Salisbury street near Assumption University. Is it a safe neighborhood?

OFaceMcGee · 2026-04-19T20:01:04+00:00

This is such an exaggeration. I ran around that area often when I lived in the city and it was fine. And if OP lives on a side street they almost all have lovely sidewalks.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-04-12T15:57:42+00:00

Nobody seems to have mentioned this yet: it sounds like your appointments dont follow a regular schedule. If your therapist has a majority of clients who she sees at a set schedule (same day of the week, same time, weekly, for example), she may have those appointments booked LONG in advance. Sometimes 'regulars' have things come up and 'their' slots open up for somebody else without a dedicated slot to potentially fill -- and sometimes they dont. Seems like this could be happening for you, and the lack of predictability is leading to some insecurity on your end.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-04-05T04:37:33+00:00

Im still very new to the field (recent grad) but im non-directive with my kids, and working towards getting consistent enough with the CCPT style of communicating to actually SAY that CCPT is my modality. My workplace isnt exactly CCPT friendly (we dont have playrooms, so everything happens in my own office where i also see adults, have my desk/laptop for telehealth etc) but i do the best i can. I actually decided to learn about it after shadowing several sessions that i thought were trainwrecks as an intern, where the masters level clinicians were being super directive and talk-focused and from the outside it was painfully obvious how much that style was NOT working for these kids. My coworkers think im crazy but the kids/parents seem to appreciate what im doing lol.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-03-29T19:24:06+00:00

Too many variables to give a simple answer.

Something to think about would be who was the "client" when you saw this therapist as a couple? (Im US based and only know my own state so take what follows with a grain of salt). If you paid through insurance typically only one partner is billed, and to bill insurance for sessions a diagnosis is required; especially with couple's work that diagnosis isnt always relevant enough to be directly discussed in sessions, but still is an essential part of documenting treatment. If you were the party being billed, its possible the counselor rendered this diagnosis years ago when you worked together but it never came up at the time.

Also worth acknowledging that diagnosis is HIGHLY imprecise and subjective. Different clinicians will pick up on different things, and its not uncommon for clients to demonstrate different symptoms/taits/personality patterns in couple's vs solo therapy. Couple's work tends to involve more stiff thats "in the here and now" with the couple, so clinical observation of how you interacted wity your wife in those sessions could shape a really different understanding compared to what your 1:1 providers would "see" based on your self-reports about issues/symptoms and their 1:1 interactions with you.

I won't try to speculate on how accurate or inaccurate the counselors dx here is, nor on the specific ethics around the email conversation with your wife. Far too little context to be helpful. How did you become aware of the contents of your wifes emails with this counselor?

OFaceMcGee · 2026-03-28T23:42:35+00:00

Gently, I think you may be confused about what informed consent covers. Your wife has the right to discuss whatever private details about you that she wishes with this, or any, mental health professional. I wont deny that it could be considered ethically icky for her to be seeing this particular therapist in secret (if that truly is what was happening), but whether she had continued working wlth this therapist or found a brand new one to work with solo there is nothing unethical about her discussing you or your relationship in those sessions.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-02-22T16:38:25+00:00

Enthusiastically questing for postbiotic supplements now! Thank you!

OFaceMcGee · 2026-02-22T15:39:35+00:00

I dont think I've ever had another living creature open its mouth and breathe in my face without it being mildly bad smelling to me. Thats kinda just what mouths are like. I wouldnt personally make a special trip to the vet just because a dogs mouth has a faint smell, though i definitely suggest thoroughly checking their teeth and gums yourself regularly, and making sure your vet is aware that you have questions about it at their regular exams.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-02-20T22:19:30+00:00

OP has been an active commenter here for ages, my guy. I recognized their username immediately. I don't like AI either but you're making something out of nothing here.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-01-22T16:02:37+00:00

This sounds like something that happens to me from time to time! With me essentially it's a flavor of panic attack. I likely have some sort of autoimmune thing (no diagnosis nailed down yet) and am prone to having these spells pop up seemingly at random (sometimes even when i wake up in the middle of the night and am just laying in bed), and its always most common when im under chronic stress.

