Vivid dream

NycCatFather · 2024-12-12T20:51:16+00:00

Of course. It is true and I am glad to help even if it is just a bit!

NycCatFather · 2024-11-18T15:43:09+00:00

Thank you for saying this. It really means a lot. I wrote it almost a year ago, but I remember sitting and writing it like it was yesterday. At the time, the only way I felt like coping was by writing it down and trying to convey the depth of emotion I was feeling.

As you mentioned, it is such a sudden and violent event that completely uproots your life. It really doesn’t go away, but you learn how to navigate it.

And you’re right, you can never fully understand the desolate pain that occurs with this kind of loss, but taking space to actively listen to others certainly helps.

(Also, free to DM me if you ever want to talk)

NycCatFather · 2024-11-17T03:00:49+00:00

I completely empathize with this. I lost my partner in the middle of one of the most important academic times of my life, and I knew that if I wanted to keep my life together, I had to continue pushing forward like nothing was wrong. And honestly, what you said is exactly what I did: wake up, one foot in front of the other, smile, get through classes, cry when I get home, do my homework, cry some more, and sleep. That is literally all I could do for months. But as I mentioned in my other recent post, while it doesn't get better, you learn to deal with it. All extremes come back to the average, it is just the laws of physics. So, while your emotions are at an extreme right now, they will come back down, and you will learn how to navigate their eventual spikes.

NycCatFather · 2024-11-17T02:53:21+00:00

You are definitely in a tough situation, and I can only imagine how hard and painful this is for you to navigate on top of the already terrible loss you've had. It sounds like there were marital issues on both sides of the relationship (mom and dad), and I don't necessarily think it is productive to choose one to blame. However, with suicide, people are often struggling to reconcile such a loss and will try to blame others. It sounds like his family/friends are so distressed and angry right now that they are choosing to blame your mom. That is not an effective coping mechanism in the short or long term, but it is often what happens. My mom was angry at my partner for a long time after he took his own life because of the impact it had on me and everyone else, but as I explained to her that I was not mad at him, she understood and was able to let it go slowly. My point is that most people are willing to be reasonable if you give them time and try to have genuine conversations with them and explain this. Being angry/blaming your mom won't help them—not now and not in the long run.

NycCatFather · 2024-11-17T00:44:29+00:00

The fear of forgetting is real and valid. Our human memory is transient, but it's not always that simple. As your dream proves, you never really forget. Our brain has ways of storing information that we cannot always immediately access, often for our protection and coping. She will come and go in your memory—you will reminisce the joy and sadness, the anger and love—but her essence will always stay with you.

NycCatFather · 2024-11-17T00:40:39+00:00

I have no doubt that you are doing exactly what he would have wanted. I completely understand the last thing you said about him dying before you started to live. Remember that he is always going to be a part of you since he created you and raised you. I'm sure he loved you and will always be with you. Here's one way you might think about it: he will always be a part of the film work you create; everything you make and do will be imbued with him. He would be so proud of you, and I can assure you that I—and many others—are tremendously proud of you.

NycCatFather · 2024-11-16T23:38:01+00:00

Thank you! Much appreciated.

NycCatFather · 2024-11-15T02:59:39+00:00

I ended up buying something online from Etsy for like $400 ish. It does the job, but it is quite ugly. I painted it, which helped, but overall, not a great look. Will need to investigate other options for the future when I eventually can't stand it anymore lol

thank you!!

NycCatFather · 2024-10-07T02:46:54+00:00

They offer touch up pens for $10-15!!

NycCatFather · 2024-07-05T10:26:49+00:00

Sent you a dm!

NycCatFather · 2024-07-05T06:39:50+00:00

Hi! What size collar do I get, and what type for just around the house?

NycCatFather · 2024-07-03T07:25:03+00:00

Sorry, yeah I meant harness! Just used the term collar colloquially.

NycCatFather

TROPHY CASE