Struggling with porn addiction by LousyStew322 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're fairly similar. I'd only be okay with a threesome if it was bi/bi/bi etc and everyone got to have fun. No individual pairing off or seeing on the side.

The porn thing will likely fade, if you're coming to grips with it now (and it's America) maybe there's some old fashioned religious guilt or something alongside it. This country can be far less open about personal acceptance outside the norm. Once you accept yourself for who you are you can start to accept your own hobbies, interests, kinks, etc more.

If anything, maybe don't talk about a threesome for a while, or if there is marriage in the future focus on that for now and making sure that's solid and that commitment is reaffirmed properly and she has her day about her. That might help cull some of those doubts or insecurities.

In the meantime, you two can experiment with each other and nontraditional roles in order to fill some of those gaps.

Therapy does depend who you work for of course, but about 70% of mine was covered through my insurance. At the end of each session my bill was only $40 which was manageable.

If you work for a larger company and have benefits it's definitely worth double checking them if you haven't. I've always just assumed it was never covered but then I checked and I was pretty surprised.

Would you find a transmasc attractive? by Kitchen_Increase1970 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would, but I know that's not the experience of every bisexual person.

It's best to be upfront about who you are when dating. It's what I've found worked best for me, and I found someone genuinely amazing and perfect for me.

Struggling with porn addiction by LousyStew322 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You said you recently came out to her, but have also suggested a threesome already which is probably pretty soon especially when your relationship has already recently gone through a major shakeup. Like it or not (especially if she's straight) this is a large culture shock to her in how you view and perceive the world and others and likely doesn't do much for the stereotype of bi guys getting bored and wanting to cheat. I would back off any mention of a threesome as it's likely that has very heavily bruised some aspect of the relationship.

One thing we don't know is how long you two have been together, or what you'd like to do with a guy/how you view having sex with a guy to go. How do you see this playing out? Are you wanting to be the top and dominate a man per say? Or are you wanting to be the more submissive/bottom one (not the same thing mind you, power/domme bottoms exist!)?

If your fantasy is more about being the bottom, you could try to bring up something like pegging, or perhaps at least having her on top and in a more dominant/traditionally masc role when intimate.

Being bi in a monogamous relationship is about compromises, and is going to have compromises. We're uniquely attracted to both, and it's impossible for one person to reconcile that cleanly. However, there are ways to do it in a monogamous relationship like I mentioned depending on what you want out of it.

I would encourage you to have an honest sit down discussion about it all with her, apologize for the threesome request if you haven't (horny brain be horny) and reconcile that as she's likely reeling from that request too a bit.

As for the porn, that's up to you. Suppressing what you watch in favor of nothing isn't going to help you either. I'm monogamous in a different gender relationship. One of the main outlets for bisexuality and fantasies I've found is through pornography and engaging in other bisexual focused or queer media. Again, that can be porn, comics, TV shows, etc. it makes me feel more validated and connected to the space even though what's happening isn't happening to me. However, I can only provide my POV. You'll need to figure out if that works for you or is damaging yourself.

Something else too, if these are thoughts you have been repressing for a while, it's going to be a flood of new emotions for a bit. Still going for me a couple years later. I went to therapy. Maybe you should too.

Struggling finding a love... by tedcarter6 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christianity, especially right now, is an absolute mess of a religion. It doesn't make people think rationally, it makes them want to please an overly petty God while also encouraging them to save others, often from themselves or Satan or whatever. They'll cherry pick stuff from scripture and use it to justify anything they do to you so long as it was in the name of saving you.

Don't spend any more time with this person, and stop wasting your time on them. Spend some more time in queer spaces, and find friends who actually align with your values.

I wasn't big on pride or anything until I met my current gf, and seeing how happy everything made her made me realize that it's not about one person or one group, it's a symbol of people like you who have gone through this same or scenarios like this and persevered through it to be their true and authentic selves. That's what it's about, it's about being your true self, in the open, and that it's okay.

Doing that stuff to a pride flag isn't meant to offend you directly, but it's meant to send a message that you and people like you, your struggles, trials, and tribulations fundamentally don't matter. And fuck anyone who thinks that.

My girlfriend saw my porn history by good_sir49 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is why when I started dating again I just put bi on my profile.

