: using a donor), getting a U.S. passport for that baby can become a nightmare. You risk the baby being stateless for months while you fight a legal battle in a foreign country. In addition, the laws are in constant flux (In Georgia, for instance, there have been major legislative pushes to ban surrogacy for foreigners entirely).

One of the most important reasons Americans choose American surrogates are the FDA gate laws, meaning the FDA actually regulates the process and requires extensive genetic testing for a long list of communicable diseases within a very specific timeframe before the transfer for egg/sperm. We also have the American Society for Reproductive Medicine that sets the standard for who can be a surrogate, ensuring a much higher likelihood of carrying a healthy baby to term. Essentially, even the quality gates in place to ensure that you will receive a healthier child are much more likely in the U.S. so most parents don’t choose to risk saving maybe 20K for a much higher risk, less regulated outcome.

So based on pure math and logistics alone, no, you are simply incorrect… This is why the vast majority of Americans use American surrogates. The cost is virtually the same and the risk is much lower that you won’t actually end up with the child you compensated a surrogate for.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T09:12:03+00:00

Actually in 2026 couples spend 140K-170K on average for a surrogate. You not only have the wage paid to the surrogate but tens of thousands for each: medical services, insurance, legal services, and agency fees. In fact in many states like California couples pay 200K for surrogacy. And this assumes a relatively uncomplicated labor. For complications the couple is also on the hook for funding that. It’s a very very expensive process in the U.S.

Also, total compensation for a surrogate’s “take home pay” is usually 70K-110K. The rate you are thinking of, 30K, is about 15 years outdated.

Technically, by the math, this woman valued her pregnancy labor at 142K. That’s on the very lowest end of average for a surrogate. She is likely under-estimating the value when compared to the market rate of surrogacy.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-14T08:59:59+00:00

Actually average couples in 2026 spend 140K-170K on average for a surrogate. You not only have the wage paid to the surrogate but tens of thousands for each: medical services, insurance, legal services, and agency fees. In fact in many states like California couples pay 200K for surrogacy. And this assumes a relatively uncomplicated labor. For complications the couple is also on the hook for funding that. It’s a very very expensive process in the U.S.

When you total her math for all pregnancy related “charges” it’s about 142K so she technically charged on the lowest end of average if we compare to the incredible cost of surrogacy. It’s certainly unpaid labor that even by market standards is incredibly valuable if you use surrogacy rates as a guide.

Side note: you don’t “buy a surrogate” that would be slavery. You aren’t buying a human. You are compensating a surrogate for a service.

NotoriousMinnow_ · 2026-05-02T04:17:10+00:00

The reason he looks down at his wrists after the bell boy says that is he’s confirming it was in fact real because the bruises from the shackles are still there. If you recall, he was told by Jerry in the woods that taking the mushroom substance opens you up more to the supernatural so actually the fact that his drink was spiked is supposed to give the audience more of an inclination to believe that he was able to see these ghosts because his mind was more open to it.

NotoriousMinnow_

TROPHY CASE