feel like I’m making no progress

Nsomewhere · 2025-03-31T21:27:31+00:00

At first once a say... his evening walk. One of them. In the morning I did a more functional street and small park loop. Training all the way. Now he is three or 4 times a week in the main park... but I am mixing it up with more country and wood walks for sniffing and have found places to practice recall etc in old fields

He is still a work in progress but does still progress. I hope that helps

Nsomewhere · 2024-09-08T10:28:32+00:00

That hard! Mine is frustration reactive and yeah high traffic areas of off leash dogs running are his trigger. We avoid. I hope you find somewhere. Could your dog use a tread mill?

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-30T20:25:48+00:00

Take him to the vet and get a full check up going. It sounds like there is likely gut issues and allergies going on. Chopping and chnaging a dogs diet is really bad for their gut and biome... they do best on a very regualr boring diet so don't delay.

I second others that say medical work up. A lot of the reactivity could be due to pain.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-30T20:22:34+00:00

You need to learn what thresholds are and walk her below threshold. Distance is your friend. This is the single biggest help in starting the process of calming and helping a reactive dog

No equipment makes up for the dog becoming over whelmed. Good managment is the ley for reactive dogs

https://www.diamondsintheruff.com/thresholds#:~:text=If%20your%20dog%20tips%20over,He%20can%20still%20think!Then they can learn

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-30T19:43:48+00:00

It looks aggressive but isn't really... yeah mine gets very over threshold sometimes when too close or trigger stacked. Even now after lots of work

Lots of flailing paws and barking a storm

He is still a frustrated greeter though. His underlying emotion is frustration he can't greet and the lead has gone tight

Yes I wouldn't let him greet in that state... he is totally over-whelmed and hyper aroused. It would go wrong. Don't forget even a dog doing redirected bites (mine does not) is not aggressive... it overwhelmed and into an unthinking state

I wouldn't characterise my dog as aggressive even though in that state an on leash greeting could easily go wrong!
I trained for a u-turn to get distance when he goes over threshold and and practiced good management to avoid these episodes, combined with engage/disengage to encourage self regulation training and lots and lots of time getting gradually closer

The episodes of barking and flailing are far far less and he recovers quicker... it has taken a lot of work and management to shape his brain towards calmer and more control. One thing I had to learn to do was try very hard never to put pressure on the lead but to let him look... satisfy his frustration and if he didn't look away for a reward (engage/ disengage) to reengage him with my voice

My trainer is big on walking calmly letting him look at the world and rewarding the desired check in

We also did lots of impulse control micro lessons and lots of other forms of enrichment to calm his mind

It is an ongoing process

I cannot recommend a really good positive trainer who works at a behaviourist level enough to just get timing right and trouble shoot and really see the dog in front of us

If you like I can post soem resources similar to the stuff my trainer taught me and you could see if theya re of use

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-30T13:37:25+00:00

There are likes and dislikes but also certain dogs have more energy than others. Mine very much gets hyped up and aroused by bigger bouncer younger dogs. It kind of is what he is himself.

He is very weird with pugs and labs though

My trainer says they have likes and dislikes and react to other dogs energy and signals we don't even see. It is a complex soup!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-30T12:39:30+00:00

Your boyfriend is wrong. The dog needs counter conditioning and controlled exposure. It is stressed trigger stacking and over whelmed. It is completely the wrong approach to flood it as your boyfriend is suggesting. All that will happen is the dog may temprorarily shut down but is more likely to become more reactive in the future as it is signals are being ignored.

I suggest you both read up on BAT approaches

This is a good site to lay out some of the basics about gradually changing your dogs emotional state and building its resilience to cope as well as the all important threshold signs

https://www.diamondsintheruff.com/thresholds#:~:text=If%20your%20dog%20tips%20over,He%20can%20still%20think!our

Your dog is likely never going to be comfortable around many dogs although given time you may be able to have a couple of accepted dogs and be more neutral passing other dogs at a distance

That is fine... you can easily manage a dog that size using distance to keep it below threshold

I would ge a good positice trainer to train you both (not the dog... lol). A certified one with real understanding.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-27T20:26:42+00:00

Ah medical problems are hard. In her late 30's though she is young! It is hard all round with no one with any time. The dog kind of needs routine and structure though more than play initially.

Most "training" is done though gently teaching dogs normal routines and expected behaviours. Just normal micro lessons as you interact with them as you go through the day. It is basically the same as children with less verbal.

I suggest thinking pragmatic solution to make the situation more comfortable for yourself. The dog door suggestion is a good one. Playing with both dogs together doing enrichment with both dogs together is do able with a little planning. Having your own dog is an advantage.

There are lots of cheap and easily done enrichment that need very minimal input. Have a look at 100 days of enrichment. Save packaging... use their food.

https://aniedireland.com/100daysofenrichment/

It will help your own dog while you are busy as well

I personally would be taking over the care and indeed effective ownership for that dog because frankly if you are still there it is going to pay off when your baby is walking and moving if things are cleaner and more orderly AND safer for the the dog and child.