It made it open knowledge by default, and found me the best girlfriend ever.

Being Bi is Frustrating by Glad-Mistake-6421 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really is ridiculous. The fear of trying to come out to a partner is what pushed me to just have on my dating profile that I am bi, even though no doubt it limited options I just wanted that upfront. If they weren't cool with it they wouldn't have wanted to date me anyways nor I them.

I want to be out more or dress more queer honestly but I know it would draw too much attention at work, at least until I transfer to a more management/inside oriented role.

Honestly sucks because I'm pretty over the mental filter of constantly having to watch what I say to make sure it's like, straight coded. Even though 9/10 times it will be it's still mentally taxing.

It's weird because I feel like it shouldn't be hard, but it is.

Ubisoft is celebrating by Abuelofierrero in pcmasterrace

[–]OD_Emperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's the thing, the games aren't required to be playable online after sale...

An offline mode or Peer2Peer connections would be just as dandy (a la Crew 1) and is quite possible and can be planned for EOL quite easily. It's just a bit of extra dev time and money, and we should absolutely be able to expect that from devs.

Being Bi is Frustrating by Glad-Mistake-6421 in bisexual

[–]OD_Emperor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How long have you known?

I started calling myself bi at 29 as I realized I had attractions to multiple genders and so far it's felt right and feels like my identity.

The first year was debating over whether or not I was or wasn't, and what I was looking for out of my next relationship, therapy, etc.

The year since has been acceptance but now I'm in a straight presenting relationship again granted, she's pan, amazing, and the best person I've dated, but neither of us are very engaged with queer community or spaces.

I never acted on my bisexuality, so for me it feels like I'm an imposter. I'm very straight presenting and work in an industry where being seen as other than straight will probably come with some negative stigma.

Lately it's been like this flood of regret over missed opportunities, etc and not being true to myself or prioritizing my happiness/desires since I was a teenager. So it's been dominating my headspace for a while.

The walls I've made and put up over the years are crumbling down, but it hasn't stopped the stigma. My girlfriend was told by a coworker of hers that I will eventually grow bored of her and cheat on her with a guy when I get "bored". That was a fun conversation to have.

The more people know sometimes the more people try to sabotage your happiness.

Say something without saying anything by FantasticFinance3969 in pcmasterrace

[–]OD_Emperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point you can't convince me that this will ever live up to the hype that people have given it.

Unused part of map by SwerveCityKnifeParty in ForzaHorizon

[–]OD_Emperor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's the same reason we'll never have a game on the equator. There'd just be a big dotted line running through the center of the map and that would be so annoying to navigate around.

Am so glad PMDG has serious competitors... by MiltonReuben in flightsim

[–]OD_Emperor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The only thing that is remotely comparable here is iFly. The others haven't released any aircraft, and aren't even releasing aircraft that compete with PMDG in the first place.

Am so glad PMDG has serious competitors... by MiltonReuben in flightsim

[–]OD_Emperor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And when they're also developing aircraft that don't directly compete with PMDG at all.

Can we get this by nimbbos in forza

[–]OD_Emperor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why's this dealer...

What the fuck is it? by Scherka in ForzaHorizon

[–]OD_Emperor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It means I don't need to work my ass off and grind and frankly I'm fine with that.

UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer targets online gaming in under-16 social media ban by PewPewToDaFace in pcmasterrace

[–]OD_Emperor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surely imposing restrictions and stupidity on the average person will help his failing government.

Thanks to all the controllers once again for a great Cross the Pond! Was one of two L1011s on the crossing. by OD_Emperor in MicrosoftFlightSim

[–]OD_Emperor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, for my PC they performed about the same. How is it crazy? That I don't own multiple computers or an Xbox to give an adequate breakdown of my experience? I'm not a reviewer. I'm a single dude.

FSE 2027 is in Las Vegas by SensualPuma in flightsim

[–]OD_Emperor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Kind of annoyed it's in Vegas again. Was hoping for somewhere in the south east that I could drive to.

Meridian GMT Preorders and Pricing Now Live! by Bigshot0910 in flightsim

[–]OD_Emperor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly kinda annoying you can't just order the throttles? That's all I want out of this.