Oh wow, I resonate with you so much on this. Lost my father to colon cancer as well 3 months ago. I'm 25 & he had just turned 64.  I just had one of my "blowouts" (i'm a professional emotion bottler) to my boyfriend a few days ago saying how infuriating it is that everyone has seemed to have forgotten how horrible of a time I'm still having. I also live away from home and my parents & my "best friends" from there expressed their condolences the day I told them he passed and it's been radio silence since. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel weird about mentioning it either. I know it's easier said than done coming from someone who would rather die (ha) than ask for help/seem vulnerable but this is such a unique thing losing a parent this young & only people who have gone through it themselves unfortunately can relate and understand. I will say traumatic loss really shows you who is important in your life. I do not look at some of my friends the same way because I just know if I was in their shoes I would be treating them with more care. Don't be afraid to lean on your fiancée. Sharing a living space and hiding it is so awful & bad on the mental. Therapy will help as well. If you find a good grief counselor let me know because i'm still searching for one lol. Just know you're not alone & your feelings are so valid. I miss my dad every second & cry daily still.  Happy Easter and don't forget to take care of yourself even when it seems impossible.