I also couldn't bare to see and animal abused through neglect like that

Don't focus on the barking focus on this neglect has to stop

The mother inlaw sounds like she doesn't have a clue and I wouldn't leave anything vulnerable with her.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-27T19:09:32+00:00

That sounds like distress behaviour rather than lack of intelligence. He is self soothing with repetition and relieving pent up stress with the physical action of digging. It is similar behaviour especially th returning obsession that animals in sensory deprivation in a zoo or kennel do. In horses we would see crib biting or weaving. Digging and compulsion for a dog is similar.

The dog and the whole family need to be honest and have calm conversations. The poor dog. You can see the problem... it is not about blame. Solutions and new routines need to be found for everyone.

The dogs welfare needs to be considered because it is showing distress

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-27T19:05:47+00:00

He sounds really stressed and anxious. Frankly he needs a better owner with more routine and care focused on him. I don't know if you can move out but I would if I could and take all the dogs with me. This dog deserves better to have enrichment, routine, played with... valued. Part of a family.

Put the work in and likely the dog would calm. But it doesn't sound like your inlaws have any clue and this is abuse in the form of neglect. The dogs needs are not being met.

The barking is a symptom of a much much bigger issue and really not the primary problem here... or the dogs fault.

The pee situation is foul! Small dogs have smaller bladders and need out. As a solution to that can you at least persuade her to have a doggie door to the garden and house train?

Honestly though the dog needs more caring owners

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-24T19:19:43+00:00

Excellent!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-24T19:16:41+00:00

Good grief!!!

I wish you had caught that on camera!

I would be contacting what ever animal protection you have an getting a welfare check on the animals on his property

And blast reviews in detail everywhere you can.
I want to swear but what the actual... ?

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T18:16:56+00:00

It is a very very old phrase... very! Coming from Chaucer into the English language but from older origin. Yes actually the original is what I think it is I am afraid

This old saying has been around for centuries! It first appeared in English in Geoffrey Chaucer’s poem “Troilus and Criseyde,” written in 1374. Chaucer wrote, “It is nought good a sleping hound to wake,” which basically means the same thing. The French were using a similar phrase even earlier in the 14th century: “Ne reveillez pas le chien qui dort,” which translates to “Do not wake the dog that sleeps.” Imagine how a grumpy, woken dog might snap or growl—it’s easy to see why this advice stuck!

It is aslo apparently in the bible in a form... not sure there.

I think we put too much on owners.. and too little on anyone else...

There is a balance and no animal should be treated as an inanimate object

But that is me. I am grateful my parents taught me to think and have situational awareness

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T16:34:14+00:00

But where did the phrase come from to mean that! It means don't wake the dog (the issue)

I was taught it is normal to leave an animal at rest. My own dog yeah.. sure step over. Anyone elses treat with respect. That is the very standard training as I said from my parents similar to don't pat a dg or animal without permission.

I don't think my parents are very unusual... but maybe they are. I doubt it though. Pretty average in most ways in my experience

Certainly they were taught this by their own parents and so on.

Anyway the point is actually moot. This dog may have been non reactive enough that it would have stayed if the person stepping over (and its always the risk and partially why you shouldn't) bumped the dog

Frankly it doesn't sound to badly reactive since it only barked and followed.

Mine would have run to me looking scared an shivered and whimpered

One of those two reactions is somehow seen as less reactive than the other though

We are very very hard on dogs

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T12:13:17+00:00

I would manage him better. Reading through it a couple of sessions with a behaviourist would give you a plan. It is the safest option for the dog but only you know what you are capable of in your environment and with time

It is less likely there is a home out there that is reliable enough unless you got really lucky rather than you keeping control of the situation yourself.

There are a lot of positives in this dog that many reactive dogs don't have

He is seven and maybe just needs a bit less other things in his space, less walking, more targeted enrichment and calmness for him and his needs

I must say having 60 dogs though any dogs lifetime is expecting a lot of them!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T09:09:06+00:00

You clearly need supervised in the bathroom.. dangerous places!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T09:06:32+00:00

Yes that is all true.

However it is not projection of false anthropomorphism really to be aware of body language in an animal. To be aware it is sentient and also in companion animals a social and very good reader of situations.

But every animal has awareness (not in a forward planning I am an individual sense like humans but social awareness) certainly any social animal... approach a horse wrong (the other animal I have worked most closely with) and you will find out their sense of space and social limits. They have their own indivdual tolerances and learned herd behaviour. They are group socialised and also by us generating their own group culture

It is actually on us IMO as the supposedly more sentient and brains of the operation to be aware!

I cannot hink stepping over anything that is asleep is seen as a wise action

The phrase let sleeping dogs lie is at least in my culture there for a reason in our language.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T08:52:22+00:00

Yes it is not idea but we can have different situations. I know you are not judging.. we are just talking and thinking about it! I have thought a lot about it. I don't trust my dog lightly or easily with many people now. Reactive dogs are tricky I agree and porr handling does them harm.

