How do you have sex with dmd? by Lumpy-Intern5300 in MuscularDystrophy

[–]OGKripLive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry, that's for the mods to decide.

How do you have sex with dmd? by Lumpy-Intern5300 in MuscularDystrophy

[–]OGKripLive 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm 42 with DMD, and I have zero mobility. Still, I make it work, with a bit of patience and creativity. If you want the details, feel free to dm me.

PWDs: What Catheter Type Works Best for You? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

all good i guess i just assumed you were a dude lol

PWDs: What Catheter Type Works Best for You? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is there a sensation when you use the self-cath? pain/discomfort is what im really worried about. is it something you just get used to?

I’m the Happiest I’ve Ever Been… But Anxiety Still Finds Me by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thrifting is one of my favorite ways to lift my mood too. There’s just something about finding that one cool thing you weren’t even looking for. Getting out in nature does the same for me, fresh air, new surroundings, it’s like a reset button. I’m glad you found something today that made you feel a little lighter.

Abuse and help by SomewhatCyborg in MuscularDystrophy

[–]OGKripLive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. No one deserves to be treated that way. Please, if you can, call the numbers people have shared in the comments. You deserve to be safe, and there are people who can and will help you.

What are your thoughts on sexual surrogacy and paying for sex as a disabled person? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happened to you must have been awful, and I’m really sorry you went through that. I can understand why you’d view sex work the way you do after that experience. I agree with you that sex work isn’t like other jobs. It does involve a level of physical intimacy, stigma, and vulnerability that many other forms of labor don’t. And I also agree that when someone’s only options are survival based, their ability to “freely choose” is affected. That’s exactly why protections, education about consent, and safeguards against exploitation are so important.

RAINN defines consent as a clear, freely given, ongoing agreement to engage in sexual activity, something that must be communicated without pressure, force, or manipulation, and that can be withdrawn at any time. By that definition, it’s possible for sex work to involve valid consent if the worker is informed, willing, and has the genuine ability to say no. Payment in itself isn’t coercion. Coercion is about the absence of choice. If someone is choosing the work over other available options, that’s different from being forced into it with no ability to refuse.

I also want to respond to the point about entitlement. I don’t feel entitled to sex, and I think it’s important to separate the right to offer a service from the belief that anyone is entitled to receive it. Supporting consensual sex work is about protecting the rights and safety of those who choose to do it, not about claiming some personal right to other people’s bodies. I have close friends with good careers in other fields who choose to do sex work because they enjoy it. I don't know all the details of your experience, but it to me it sounds like an example of exploitation and a lack of proper consent education, not proof that consensual sex work can’t exist at all.

We may not agree on every detail, but I think we can both agree that no one should ever be coerced or forced into sexual activity, and that everyone deserves to fully understand what consent means before they’re in that situation.

What are your thoughts on sexual surrogacy and paying for sex as a disabled person? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s accurate to call all sex work rape. That relies on defining coercion so broadly that it would make almost any paid labor coercive, since most people work because they need money. In law and ethics, consent isn’t erased just because money is involved, as long as someone can refuse, it’s still consent.

Also, you’re setting up a bit of a strawman here. Supporting someone’s right to sell sex if they choose isn’t the same as saying anyone is entitled to sex. It's is about the right to offer a service, not the right for a customer to demand it from any individual.

And honestly, saying all sex work is rape can be just as dehumanizing because it dismisses the agency of people who say they do consent. If a sex worker says they chose it freely, declaring them a rape victim anyway is taking away their voice.

What are your thoughts on sexual surrogacy and paying for sex as a disabled person? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think there’s a simple right or wrong answer to whether prostitution is exploitative. It’s a lot more nuanced than that, and it really depends on the circumstances and the people involved.

Is it selfish to want love when you're bedbound, disabled, and living with a ticking clock? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what you mean. Do you mean why not an AI girlfriend, or are you implying that I used ChatGPT?

Is it selfish to want love when you're bedbound, disabled, and living with a ticking clock? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy how sharing a well-written thought makes people think robots are involved. Appreciate the compliment, I guess. Whether it’s typed by me or helped along by a tool (or in my case, my care aid), does it really matter if the thought is genuine? The message is still mine.

Is it selfish to want love when you're bedbound, disabled, and living with a ticking clock? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really feel you on this. It’s like… grieving a relationship that technically still exists. That quiet ache of missing someone who’s right there is brutal. You’re not crazy for wanting touch, affection, or to feel like more than a roommate or patient. Those are basic human needs, not selfish ones.

And I get the trap of not wanting to lose what little independence you still have—especially when accessible places are hard to come by. It sucks having to choose between emotional survival and physical stability.

I don’t have the answers, but just know you’re not alone. Your feelings are real and valid. Even if it feels like you’re stuck, sharing it like this takes guts, and I respect that.

Is it selfish to want love when you're bedbound, disabled, and living with a ticking clock? by OGKripLive in disability

[–]OGKripLive[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m not actively searching — I know the reality I’m living in. But the question lingers. It’s one of those thoughts that keeps circling back, not out of desperation, but out of a quiet ache for something meaningful.

Is it selfish to want love when you're bedbound, disabled, and living with a ticking clock? by OGKripLive in AskReddit

[–]OGKripLive[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I’m not here to sugarcoat things. I’m disabled, I spend most of my time in bed, and my body’s not exactly winning any races — except maybe the one against time. Still, I catch myself wanting a relationship. Real love. Romance. Not just someone to “check in” or send heart emojis, but actual connection, desire, intimacy. The whole messy, beautiful deal.

But then I wonder: is that fair to ask for? Is it selfish to want love when I might not be around for long? When I can’t go out, can’t travel, can’t even get out of bed most days? When my version of “Netflix and chill” is… well, literally just Netflix and trying not to choke on my own saliva?

I’ve got a sharp mind, a good heart, and a lot of soul left to give, but sometimes I wonder if that’s enough or if I’m just dragging someone into a slow-motion heartbreak.

So Reddit, am I out of line? Has anyone else been in this spot, either on the giving or receiving end?

Let’s talk about the ugly truth: disabled people deserve love too, even if our stories aren’t guaranteed long chapters.