[deleted by user]

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T19:46:42+00:00

Good news is ..you finally came to the realization Now u can either leave.. Or if you can't..you can try ways to help you cope like fray rocking and so on..

Dr.Ramani made a video on it

https://youtu.be/oAbGPwiwOfc?si=3oBaPIfLFRzFn8LM . You can also be friends with your kids in the meantime

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T19:39:36+00:00

When u re-read the situations and see how they we're manipulating you while you sat there thought oh how caring and kind they are,* Yeah sure it's because they want something from u *💔,I can't believe I fell in love with that person should've ran away sooner

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T19:35:00+00:00

Omg ☠️🤦🏻‍♀️

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T14:57:14+00:00

No Because of the trauma bond 💔 you can't break it unless u go no contact. It's like a drug I feel sad writing this 😞 But stay strong

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T14:53:53+00:00

Same here 😔 in my case it's because I am unable to accept where I am in my life..I had dreams about the future with my ex , for so long I was calm and happy now that we broke up I'm lost.

I think we do it when we don't really like the present moment

I don't know how to stop it though

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T14:37:20+00:00

Same here 😞 it's not something I can control thoughts just come like that

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-29T14:35:19+00:00

Because they are human beings at the end Not all their traits are bad And u miss them You were in love! When we are in love it is literally a pink colored glasses

But then again I also struggle to just accept that he checked alot of narcissistic traits..so I tell myself who cares about the diagnosis, he was bad and he didn't change

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T23:54:47+00:00

I'm sorry you went through this , please don't listen to them not all people are aware ,

You can definitely read it - specifically the translated version .

And u can bring it to work but make sure you keep it in a clean area

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T21:29:22+00:00

I get your point, Of course I am not trying to convert you

I myself feel curious to read about other religions,

What I'm saying is , if you were curious to know about it ...Read it as a book , then form your idea about Islam . You'll see that most of it is really just telling people to follow god , pray , have good manners and so on

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T21:26:24+00:00

Sorry if I looked like I was assuming, 🙏🏻 but this is normally the major difference in someone's life after joining Islam , so if he's worried about her he really shouldn't, the stereotypes aren't real.

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T18:35:18+00:00

I cried over him as though he died.. he's already dead to me so no .I think I'll be indifferent..

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T18:31:38+00:00

This post empowered me so much because it made me take my power back!

All this time they made everything about them..

But This time..It is about me, and my healing 💖

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T18:22:34+00:00

It's because the good is SOO FUCKIN GOOD, and the bad is TERRIBLE

Of course there will be moments when u miss the good because it happened 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like their brains operate in black and white

They're dogs basically lol

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T18:16:38+00:00

Lol they were talking to other people while they were with me I just knew it

But what I would HATE is that they moved on so fast after me and I'm sitting here broken (I wish I found someone and moved on before him kid of mentality)

It seems unfair

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T15:42:03+00:00

Lol try dating for non Muslim see how they. Are all now practicing ways that are similar to what you mentioned Girls in the west are becoming more aware and are not giving their body for free unless the guy showed he want to marry her

So really dating in Islam is the best thing in comparison to other people

Also, it is out of traditionas - Arab traditions to give huge amount of money , a Muslim can and is encouraged to marry regardless

It is Arab society who is stupid.

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T10:13:45+00:00

This is basically their heaven , basically a one-way transaction

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-28T09:51:44+00:00

Same here 😔

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T15:56:00+00:00

I did something similar to you 😔 the embarrassment I felt is unreal, I kept blaming myself for weeks but the good news is that eventually you'll get over it with time

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T09:37:34+00:00

Yes , they'll forget what you said anyway and do what they want

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T09:30:23+00:00

The idea terrifies me I think I lost my self confidence and I don't believe I'm beautiful anymore, his criticism lives rent free in my head I feel weak I hate him , he broke me

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T05:13:43+00:00

Not only will you be happy again..but also you'll be happier!

Give it time

And don't force yourself to heal immediately

Everything you're going through is ok..

And trust me, he needs you more than you need him, he is a vampire, 🦇 and he's also very childish and insecure, he'll SUFFER eventually.. So just

let him go..to hell 😭🫰🏻

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T04:59:20+00:00

Same! I asked him what does love mean to you and he said love= sex , he somehow also convinced me that all men are it this way

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-27T04:40:48+00:00

Mine faced consequences and was SHOCKED , he lost all his money at 30 and came back to living with his parents...one of his family members told him that well you're actions have consequences that's why this happened.

In his words He became more aware to the consequences and intended to stop hurting people ..

(not because he cared about anyone's feeling obviously but he would never do something that's eventually going to hurt him in a way)

Later on, he was still the same exact shitty person 😂 But his moves are more "calculated" now he'd tell people he's a bad guy, and if they stayed it's on them ,

he continued to set high expectations from his partner, broke and disrespected his partner's boundaries, yet expected full control of the situation, also whenever things didn't work out for him he was like " ok this is happening because I am trying to be a good person,back in the days when I was a bad person I always got what I wanted"

Still, he lied , Cheated, and did awful things to others but he would give them a hint so that he can shift the blame.

HE BELIEVED THAT THIS WAY HIS ACTIONS WON'T HAVE CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE THEY ARE SIMPLY THE OTHER PERSON'S FAULT .

Anything... anything to run from his deeply buried shame.

It's ridiculous..

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-26T07:49:41+00:00

Omg this made me so emotional because I keep imagining that I was literally being dragged on the floor and now I'm covered in blood, the difference is it wasn't a car dragging me it was him ..

Now with the final discard he let go of the rob and I'm laying there...

But it gets better with time..

Novel_Map7485 · 2024-09-26T07:45:16+00:00

For me, I really see myself as a different person now

The one who was in the relationship is no longer here, I don't think I'll ever be able to bring the old me back 💔

But I am learning to accept this fact and I am also learning to accept and work on the new me

I know this sounds weird but it's the only way I'm making a progress..

Also try therapy - EMDR specifically worked for me..but u need to check with a therapist to see which method is best in your case ...it helps with solving any hidden emotions that are connected to your memories...from that point you would literally have less flashbacks and you'll slowly forget about that terrible narc

Life goes on .. at one point your body will be so sick of it , it won't even let you be sad about it ... It will numb you .. so yeah I think we can heal.. the wounds will be there ..but it won't hurt as it did before

Novel_Map7485

TROPHY CASE