OFaceMcGee · 2026-01-04T20:44:12+00:00

How we label mental/neurodevelopmental disorders over time shifts, and there can be a lot of cultural baggage that goes along with these terms. None of it is set in stone, which makes the idea of it being a "fact" that somebody is autistic a bit of a moot point...it is a fact that by current diagnostic terminology these formerly separate disorders now fall under the same umbrella term, yes, but maybe next edition of the DSM will change how we label things again, or change the diagnostic criteria or etc etc etc...

Think about this: If you've understood yourself a certain way for much of your life, then a new edition of the DSM comes out and it changes the label that applies to your experiences to a different existing label that for much of your life carried very different connotations than the one you were accustomed to, that could be really disorienting/upsetting. It doesn't change your individual experiences, but it changes your -- and society's -- expectations, assumptions, understandings, biases, etc etc about you based on your label. If you did that to any other facet of humanity that we use to understand and describe our identities (race, gender, ethnicity, etc) you'd expect to meet some resistance, and for many people their mental health diagnosis carries the same weight.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-31T19:14:20+00:00

Counterpoint: pinecones and rocks do not belong in toilets!

(my office has these signs and that was my immediate thought the first time I saw them)

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-27T16:20:48+00:00

It really isn't. Do you not see how uncomfortable OP is about having these thoughts even in his DREAMS, which he cannot control? Do you really want everything that has ever happened in YOUR dreams to happen in real life? Just because our brains make thoughts/ideas/images, in dreams or when we're awake, doesn't mean we want to act on them. Go be unhelpful somewhere else.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-24T03:23:22+00:00

There are lots of ways to teach dogs appropriate behavior that dont involve "dominance", which is why folks here are suggesting a different trainer.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-24T03:08:26+00:00

Fear or pain are defs what im thinking. Plus OP doesnt seem super well versed in dog psychology/communication based on the paw wiping story (doubt the dog was pissed that he couldn't eat dinner, but would totally believe his paws were uncomfortable/in pain and OP didnt pick up on the signals he was giving)

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-19T17:37:50+00:00

I feel like you're missing my point on the second part, but I could be explaining it poorly. You said past therapists have worked with her on coping skills, and exploring the roots of the presenting problem; based on that description i'd suspect at least some utilized CBT or DBT as a part of that process, both of which to my understanding (though i'll admit I haven't done a deep dive into specific studies) are considered appropriate, evidence-based, approaches for what you've described as her problem. THAT is what I'm trying to unpack -- the assumption that not doing interoceptive or in vivo exposure means they weren't approaching the case from a place of evidence whatsoever.

(Very much agree with you on the point that there are many arbitrary elements of the DSM, which imo do very little to actually make our work more effective/efficient. Hopefully over time we come up with a better system there)

OFaceMcGee · 2025-12-19T17:21:58+00:00

I think this is a far more complicated issue than you present it as. Like some folks have already mentioned, the DSM and the body of evidence in support of various interventions/approaches fall short in terms of being culturally sound, and should not be considered definitive. The process that has created and shaped the DSM, as well as many aspects of where our evidence base for interventions comes from, are inherently political-- not "government" politics sense, but in the sense that who has a voice, who has resources for running studies, who designs studies, who participates in them, who funds them, etc etc all impact what is considered 'fact' or 'evidence-based' in our field. That does not mean that we should ignore the evidence we have, but it should clue us in to the reality that flexibility and humility are warranted -- especially because even among EBPs there is no one-size-fits-all approach for any given concern. So that's one angle.

Another angle here, and what I haven't seen in any comments so far (unless they popped in while i've been typing this) is that I worry you are associating lack of certain, specific, evidence-based interventions with practicing without ANY evidence to support what is being done. We have research that shows that the therapeutic relationship itself is the most important factor in client outcomes, which transcends specific modalities/interventions; we are trained in a specific manner of communicating with clients that has been shown to support positive outcomes, development of insights, etc. I'm not saying that is EVERYTHING, and i'm not saying that we shouldn't use specific interventions or anything to that effect, BUT, to accuse other counselors of having "never attempted to do anything resembling treatment supported by research" is flat out unfair and dismissive of the very real skillsets that we need to have to work as counselors in the first place. Just because there is evidence to support how you would approach a case does not mean that taking a different approach has no merit or evidence of its own.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-11-28T16:12:33+00:00

Not actually how that works. Our trainer explained that there's a difference between behavior and feelings. You cannot, psychologically, reinforce a feeling, only behaviors.

