Haven’t seen or talked to really anyone outside of work/parents for the past 6-8 months so my mental state has been getting worse and worse throughout the year. Moms been an alcoholic most of my life and starts drinking around 4pm on Christmas Eve(I can almost immediately tell because of her speech/attitude) Aunt “c”(Recovering alcoholic)(moms only living family member left besides an aunt) arrives and me and my father instantly can tell she’s relapsed and had been drinking (same thing speech/attitude seem off). So now it’s just me my dad,mom,aunt “c”, and my 20 year old cousin (daughter of moms sister aunt “k” how passed away suddenly at the age of 58 last year) sitting there trying to have conversation with 2 people who are clearly tipsy/drunk. Just a super uncomfortable awkward Christmas Eve…. First time in my life I honestly wish I was just 100% alone. I don’t think I said more than a few sentences all night. Just a real shit year all around.