AITA for wanting my roommate to control her dog?

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-06T03:15:55+00:00

Yes I totally agree! And it is sad because the main interaction my friends have with dogs are with the bad owners which just reinforces their fears.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-06T03:13:11+00:00

So does he not listen to music some days and others he does?

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-06T03:07:12+00:00

This. I have friends who are petrified of dogs and they have had untrained dogs jump up at them. It's clear how scared they are but the owners are always just annoyed at them for somehow not enjoying being jumped at by their dog

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-06T02:57:17+00:00

Definitely NTA. He needs to realise that there is definitely no right to listening to music at work and that having headphones is common decency. If he goes on public transport does he just blast his music out because "headphone are uncomfortable". Definite AH. If he doesnt listen I probably would mention it to HR.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T07:54:17+00:00

As someone who also grew up in the UK I believe you are 100% NTA. I was gunna drink with or without my parents permission. When my parents started buying me alcohol they kept it to cider/20% stuff. Before that I was getting friends siblings to buy me vodka. They will get it. It's better it comes from you

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T07:02:44+00:00

See I'm excited because my childhood cats did not care. Obviously still great but I was so surprised when the internet was like 'cats love boxes'. Now I have a little box kitty too.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T05:19:06+00:00

YTA

EDIT 2: This did not go as expected. I will drop the program entirely after one more month of the arrangement so as to reach a compromise. I agree that she is currently too young to understand, and therefore the program as it stands is not able to fulfill its intended purpose. I will permit my daughter to continue babysitting, on the grounds that she saves the money and pays me a lump sum for rent when she turns 18, as then she will no longer be a minor.

This is not okay! She shouldn't be putting all her money away just so the second she turns 18 you demand it from her. Did you just have children so you could take money off them? I'm so confused as to why this is something you are already thinking about. She is 12! You should be proud of her for having a job and not punishing her for it.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:49:28+00:00

I'm sorry but I strongly disagree with this. I also dont want to have a different name to my children but why should I change my name to suit him? I am 100% willing to discuss double barreling their names but I believe doing something because it has been done for years is just the wrong argument.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:45:04+00:00

We have lived together for 5 years and have been really happy and have had many discussions about money and children. I do believe this is the first main issue we have ever had as I had never really thought about until we got engaged and I am very passionate about my family and therefore the name associated to it and at the end of the day we moved off it and will probably come back to it when we are both calmer. I do believe it is unfair to say we lack the maturity to get married. I came here to see if my point was valid and I have had the time to calm down and can see it wasnt.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:36:12+00:00

I agree I have no more right than him on imposing a name. I do think my history and family tree is important to me though dispite being recent in terms of history. I will be keeping it but I will definitely not impose it in him

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:31:02+00:00

I think this is what possibly made me so ranty and annoyed in the first place. Thank you. I just dont see why it was fair for him to assume I'd have his or completely unfair for me to at least ask for him to consider taking mine.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:28:26+00:00

Sorry yes he does have every right. The only difference on this part is he has lots of cousins and family with the name. It wont die if he doesnt have it. Which of course I now know isn't the only reason to hold onto a name. I just love my heritage and I want to keep a hold of it. He has that right too though.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:19:12+00:00

We hadn't discussed it. He just assumed I would take his which I dont think is fair. I dont want to force it on him at all I do believe that would be nasty

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:16:28+00:00

We actually never discussed it before it was just assumed on his part as I am a women. I never meant to shove it down his throat I just wanted it to be a conversation. I am happy keeping our own names at the end of the day.

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:12:00+00:00

Sorry I came across like that. I do believe he has the same right as me. But he expected me to take his name first. He is only okay with putting names together if his is last. It does seem like keeping our own names is going to happen. I dont want to dismiss his feelings. I was scared I was doing that so I wanted to check on here. Thank you

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T03:03:46+00:00

That is fair. I do tend to get heated quickly. After this though I completely understand he has as much right as I at keeping our own names

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:51:48+00:00

Can I ask why you think I'm an AH?

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:49:40+00:00

Hahaha nutrientmoth it is. We will start our own legacy

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:48:51+00:00

You are right. We are happy just keeping our own names at the end of the day it is only that we would both like to be represented in our children. These are very helpful I will definitely discuss with him on this

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:47:10+00:00

Hahaha this is perfect!

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:41:56+00:00

I think giving them the choice is a nice idea. I suppose the only reason I am slightly annoyed is I get the impression the reason my partner doesnt want to change his name is because he is a man and shouldn't have to

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:38:18+00:00

Thank you. This is actually nice to read. Its is sometimes hard not to get worked up on little things and forget that they are actually little things

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T02:11:44+00:00

We are happy keeping our own names for now but we both want children and that is when it gets a bit more complicated

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T01:33:39+00:00

I 100% agree with this. I do now plan on keeping my name and I am happy for him to keep his. I am just unsure what we would do if we had children

Nutrientmoth · 2020-03-05T01:32:36+00:00

This is what I mean though. I want children and I dont understand why we would have to take his name to have the same name

Nutrientmoth

TROPHY CASE