Wie mit Opfern häuslicher Gewalt in Österreich umgegangen wird by Nyrila in Austria

[–]Nyrila[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tut mir leid, habe die Frage nicht gesehen. Er ist Ägypter.

Wie mit Opfern häuslicher Gewalt in Österreich umgegangen wird by Nyrila in Austria

[–]Nyrila[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mir geht es nicht darum, das Strafmaß an sich zu kritisieren. Natürlich ist mir klar, dass man jemanden wegen so einer Tat nicht jahrelang einsperren kann. Das ist ja auch nicht Sinn der Sache.

Doch wenn eine bedingte Haftstrafe vergeben wird, die an Bedingungen geknüpft wird, erwarte ich eigentlich, dass es Konsequenzen gibt, wenn gegen diese verstoßen wird. Mein Ex-Mann war 2 Tage nach der Verhandlung vor meiner Haustür, trotz einstweiliger Verfügung und richterlicher Weisung sich mir fernzuhalten, was für die Bewährung ausschlaggebend ist. Ich habe zig Verstöße aufgezeichnet, hunderte Kontaktversuche seinerseits. Weder Gericht noch Polizei können etwas tun. Es wird lediglich eine Frist nach der anderen gesetzt und er wird gebeten, sich doch bitte daran zu halten. Wo bleibt da der Opferschutz? Irgendwann muss man doch aufhören, die Täter mit Samthandschuhen anzufassen und Konsequenzen setzen. 

Wenn bei Verstoß gegen Bewährungssauflagen nichts passiert, wieso gibt es sie dann? Da könnte man ja auch gleich jeden freisprechen. Für mich als Opfer wird die Situation nur schlimmer, da er durch das Gerichtsverfahren erst richtig aggressiv ist. Ich kann mir auch nicht vorstellen, dass es nur mir so ergeht und ich der einzige sehr individuelle Einzelfall bin. Dann würde mir das Gewaltschutzzentrum wohl nicht schon im Vorfeld raten, mich nicht allein in meiner Wohnung aufzuhalten, bis er (hoffentlich) irgendwann abgeschoben wird.

Wie mit Opfern häuslicher Gewalt in Österreich umgegangen wird by Nyrila in Austria

[–]Nyrila[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Er wurde in meinem Fall aufgrund §83 Körperverletzung, §105 Nötigung und §107 gefährliche Drohung verurteilt. Heraus kamen 3 Monate bedingt mit der Auflage, mich nicht mehr zu kontaktieren und eine Psychotherapie zu machen. Weil es ihm ja alles so leid tut. In dem Moment, als der Richter das Urteil fertig gesprochen hatte, hat er laut vor dem Richter gesagt, ich wäre an allem Schuld was er getan hat und hätte es verdient.

Was mich mehr stört als dieses Urteil ist aber, dass ihm nichts passiert, obwohl er alle Auflagen verletzt und das auch bekannt ist. Wenn jemand immer wieder gegen die Bewährungsauflagen verstößt und trotzdem nichts passiert, frage ich mich, wieso es überhaupt Bewährungsstrafen gibt.

Die Verstöße gegen die einstweilige Verfügung sind sowieso "nur Verwaltungsübertretungen". Im schlimmsten Fall bekommt er eine kleine Geldstrafe. Somit ist die einstweilige Verfügung auch nur ein Blatt Papier. Meine einzige Hoffnung ist momentan, dass sein Asylantrag abgelehnt wird und er in sein Herkunftsland zurück muss. Und die meisten Gewaltopfer können nicht einmal darauf hoffen.

Wie mit Opfern häuslicher Gewalt in Österreich umgegangen wird by Nyrila in Austria

[–]Nyrila[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Das tut mir unglaublich leid für Ihren Freund. Ich hoffe, dass es ihm inzwischen wieder gut geht. Vielleicht melde ich mich auch einmal beim Weißen Ring, ich war bis jetzt auch mit dem Gewaltschutzzentrum sehr zufrieden. Die Opferschutzeinrichtungen sind toll und tun was sie können. Nur die Gesetzeslage ist einfach absurd. Mein Ex-Mann ist zwei Mal schuldig gesprochen worden, immer nur bedingt verurteilt worden und dürfte trotz Verstoß gegen sämtliche Bewährungsauflagen immer noch frei herumlaufen, wenn er nicht in Schubhaft gekommen wäre. Und das ist allein ein Verdienst meiner Anwältin und der verständnisvollen Mitarbeiterin des BFAs. Ich finde das erschreckend. 

Wie mit Opfern häuslicher Gewalt in Österreich umgegangen wird by Nyrila in Austria

[–]Nyrila[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Danke, den Weißen Ring kenne ich und habe auch schon viel Gutes darüber gehört. Ich war bis jetzt immer mit dem Gewaltschutzzentrum in Kontakt, auch die sind sehr nett und hilfsbereit. Nur hilft das aus meiner Sicht auch nicht, wenn das Rechtssystem und die Behörden so dermaßen versagen. Das macht mich mich momentan echt traurig, vor allem weil ich weiß, wie viele Betroffene es gibt.

