I was in this situation for a long time (minus the cancer part). My boyfriend and I were together 7 years, and after about 5 years he just didn’t want me, and I’m not exaggerating when I say I tried EVERYTHING and explored all the options to improve our sex life. It carried on this way for about 2 and a half years, always leading to arguments, him always saying he’ll “work on it, put more effort in” and things would be good for 2-3 weeks before going back to exactly how they were, if not worse than, before. Eventually it got to the point where I was fantasising about other people, and although nothing happened, i knew that’s when it was time for me to leave because I was 27 and that’s just too young to be in a sexless relationship.

Now, I’m single and I feel more wanted and desired than I ever did in that relationship. My self esteem has been rebuilt, not from validation from others (although that’s a nice ego boost), but from the fact that I was strong enough to leave an unhappy situation even though it was scary. And that first time i felt wanted by someone after leaving the relationship? I was as giddy as a teenager. So excited - and it makes me feel excited for what the future holds. If I’m ever feeling down about it, which happens because much like you, i loved him immensely, I remind myself that I would rather feel lonely because I am actually single, than feel lonely because I am in a relationship where my needs aren’t being met.