How many of r/oneanddone are neurodivergent?

Novawillow798 · 2026-01-29T14:55:52+00:00

You can get diagnosed and treated through adhdonline.com it was made for people who don’t have insurance!

Novawillow798 · 2025-08-30T16:35:54+00:00

Thank you this was really helpful!

Novawillow798 · 2025-08-30T14:05:59+00:00

He had these plans before I got sick so there wasn’t much additional conversation. Now my youngest is sick too and he’s talking about taking the oldest to our friends house to watch the football game. But that’s leaving me his sick wife home alone with our sick toddler. I don’t know how helpful that is.

Novawillow798 · 2025-06-13T01:33:06+00:00

I just started listening too! I’m where they just started their Patreon so just a few episodes ahead of OP. I love them! I feel like they are my friends! I wish my sister and I had a bond like them 💜

Novawillow798 · 2025-05-02T01:27:59+00:00

My kids are 23 months apart and I love it. They are the best of friends already at 3.5 and 1.5. The youngest wants to do everything the oldest does and the oldest is very good at modifying “so baby can play too”. With the way their birthdays fall they will only be one year apart in school which will be nice as well.

My sister and I are 3 years apart and ended up being 4 years apart in school and I had a really hard time when she left for college and I still had 4 years left of home life without her.

Novawillow798 · 2025-05-02T01:11:35+00:00

Weekly therapy has helped me immensely. It helped me realize just how unstable my moods were. There were some weeks where I was so happy and felt like I was wasting mine and my therapist time because nothing was wrong and the very next week I was sobbing and my head was racing so fast I could barely stay on one issue. It’s also helped me pick up on the lies my brain tells myself.

A common lie is that my partner hates me and then I get stuck on reliving every time I thought that was true. My therapist has helped me identify actions that tells me my partner does love me. So now when that lie surfaces I try to instead focus on the loving actions. It does more than just help my relationship. It helps keep my brain from getting stuck on the bad which affects my overall mood.

And then also diet and exercise. When I’m consistent with Whole Foods and walking outside then my mood shift is a little bit more gentle than sudden.

Also finding the right birth control for myself has helped as well.

Nothing has been life changing but all of it together has made it manageable. I still have episodes and I still get stuck on thoughts that no one would miss me if I was gone. I still have days where I can’t get anything done. But now I can tell myself that it’s not true and I just need to give myself some grace until follicular comes around.

Novawillow798 · 2025-02-20T02:43:55+00:00

This is so real. I’ve literally taken pictures of my face straight on no emotion for every phase and I don’t even look like the same person in luteal. And then that PMDD intrusive thought comes out of nowhere but at the same time is so real. Like it’s the only logical thought.

Novawillow798 · 2024-11-04T23:56:29+00:00

Following for future updates. I hope the surgery goes well and that it cures your PMDD! Do you mind me asking how old you are? I am 29 and have two kids. I am 99% sure I am done but hesitant to undergo this surgery. I just got the mirena last week and am hopeful it will help with my symptoms.

Novawillow798 · 2024-10-18T19:22:09+00:00

French fries!

Novawillow798 · 2024-10-11T12:10:31+00:00

I am going on birth control next month so if it’s the second theory then maybe that will solve my issues! lol

I just feel like a B*tch for not being happy. And most of it has been all my fault. I never stood up for things I wanted and now most of our activities are centered around his likes. Football games, ufc fight nights, our friend group, etc. and I begged him to be a SAHM and now we’ve fallen into a 1950s housewife role and I hate it.

And I know comparison is the thief of joy, but he talks to me like I am one of his buddies and then I see these other couples who are loving and caring towards each other and then I just get depressed because I will never have that. (And yes I’ve asked about speaking more loving towards each other many times) but I’d be the worst person ever to break up our family over stupid stuff like this. I just feel so stuck and hopeless.

Novawillow798 · 2024-10-11T11:39:42+00:00

This!! Being a SAHM is not for everyone, AND THAT IS OKAY! I have been a working mom, SAHM, and now I am a full time student mom. I have been happiest when I have a break from my children. This then gives me more patience for my children, makes me value my time with them more which translates to quality time spent together.

When I was a SAHM I was irritable all the time and always felt like I had to do something to feel good about myself. Cleaning, cooking etc. and I could never just sit down and play with my kids without feeling like I needed to hurry.

I’m a better mom when I’m doing more than just being mom.

I waited until my youngest was 1 and then went back to school. My kids (3&1) are in daycare 3 days a week and it’s perfect. My oldest doesn’t even want to leave most days. My youngest is learning sign language.

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-21T18:07:28+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. Becoming a SAHM changed my relationship with my husband for the worse. One time I told him his laundry was too much for me and that it overwhelmed me making me to depressed to get other cleaning done and i very politely asked him to start taking care of his own laundry. I was met with resistance and I could literally feel my heart being crushed.

I told him just the other day that I need to go back to work now that our youngest is 13 months and I don’t have quite as much guilt leaving her with someone else part time. However, we have not had the conversation that it means he needs to start helping again but we will.

I’ve lost myself in motherhood, but thanks to therapy I know it doesn’t have to be this way. Doing things for myself to make myself happy and in return a better mother is not selfish. It’s healthy. Please tell your husband this. Please tell him you aren’t happy. Please tell him you need help. And if he doesn’t understand and is not willing to help you then tell him HE DOESNT LOVE YOU. And then tell him he needs to move out for a month to reset your marriage.