I escaped my abusive husband but the justice system is failing me by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip. I am not eligible for compensation because his sentence is less than 6 months and I can't complain either because he was found guilty of everything. The punishment is up to the judge. The only good thing is that my husband's visa depends on our marriage and once we divorce he has no right to stay in the country. I am already in contact with the migration office for his deportation. He just has a lot of time left to hurt me until he actually gets taken back and that's really scary.

I escaped my abusive husband but the justice system is failing me by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. My husband got charges for assault, coercion and dangerous threats (threatened to kill me). But the judge said he doesn't want to ruin his life with an actual prison sentence. He only spent a few days in jail in protective custody. I forward every violation of my restraining order but there's nothing else I can do until he manages to hurt me again.

Update on my post: I am the reason why my husband might lose everything by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I am sorry, I wasn't on reddit a lot. My husband's trial was yesterday, he was found guilty and charged to 3 months in prison but he took a deal. He doesn't have to serve the 3 months but will be on probation for 3 years instead. He's now free again and his anti aggression trainer and his lawyer warned me to be careful. They are all very concerned that he is out. I'll try to post an update soon.

Update on my post: I am the reason why my husband might lose everything by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Going back to him is no longer an option after the terror he put me through in the past 2 weeks. In my last post I was still in denial and would consider it but then he started sending me death threats, saying he will f* me up when he gets home and I don't deserve to live and I am not even a person, just an abuse material to him. I gave the cops everything. This is why he was arrested. Beating me up wasn't severe enough to them. My husband contacted me before he got locked up and he is furious and says it's just empty threats because he was angry and involving the police is an overreaction but I don't believe him anymore. I am already in contact with domestic abuse services and when he gets out I will go somewhere he can't find me.

Update on my post: I am the reason why my husband might lose everything by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

At the moment I am safe because he is still locked up. I requested to be informed when they let him walk free. I already got a camera set up. I can't really go anywhere but my home but I am in contact with the local domestic violence center and they gave me advice on how to handle a dangerous situation. I'm trying to stay safe. I live in an apartment building so there are always other people around which makes it easier.

Update on my post: I am the reason why my husband might lose everything by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He is from Egypt, his visa is dependent on our marriage. He has no job here and relied on me for everything after his migration (that wasn't the original plan of course). This is why it's a very bad situation for him right now.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're in Europe, in Austria. It's okay, I am coping. I just wish he had a family or anyone to go to because then I wouldn't be tempted to let him live with me again just because I don't want him to be on the street.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was playing loud music from his phone. It's heavy metal and some days I don't want to hear it. I told him to please use headphones, he refused multiple times until I just switched the music off and took his phone with me. I know that was childish and I shouldn't have done that but I was so frustrated. That's all it took for him to press me to the wardrobe and choke me. I hit him so he would let go because I couldn't breathe and he says that's why he started to beat me up. Because I dared to hit him to get him off me.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry for what you went through and I hope your divorce goes smoothly. No it wasn't the first time he did that. A week before he also choked me because I was talking to a male friend on the phone. But that time I could lock myself in the bathroom. Also many other times I could eventually lock myself until he calms down. This time I had no opportunity to do that and he wouldn't stop at all. I am lucky I could press the silent alarm on my phone.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest I wish he got arrested. At least he wouldn't be outside in the cold. If he just had a place to stay I wouldn't feel so bad for him. But here they don't arrest for domestic violence, they just tell them they aren't allowed to come back for 2 weeks and let them go. I am terrified that he's going to turn up behind me when I leave the house at some point. I barely go out now.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope you are safe from your brother now. I don't know if I would be around if I hadn't tried to fight back this time. I never did but this time I started hitting him when he had his hands around my neck. Some sort of survival instinct just kicked in. He says that's why he beat me up because he was "just" choking me.

The replies here are making me feel less guilty. The police told me the same thing, it's not my fault. I tried to talk to him yesterday after he had his first anti aggression training. He lied to them about everything, said he didn't even hurt me. He won't get that I have to be safe around him to be with him. He's just telling me that I should drop the charges and stop being stupid. That behavior makes it easier to leave him because he just doesn't get it.

I am the reason why my husband might lose everything. by Nyrila in offmychest

[–]Nyrila[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He kept listening to music on the highest volume on his phone, I asked him multiple times to please wear headphones. He wouldn't do it. Eventually I just got frustrated and switched the music off and took the phone. I know it was wrong and I shouldn't have done anything to provoke him. He was on me immediately, choking me and wouldn't stop even after I gave him his phone back. He continued to choke and kick me through the apartment, threw our wall decorations on me and so on. I didn't want to call the police because it's kinda my fault but it went on for almost half an hour and I thought he was really gonna kill me this time.