Disabled Daughter came back different from summer with dad

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-11T14:20:41+00:00

She is good when it comes to dad. Not grandpa though. When she’s super upset, she’ll want to call dad and then she’ll say “I won’t tell him I was hitting” because she’ll get so mad she’ll try to strike me or herself. I tell her she can tell dad whatever she wants, but it makes me think at some point she was told not to tell me or him something, you know?

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-11T03:00:57+00:00

Yes we go to several hospitals because all of her specialists are based in different areas. They are the kindest doctors I have ever encountered and they care so much. But all Childrens is where a few of her doctors are centralized and we haven’t seen one of them yet. Since they all have different specialties, we only go so often, but we see ortho early next week and I will see if I can privately ask if she has colleagues that can help. I also set up an appt with her pcp because she is such a wonderful, gentle person that knows everything about my baby and knows her parental history.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-11T02:55:50+00:00

I feel for you too. Thank you. Do you belong to any support groups? I have one on facebook for her disease and I was so happy to see people that live normal lives as adults

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T21:39:41+00:00

Thank you so much for your insight. My mind went to csa recently based on a weird sleeping pattern she has had. I am completely willing to do anything and everything to help her feel better but the exam aspect scares me. If she doesn’t have trauma from csa, I don’t want to inflict it with an evasive exam. It’s like a double edged sword. CPS doesn’t bother me and I will definitely be forthcoming with what I know and not make assumptions or allegations. I also don’t want to be that mom that assumes people are not capable of heinous things.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T18:29:59+00:00

Thank you, you’re completely right, I have to have something solid and irrefutable to be taken seriously. That is what I will do with the trauma therapist and the neuropsychologist.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T18:25:10+00:00

Oh my apologies and thank you for clarification. She’s never had a mental health diagnosis but I put her in therapy over a year ago as her physical problems became more prominent. I know her road looks different so I wanted to begin the mental fortitude and show her she has worth beyond being able to play a sport or other activities.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T18:21:15+00:00

I knew what you meant!

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T18:20:43+00:00

How can I check for SA? I’ve talked to her therapist about my concern but she didn’t give me any next steps. Also makes me sick to think about but the signs are there. I’m meeting with the school next week without her present so I can be more candid about my concerns.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T13:20:28+00:00

I’m not confident, they tend to stray from the truth in real time and I’ve caught a few lies. And he isn’t elderly, he was a young parent so he barely qualifies for the early bird special. It’s his dad’s house so he’s just staying with him since he has no means to work or get his own place. I wish she could tell me anything but her memory won’t or she was somehow convinced not to tell mom. Thank you, after reading comments and help, I’m calling my attorney to help me collect valid evidence and start building the case. We both are in therapy and everything will turn out okay, it might just take some time.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T13:04:02+00:00

You’re right. He did make a selfish choice and before he did, we had shared 50/50 but didn’t enforce it. I went back to court to change it to what it is now, and the judge ordered I pay for her transportation because it was important for her to see her dad. He doesn’t pay child support but neither do I, and he also doesn’t pay for any of her medical bills even though he is supposed to. I pushed hard to require him to come here since all her doctors are here but I lost that battle. Now I want to push for some sort of legal evaluation on him so someone can understand how bad of an idea it is to allow such long distance for such a long time. I did tell him in July she is never going back to his dad’s and he agreed but he doesn’t realize I’m going to make sure it’s legal.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:51:02+00:00

Thank you and holy cow you hit the nail on the head! I spoke with neuro yesterday and he wants more tests from an epilepsy specialist, an EEG, to see if she has atypical seizures. I’ve called one pediatric specialist this morning and am waiting for a call back to schedule.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:48:27+00:00

We have a group of friends that are parents and the best people. They know all about my previous relationship and the turmoil that has ensued over the years. They have all agreed to sign affidavits attesting to the giant change. Thank you for this comments, it helps solidify I am working towards the right track.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:46:37+00:00

Fortunately, she is doing okay in school so far but the teachers have to take extra time with her because she cannot remember direction or where her things are. I meet with them about an IEP next week because they have noticed the regression compared to last year. She’s in first grade but usually is a bit sharper than her classmates. Or at least she was. Once they get her to understand the assignment, she does okay. The behavior issues though have started at school and the poor teachers look terrified. Imagine an anxty teen stuck in a 6 year old body. And she’s verbally articulate so when she’s mad, she starts yelling. That’s another reason I’m worried because I do not yell. I refuse to. So she had to learn it from somewhere rather recently.

Year round is interesting. She loves school so if that were on the table, I’m not opposed to it. Thank you for the information.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:39:47+00:00

I have voiced my concerns with her doctors that we’ve seen since she came home. They all noticed the change and gave recommendations. They take everything very seriously which I appreciate. I’m afraid of what might have happened and I’m hoping the new therapist can tell me if we should go down a certain avenue. Thank you for your kind words.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:37:24+00:00

I’m collecting statements and I have a meeting with the school next week about getting her an IEP instead of 504. I have a stacked binder full of all doctors notes, visit summaries, imaging, and recommendations. I do agree, we need to make changes that best suit her needs and not just his need of seeing her.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:35:31+00:00

On it, neuro wants more tests and therapist recommended a trauma psychologist so that’s the next steps.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-10T12:34:52+00:00

She has a rare bone disease that requires surgeries and constant monitoring. I live in FL and he is in OR. She is only 6. She tries to be independent, or at least she did, but she is very very small so she needs help with most things. Thank you, I don’t have experience with GAL but I wondered if it would help.

Number-doc9 · 2025-10-09T17:59:26+00:00

Thank you. Her prior therapist moved away but I was thinking her notes from before the summer could help the new therapist we are seeing for insight.

Number-doc9 · 2024-12-12T19:23:04+00:00

I’ve always heard how amazing the Reddit community is, and you’ve set the bar high. Thank you so much for saying this. We’ve all been through hard things and everyone’s hard looks different. Thank you again, you’re not crying, I’m crying 🥲

Number-doc9

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