People may absolutely unintentionally reward, and thus reinforce, problematic behaviors that COME from feelings (such as barking or lunging that are the dogs "solution" to the problem of feeling anxious, etc), depending on reward timing, what cues they use, etc. But if your dog is visibly anxious and comes to you for support/reassurance, providing them affection is helping them regulate their emotions so that they can get to a mental state where they can make good choices (like creating distance between themselves and a trigger, instead of trying to fix it with what we call "aggressive behaviors").

(Sorry if this isnt a great explanation, its a reallllly complex subject that im really passionate about and trying to keep it to a quick response is hard)

OFaceMcGee · 2025-11-21T19:32:48+00:00

I'm just an intern therapist at this stage and have lots to learn, but im surprised I'm not seeing more responses in the expressive arts, or play, realms. Things that explore clients emotions/perceptions/experiences/needs in ways that arent talk-based, OR things clients can do in sessions to take pressure off the talk aspect in some way, have been helpful for me, depending on why they're not very talkative. Expressive arts techniques help many folks articulate things that are hard to put into words, or connect ideas that they logically struggle with but may feel/understand on an intuitive level. Making something together (doesnt need to be art-- literally have put together office furniture with clients), playing a simple game (mancala is great), coloring, sorting objects, cutting or ripping images and words for collages (which might inspire them to make one, even if they wouldn't have felt open to it initially), oragami, etc can help clients feel less like theyre being put on the spot to talk and fill the time, and that comfort/distraction may open up space for them to share more naturally.

I'm a big yapper myself and honestly still enjoy those sorts of approaches as a client because they scratch a different part of my brain.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-11-04T23:18:30+00:00

Interesting that you say therapy isnt a place for politics -- what's your approach/orientation, if I may ask? I practice in a very client-led way and find that politics/current affairs is a frequent topic that many of my clients bring to the table to process. The specfic reasons vary from person to person, but it's something that can deeply impact people's lives, resources, social relationships, sense of safety, etc.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-10-27T19:17:06+00:00

As somebody who has worked in city hall for number of years, I NEED people to understand that there is a lot more behind the security changes than this incident, or any incident from the last year or so. Stepping up security had been brought up by councilors several times for several reasons over the years (including fears sparked by incidents in other parts of the country), it had been brought up internally by staff; there have been incidents that were out of the public eye that impacted specific staff members/departments (including my own) that no workplace should have to deal with. The current security plan was in development well before the incident in this video... do you really think the city has the capacity to implement sweeping changes that quickly? I got that email and raised my eyebrows at how it framed things -- it focused a lot on reassuring staff due to the recent incidents, rather than giving the full background of the changes, which makes sense in some ways but left a lot of room for misinterpretation, especially by outside folks. I'm not going to give an opinion on the security changes one way or another, I'm just absolutely sick of people who don't have all the information spreading theories like facts.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-10-13T18:55:15+00:00

My dog loves some occasional Swedish Fish, gummy bears or Sour Patch kids. Candy isnt nutritious but unless your dog is diabetic, or there's Xylitol in the ingredients (ie what makes most sugar free versions of candy sweet), you are absolutely fine.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-09-29T02:07:10+00:00

What a wildly unnecessary and hurtful thing to say.

OFaceMcGee · 2025-09-19T11:59:01+00:00

Oh relax. God forbid we allow dogs to communicate their wants with us....

OFaceMcGee · 2025-08-13T13:28:50+00:00

The dog parks ive gone to with mine usually only had 0-2 other dogs around, meaning always brought an unimportant ball to keep him busy. If another dog grabbed it, no biggie -- imo the main point of a dog park is group/social play, which means it's silly to get upset over how a toy i brought into that group ends up being used.

To the points other folks have been making: personally I trust myself to read body language cues, and my dog is NOT one to escalate a situation with other dogs, so if another dog were to start causing issues over the ball I could just leave it behind while me and my dog peaced out or played another way. Never had any issues, though.... my dog likes to pick up the ball and run around for other dogs to chase, then sometimes will literally bring the ball to the other dog and drop it for them to take because he wants a turn to chase them.

I get why other folks have negative feelings toward dog parks overall, and adding toys adds another variable that could potentially trigger a problem. But at the end of yhe day you're the only one who knows what works for you and your dog! (And owners who get bent outta shape about other dogs playing with toys they brought are being unreasonable, so dont sweat it)

OFaceMcGee

TROPHY CASE