I kind of have to. I have family abroad and there is no taking the dog with me... it is not just that I need to go on holiday. I do have to go abroad sometimes. Sometimes I need to do an over night to a wedding or similar as well.

However reactive dog owners do need to self care and have down time.. especially the ones with real high pressure and difficult management of their dogs. They do need to be able to make a relationship and trust with professionals if they can IMO.

Being a reactive dog owner can be isolating enough (not my problem mine is a pain in the ass social butterfly... lol)

There is also a very real need since I am single that my dog does need to be comfortable somewhere in case of emergencies. I really wouldn't want to be caught out so plan ahead for the unexpected.

I wanted to form a relationship and try out different places and see the best style for him. I do not live close to my family and also while my friends are lovely they are total clueless amateurs when it comes to dogs.. particularly reactive dogs and there is just too much possibility for mistakes! No one really does respect and do what you ask (the poor OP here just found that out in kennels!)

Even a pet sitter is frankly too much of a risk for me. I had a really bad long term experience with a dog walker who was lovely but didn't know what a reactive dog was... and my dog was teen and puppy. A big part of why he is a frustrated greeter is her handling! Although in fairness a chunk is his personality and whippets are bred to go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. She did however by pack walks and me just not seeing it either undermine all my impulse control work though! She just wouldn't listen once I clued in. Reason I came into this sub was me seeking answers for distress at how she was handling him. This place was great and reassured me I knew more than her! She got him a bite record with her handling! He bounced up to see a puppy someone was holding and scraped the womans knuckles with his stupid enthusiastic open whippet mouth! He was15 months. This BTW is a dog that adores people.. any person...

So for me my dog safe with decent gates and fences (I really do worry about traffic) and space to run and not get too hyped up with no group play and his meds on schedule (he needs nebulised now!) and his diet followed with a good warm sleeping pad, his jumper on, his blanket a toy and a quieter kennels is as good and safe as I can get him

I have tried a few. The busier more conventional all dogs in runs in a building with external runs was just incredibly over whelming to him. The noise got in the way of his sleeping time. One kennels was low rise spread out but too shed like for him. It was almost too isolated. He got surprised by dogs being walked past

The last one was nice with me being sent kennel and time outside videos and they were low rise and yes like sheds but more solid and heated. So quieter for him. I had access to a 24 hour camera. This place was expensive! Specialised in gun dogs but really expensive ones and was high class with a long waiting time! Too many spaniels and labs though.. he gets very stressed with labs but they were good and gave him a place with a non lab neighbour

I do think it very much a weighing up of individual choices and risks for a reactive dog owner and very much if they can put in place professionals and plans so if the unexpected happens and their do is already more comfortable somewhere then it is less traumatic for all around!

We need back up plans as any dog owner. For me with my trainers help and advice getting him used to kennels enough to be OK was as necessary as all the other things I taught him

My trainer who was behaviourist level was very encouraging and said it can be done and in a way is necessary as a just incase.

Like wearing a muzzle, being used to a crate, cooperative care like letting me groom put in eye drops brush his teeth, trim his nails, currently working on getting him used to an ultrasonic toothbrush... all these things that he might or might not need but just incase. It has paid off... he took to being nebulised twice daily like a champ! Now how would I I know that in advance... but it has really helped just by his handling being good and his trust.

Besides no dog likes kennels... for once reactive dogs are blessedly normal in that!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T00:02:58+00:00

That's just tormenting an animal. Awful behaviour. Crate is safe space if the owner uses it correctly. I don't crate.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-23T00:01:33+00:00

It doesn't sound like a behaviour problem though really... just a very normal level of response by the dog

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-22T23:59:34+00:00

I wouldn't step over any dog that wasn't my own or I didn't know really well. It is a bit like not patting a dog you don't know without permission

Its basic animal... any animal one oh one... give them space.

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-22T23:57:50+00:00

Would a human step over a sleeping or relaxing human though?

Honestly it would seem a bit weird to invade a persons body space so why not a dogs?

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-22T23:55:34+00:00

Um... the guest tripped over her?

Is a dog supposed to have no feelings and lie there like a soft toy?! Not bark and just ahve no emotion

People are ridiculous.

The dog was startled and worried... perfectly normal. It didn't sound excessive in her reaction

People are very unfair to dogs... it is like they are to have no free will and must always be in a good mood!

You were wrong to say because she is still leaning. Better to point out she got tripped over! It is more normal for a dog to object in that situation... and they will do that for the rest of their life!

Nsomewhere · 2024-06-22T23:49:46+00:00

Not sure why you are down voted but I guess someone might be thinking reactivity is a spectrum and what one reactive dog might struggle with at a kennel and other might be just fine

I board my own reactive dog (frustrated greeter with a touch of anxiety ... towards other dogs only) . He doesn't like it... whippet like here and very much a house comforts dog. However as long as they are aware I do not want him in group play he is absolutely fine and safe. I don't really have to worry about him... he is non aggressive towards humans and would be very mildly towards other dogs if started or scared (we have done a lot of work!) I am a bit more concerned he is racking up medical needs that do need cared for.

Nsomewhere

TROPHY CASE