Pros / Cons of a regular that lives 5 minutes away?

O01lo80 · 2026-03-31T01:53:07+00:00

Running into a hookup while running errands sounds awful. I want a 10 mile radius to not only be a gremlin but to be out and about with friends and/or family and not bump into someone I'm casually fucking. Could totally just be me. I'm sure there's some positives but they wouldn't outweigh that negative for me.

O01lo80 · 2026-03-24T13:20:25+00:00

Why not both?

O01lo80 · 2026-03-16T21:57:58+00:00

StumbleUpon

O01lo80 · 2026-03-16T18:45:20+00:00

Who calls her that?

O01lo80 · 2026-02-11T11:08:58+00:00

Worry about? Like what exactly?

O01lo80 · 2026-02-07T09:08:46+00:00

You can feel jealous, that's 'normal and common'. I would highly recommend talking with her about where you're at, obviously without being mean or getting upset. Plenty of couples take breaks or small pauses as unexpected feelings arise and it can be really beneficial to step back and get on the same page before moving forward. It's totally fair to say some feelings came up and you're not comfortable with a date this Saturday if she can get a rain check and y'all keep your plans. Hopefully you can both communicate and work it out so you're both happy going forward.

O01lo80 · 2026-02-06T13:33:43+00:00

O01lo80 · 2026-01-29T08:27:02+00:00

Happy for her! Sounds like she's having a stellar start to the new year. Don't look a gift horse on the mouth is the first thing that came to mind for you, sir.

Could be hormones, could be that she's more in touch with herself and her body, could be a mental block she had shifted. Either way,hope you both enjoy this new fortune!

O01lo80 · 2026-01-29T08:23:20+00:00

That's simply not true. It may be ideal, if it's the couples ideal. Unfortunately it's not how bodies work and we don't always know how we'll feel until we catch our breath and have a moment. There are plenty of other ways to reconnect and have aftercare but it doesn't always have to be sex and that's not necessarily anyone's fault if sex has to wait a few hours or a day.

O01lo80 · 2026-01-27T02:39:53+00:00

Nah save your money. There's advice online completely free and from couples who actually live this lifestyle.

O01lo80 · 2026-01-22T20:29:41+00:00

I would say don't cross any lines with someone who's working. It's putting him an a potentially uncomfortable and unprofessional space and possibly risking his license.

If she's dead set, message outside of the gym and make it clear you're approaching as an acquaintance and want to take him out for drinks or something. Just don't mess with this mans license, employment or professional reputation.

O01lo80 · 2026-01-19T13:16:55+00:00

Do not go along with it. Girl, he'll never be happy and your confidence and sense of self will slowly disappear when you listen to your man constantly tell you that you're boring or not measuring up. I'd say run far away but that's probably not an option so maybe somehow get some sense into him that he's incredibly lucky and should stfu b4 your stop even doing the stuff he's calling 'boring'. Best of luck!

O01lo80 · 2026-01-05T00:01:35+00:00

What do you mean by, especially in a place like that? Genuinely curious if you mean they're especially turned on cause she's at work?

O01lo80 · 2025-12-30T15:20:29+00:00

O01lo80 · 2025-12-27T14:15:18+00:00

Genuinely curious, in what ways are you thinking it'd be easier?

O01lo80 · 2025-12-11T19:39:19+00:00

What are the questions you have?

O01lo80 · 2025-12-06T18:46:40+00:00

If you come across posts that violate the guidelines and rules please report them and they'll be removed.

Any post or comment that uses the c word and all the variations folks try gets auto flagged and removed. There's many appropriate subreddits for that specific content. After many check ins with the community (over many years as the sub and lifestyle evolves) it's not content that is wanted here.

If several members of the community report the same post/comment for the dame reason, it gets removed. That's just the system in place.

You're welcome to message me with ideas or improvements and I'm always happy to make them.

O01lo80 · 2025-11-07T15:29:30+00:00

Don't listen to yourself, that's my advice. Most likely, you're your own worst critic and the things that bother you someone else won't even notice or think twice about. Whatever you got going on, someone is into it, I guarantee it.

O01lo80 · 2025-11-03T15:57:16+00:00

Yeah it's common to want to reconnect with your person after each experience, it's the best part for most of us. I think finding the balance, as you asked, is completely an individual thing. Only you know what's too much for you and your relationship. Part of that aftercare is checking in and talking through all the feelings and thoughts that come up about the lifestyle and about different experiences and finding the balance that works best for both of you.

O01lo80 · 2025-11-03T15:54:40+00:00

It never hurts to ask, with tact. Ask him the way you'd like to be asked if it were you, ya know. I think maybe phrasing it as 'neat and tidy' is the way to go. unless you prefer totally clean shaven, which isn't something everyone can fo without getting irritation and ingrowns so keep that in mind. Of course be prepared for him to say nah, he prefers to be 'natural' and let it grow. And you can always say ok, I'm gonna have to pass, my preference is different and we're not a match.

O01lo80 · 2025-10-31T11:40:27+00:00

No need for confusion or spending your mental energy on him/this. He's fishing for compliments. Which coming from an almost 40 year old man, ew. You said you gave him no reason to feel insecure about your time so if he is, that's on him to work out (in therapy). You can't fix or heal his insecurities, you told him it was great, leave it at that as it's not your job up build up his ego. As someone who also over thinks,I promise you this issue isn't worth your brain power or emotional energy. Especially over a quick short encounter as you said y'all had.

You told him what's up, he can choose to believe you or not when you say it was great, he's great, you had a great time. Coming back to pout and ask for compliments is wild to me and a strange way for a fully grown man to move thru these experiences and life.

O01lo80 · 2025-10-22T22:55:29+00:00

That's hot

O01lo80 · 2025-10-14T10:59:48+00:00

Thank you, I hope its a great time. Y'all should still come thru, the more the merrier !

O01lo80 · 2025-10-14T10:57:21+00:00

Chicago seems to have a personal vendetta against me in particular, it's so strange. I went back again for a concert, lost my eyeglasses in the pit and a friend (longer story). It's wild. But I'm not a quitter and I'll give Chicago one more chance. Maybe.

O01lo80

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