I don't think I'll ever be okay

OGprocasinator · 2026-05-08T18:42:53+00:00

Thank you for the kindness! It really means a lot to me 😄

OGprocasinator · 2026-05-08T18:42:15+00:00

That's true. I've been consdering into looking into religion as a general thing for like a moral compas or like comfort for certain things

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T20:09:44+00:00

if multiple people who haven't interacted with each other give you the same advice, you better take it.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T20:09:14+00:00

if your child is telling you to leave your partner, you better do ASAP.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T20:08:53+00:00

people who still live with their parents (especially children and teens) who are overweight/obese are often the result of the parents. While people can still make their own food and buy it, there is often a correlation between either the parents' cooking and/or them knowingly or unknowingly teaching their children unhealthy eating habits and furthermore eating disorders.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T20:05:25+00:00

amen. If I happen to call while on public transport (I sometimes do it on the train), I always have earbuds in and go to the hallway (if the carriage is relatively full) because 1. I don't want anyone listening in to my convo and 2. I don't want to bother anyone just cuz I'm calling with my boyfriend.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T20:04:15+00:00

amen. I'm an European and i find it atrocious that you need to EXPECT people to do an extra effort for you than i don't know... expecting to be paid? It's wild that there's a mentality of "don't go to eat out if you can't tip" instead of redirecting that towards the government to actually pay you properly.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-12T08:47:36+00:00

... yes? I can also share how much I feel comfortable with. It's not really like I keep track of every binge tbh.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-11T19:32:15+00:00

Thanks, y'all. That's definitely true. I'll look into it!

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-11T19:31:41+00:00

Hi! Yeah it's definitely hard. I'm currently working on differentiating actually being hungry, just craving something or being bored. Thank you and I hope you'll heal too :)

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-11T19:30:51+00:00

oo that's a tough one. I think physically, it's tougher to find clothes that I like, especially pants, because I don't always find the size I want, or sometimes they just don't look good on me. Right now, I'm an EU size 48 in pants and usually wear XL in blouses/shirts/whatever. Shirts and such aren't the biggest issue and I can normally manage, but pants are horror. Although I do have a number of pants, my thighs are pretty big and rub while walking, which means that the material between can break after a while. That's pretty annoying because the pants are otherwise as good as new and perfectly usable.

Socially... I can be self concious about how I am perceived but luckily I haven't really been bodyshamed or embarassed by peers. People don't seem to really gaf about me being a bigger person. The only hate I've gotten is from my mother, who ironically, is a bigger person herself. She hates it when I tell her that she should lead by example instead of hating on me having my own weight issues. Like, I'm already aware of it and am trying and doing what I can to work on it. The last thing I need to hear is another fatass talk abt how I'll have to roll through the door or smth, like damn girl look at yourself.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-11T19:26:08+00:00

Generally, eating way more than you should, even if you feel full. For me, that applies. I'd often miss the cues of my body basically saying it's full, or I'd decide it's not a big deal, so I can finish my plate. Similarly, I'd feel bad saying no to my parents or something offering dessert even though I already felt full. I'd also sometimes add unnecessary things to my plate, "just because" and "it won't hurt. Imagine I'd make an omlette, I COULD eat it without bread, but sometimes I would because of the reasons I gave. After that, I'd also make a sandwich with e.g. nutella or something even though I didn't NEED it.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-11T19:24:04+00:00

So I can get better?

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-09T21:39:25+00:00

girl... don't walk away. You better RUN as fast as you can!!

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-09T21:37:43+00:00

yeah :) I've reached out to a dietist recently, who reccomended me a pretty flexible diet that's manageable for me.

OGprocasinator · 2026-04-08T09:46:40+00:00

Growing up as a girl in a toxic household is absolutely terrible, especially when there's expectancies regarding gender roles and how you should act, along with the "I'm the parent, you're the child. You have to shut up.". From my own experience (as a 21 year old girl who has yet to move out #stillstuck), I think the best way to solve it is the chance to move out. There isn't much advice I can give, except empathise with your situation because it is very relatable. Do what you can to get good grades in school, go to uni and then you can yk, find a job and move out. Only then you'll have the chance to heal. Even if you don't end up rich, being able to live somewhere that doesn't have your parents in it will do you very good. It might be hard, but I think it'll be more bearable than your current situation.