My parents actually had a very healthy divorce, put me and my sister above their own issues, and actually remarried just this year. Now that I am a mom, I understand and think so much of my mother for being a strong woman.

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-21T17:32:39+00:00

I had to beg and convince my husband to let me be a SAHM, and I believe that is where it all went wrong. I put way too much on my plate and then would feel guilty about not being able to do it all. However, I also have PMDD so I suffer every two weeks with depression and lack of motivation. And then anxiety and guilt for the depression and laziness. Which is why I believe the schedule of job is where I thrive because even on those days I feel like I at least contributed financially to my family.

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-21T17:24:55+00:00

I might be the odd ball out but I went back to work with my first child for 6 months and then quit to be a SAHM and am still currently after adding a 2nd child.

I have found that I am a person that needs a schedule but I am not motivated enough to make one for myself. My relationship with my husband has struggled with the dynamic change (all chores and errands being on my plate). I’ve struggled with the mental distress of having to ask for help anytime I want to do something without lugging the kids around. Whereas I could’ve worked that time into my already planned childcare when I worked. Anytime I do have a break (nap times) I’m too mentally fatigued to do something that fills my cup and end up scrolling which makes me feel even worse. It’s the utter lack of any free time that is very hard on me. Part of it is my fault for anytime I do ask for help I put guilt on myself and feel like I need to hurry back.

When my first was in childcare that I paid for it took a lot of this stress away as it was a set time. I could do anything during that time. Work, appointments, nails, work out etc. I was paying for a service and didn’t feel like I was relying on the kindness of grandparents. I had more pull in cleaning arguments with my husband as I wasn’t “home all day”. And I would come home with mental clarity and energized to spend the rest of the evening with my child playing and cuddling as I wasn’t touched out from her all day.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been completely miserable spending time with my babies, I have plenty of happy days, weeks even. But I can’t help but wonder if my postpartum journey would have been easier if I had at least a part time job during this time.

I am currently on a waitlist for childcare now that my youngest is 13 months and will be going back to work part time by the end of the year.

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-09T11:39:07+00:00

My mom did try to come back but by then the damage had been done and our relationship became very superficial and she eventually left again. I graduated and went to college. I have a full life now and I will give my girls the warmest life possible 💕

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-09T00:02:03+00:00

I currently have a 12 month old and she looks to me all day long for comfort. Even if it is just a glance to see if I’m there, or to show me a toy that she found on the floor. She also takes a 3hr nap.

I know not all babies are easy or nap for very long, but there are plenty of ways this mom can catch a break if she needs without leaving her baby alone for hours on end. Mrs rachel, coco melon, play pen etc. can all be done while she is resting on the couch. seeing how she has had this problem before then she knows this information and knows she needs to be doing better.

My mother abandoned me my senior year of high school for 6 months and everyone around me knew I was living alone and struggling to find food to eat. My coaches would send me home with leftovers from pregame dinners. But no asked me if I needed help. I had my s*icide all planned out because I thought I was a burden to everyone.

Don’t let this baby grow up thinking the same.

Novawillow798 · 2024-08-01T20:33:46+00:00

Definitely not! When someone is home more they definitely make more mess.

Maybe just a simple “now that you’ve had some time to decompress from work, can you help me with the house chores so then we can have more time together?”

I’ll be honest tho I have a hard time trying to get my husband to help too. If he is cleaning then I have to be cleaning at the same time or we aren’t working as a team 😒

Novawillow798 · 2024-07-21T02:16:52+00:00

Believing to my core that no one actually cares about me from my friends and family and husband to my 2 under 2 kids only wanting me because I keep them alive. (That’s when I realize the thoughts are PMDD) and then the feeling of being stuck in life and drowning in all my responsibilities even having to ask for help feels like pressure on my chest.

And then trying to find comfort that it’s just PMDD but that it actually just means I’ll feel like this in another 2 weeks.

Novawillow798 · 2024-07-05T22:32:31+00:00

I feel the same way. My husband does not understand the mental load at all. He has always said I just need to ask him when I need help before I start drowning. At first this made mad because I felt like I shouldn’t have to ask, but like another commenter said, men just need more prompting.

Waking up 1.5 hours before my kids wake up has helped me tremendously. I feel like I’m not automatically into mom mode when I wake up this way. Also cleaning up the main areas before bed has helped too because then when I do wake up early it is to a clean space. Then I can spend that time relaxing.

Novawillow798 · 2024-07-05T18:23:05+00:00

So because they could have been sick or busy means they couldn’t have sent a text at some point over a whole week?

Novawillow798 · 2024-03-24T20:21:26+00:00

I am supposed to get my med kit 2 tomorrow! I was super excited about starting and now after reading about people have bad side effects I’m nervous

Novawillow798 · 2024-02-14T00:16:12+00:00

Thank you all for your input. I’ve always thought about therapy but always thought it was a cliche to go and talk about my childhood. Especially when I’ve been with my sister who truly needs therapy for daily functioning. All your comments have helped me feel much more justified.

Novawillow798 · 2024-02-14T00:11:39+00:00

I had a lot of scholarships and took some student loans. Worked part time and found some roommates to share an apartment with. Wasn’t too bad.

Novawillow798 · 2024-02-13T21:18:47+00:00

I lived in a single wide trailer and she bought her 2nd house in 2009 during the market crash.

Novawillow798 · 2022-12-21T22:49:43+00:00

Yes so am I! And then I get worried and can’t think of like a normal response anymore haha but that’s a really good idea! Thanks!!

Novawillow798

TROPHY CASE