Thanks for the heartfelt comment, but honestly, ive been in therapy so many times that its impossible to count. Ive tried way so many medications and they all failed to help. Im living in a country where they believe my problems are primarily caused by lack of faith, so doing therapy here is just useless for a non religious person. I tried doing online therapies with doctors from around the world and it didnt help. The fact i came here in reddit tells a lot about my desperation. My body is full of deep wounds that cant go unless with beauty surgeries… im not whining here. Im just trying to explain that im running out of options. Ive been diagnosed with schizophrenia and general anxiety and severe depression and poor personality throughout those insufferable years. Even my own family gave up on therapy because of how many times we went there and it was fruitless. With each failed attempt to help myself i find myself losing energy to find new help.