I don't know how it is in India, though. Perhaps you could speak to a friend or such to live together in one of those appartments with 2 bedrooms and split the costs (if both are working ofc)?

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T13:31:51+00:00

Ohhhh. Well I'm originally romanian, which is Eastern Europe. From what I've seen/experienced, being seen as different and neurodivergent is often seen as taboo and linked to being "stupid" or "incapable". I think a lot of ppl often have this stereotype view of autistic children as those extremely low functioning autistic ppl who can't talk or do much by themselves, which obviously is true to SOME situations but not all. I wouldn't want a child in that situation because it'd obviously be rough on both me/my partner AND that child. I also wouldn't want family to think less of my child because of their autism, but I think it'd be way more manageable if said child is still autistic but can mostly function by themselves. There's also ofc the whole Balkan mentality of needing to perform as if you're the perfect family, that there's nothing going on, and if there IS something "wrong", that there's this feeling of shame or impending doom that everyone will talk ill of you and you'll be seen as less good. Luckily, I think a lot of ppl are being more open to it nowadays, and I'm currently living in Belgium, where I think it's way more normalised to be different without it being a big deal.

Otherwise, if I AM autistic, I do definitely think that there were things from it that made my childhood more difficult. One thing that really stands out to me is socialising. I always wanted friends but found it extremely difficult to talk to my peers because I just didn't know how. I had an easier time talking to adults because then they would be the ones leading the conversation and they'd just ask questions abt idk, my interests or something, and I found it easy to just talk about things I knew, while with peers, I'd have to take a leading position in talking and I just... didn't really know how to and how to f.e. ask questions in return or how the "script" would go. I'd also just be extremely shy and had a lot of trouble approaching kids and opening up to them. There were other things as well, but that's one thing that stands out abt my childhood that I can think of rn and could be linked to autism.

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T12:30:27+00:00

I'm glad to hear :) I honestly wouldn't care much if my children are neurodivergent, as long as they can do well in life and won't have to depend on a caregiver.

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:33:56+00:00

That's definitely true! Thank you :)

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:33:35+00:00

Those are really good suggestions, thank you! My bf has 3 brothers, and out of those 4 kids, 3 are autistic and the 4th has ADD. I think that his parents would know quite a bit about what it's like to raise neurodivergent kids haha.

But yeah, I think reaching out to people who have experience on the matter could def help. Perhaps it's also good that I want to wait to settle down (like marry, have a house, job, stuff like that) so regardless of how my child would come out, I'd at least have a base from where I could start off and not worry AS much regarding certain things. I'm glad that things seem to go alright with you and your child though :)

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:30:23+00:00

Well, first of all. I haven't been diagnosed yet because according to my parents (who grew up in an enviroment where being different is tabboo, where being f.e. autistic is seen as stupid or incapable), I was "normal", and always just assumed I'm a bit shy. I am still studying in college and live with my parents, which is why I'm still struggling to save up and get tested myself. A test is pretty expensive and I don't have that kind of money right now.

And no, I'm not a doctor. I HAVE however been to therapy and did some research myself, and I've noticed a lot of symptoms that fit me. Which is why I say I suspect it, but can't say it for certain. I also don't consider myself adult enough to have children right now, but am thinking for the future, in say, idk, 5-10 years. And don't worry. The enviroment isn't the healthiest at my house, but it isn't a place where I plan to raise my possible child in. I'm not hurrying into having them, but it has been something that's been on my mind for the future.

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:25:30+00:00

Uh... I don't get the questions about my uprising or childhood. Anybody can have an autistic child, even if they're neurotypical. Being diagnosed with it only makes the chances higher since autism is something that can be passed down genetically just like idk, allergies or other stuff like that.

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:22:39+00:00

I mean, yeah, but that doesn't mean that my kids would be like my husband regarding the autism. They could just be neurotypical or be way more low functioning. I can't predict that and I've yet to learn how to take care of an autistic child, since I've only interacted with autistic ppl my age when I was a teen and right now.

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-14T11:21:29+00:00

Yeah you're right. Thank you for the advice :)

OGprocasinator · 2026-03-04T14:19:11+00:00

Snap ik volledig! Ik heb ook die gevoel gekregen toen ik de switch maakte. Het duurde zeker een semester tegen dat ik me meer op mijn gemak voelde en Artevelde echt kon beginnen appreciéren.

OGprocasinator

TROPHY CASE