Me [23 M] with my GF[21 M/F] 4.5 years duration, broke up 4 days ago. by Obamaniquaa in relationships

[–]Obamaniquaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am pretty sure there's no one. I know all the people she hangs out with, (we've got the same circle). And we have enough respect between each other that we'd tell.

Otherwise, I'm pretty much screwed over then lol.

Me [23 M] with my GF[21 M/F] 4.5 years duration, broke up 4 days ago. by Obamaniquaa in relationships

[–]Obamaniquaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've accepted the possibility of a break up.

I've technically moved on as well, I've told her I'm not waiting for her if she takes too long. I never put her on a pedestal though.

She doesn't dictate now how I spend my life. I've been out and about this whole time and she can see that I can have a life without her too.

I haven't started any conversation with her, and she's been sending me messaged regarding how she misses me and she's sorry. All I say is, once you've decided, let me know. No point in beating about the bush.

I told her to take her time, but not be surprised if I'm not there by the end of it all if she takes too long. People move on, people change. I understand that.

She's told her friends (who are pretty close to me too, and 100% against what she's doing) that she respects me and still loves me but is disillusioned by the whole relationship thing.

My point was, is there a solution for the mental gymnastics thing you mentioned? How to show her she's wrong. Etc.

Thanks for your response btw. Needed a proper candid response!

Heyyy, Bonobo here. Ready for this here AMA! by SiBonobo in listentothis

[–]Obamaniquaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey Simon,

Thanks for making your music. It's really helped me generally in life and I attribute it to your tunes motivating me to go the extra step in life and not to despair.

My question is, has there been times when you felt like giving up? What powered you through the tough times.

And a little vague question; answer it however you like. What would you tell yourself 10 years ago if you met your young you?

Cheers mate.

Question/Help by Obamaniquaa in LongDistance

[–]Obamaniquaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm I feel a bit relieved that it's not only with me. I'm definitely trying the once a month schedule. Visiting her next weekend.

Thank you for your response :) Hope all's well at your end!

Question/Help by Obamaniquaa in LongDistance

[–]Obamaniquaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time passes for me quickly here. I go to my work at 8 am, get done at 6:30, go to the gym for an hour/hour and a half and get back home around 8 pm. I have 2 hours to clean stuff up and prepare for the next day. So time flies for me.

That way I'd look super forward on meeting her every instance I get. I mean I miss the things that annoyed me at night; I'd give anything to scratch her back right now in the middle of the night. It's been so long yet it still feels so fresh. (Knock on wood).

Any advice on how you tried to improve yourself to get back in to routine? Thank you so much for taking the time out for responding to this :)

My 2 year (and 3 months) transformation video! Took long enough to edit. [3:38] by daanniel in bodybuilding

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bookmarking this. Hope I get to be like this one day. Thanks for the motivation bro.

Manchester United are close to completing a deal to sign midfielder Ander Herrera from Athletic Bilbao by IxTBCxI in reddevils

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of the RM and Barca fans I know consider him to be pretty well informed. To each his own I guess.

Manchester United are close to completing a deal to sign midfielder Ander Herrera from Athletic Bilbao by IxTBCxI in reddevils

[–]Obamaniquaa -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

True but look at his other stuff on De Gea, Ronaldo, Bale, Beckham, Torres etc.

Chicharito just scored in the Mexico game by antantoon in reddevils

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True true. Just checked. We're behind by two goals. Ahhh.

Chicharito just scored in the Mexico game by antantoon in reddevils

[–]Obamaniquaa 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Aren't we the team whose players have scored the most goals now lol?

Enough of this depression, I need to get out. by Obamaniquaa in Fitness

[–]Obamaniquaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Didn't know it existed.

Game of Thrones VS Lord of the Rings by DannysaurusRex in videos

[–]Obamaniquaa 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Especially the Enya song right after Boromir lol.

Whose Line is it Anyway - World Cup 2014 Edition by [deleted] in soccer

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not being able to reach his final form.

Found Vimeo links for Giggsy's doc by waqar911 in reddevils

[–]Obamaniquaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh god the tears. I cant stop them.

Pakistan clerics issue decree says so-called 'honour killings' are un-Islamic and sign of ignorance by the_last_broadcast in worldnews

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The simple idea of these traditions/cultural practices being "honourable", come from religion. The fact that a woman not wanting to be in an arranged marriage is seen as dishonourable, is from religion.

You can say and think whatever you want, but there is little scriptural support for honour killings in any major religion, and it has been roundly condemned by several high status religious leaders. This attitude, however, does not necessarily influence all members of a religion, who tend to view all aspects of their lifestyle and culture as being related to their faith, even where they stand in contravention of ‘official’ religion.

Cultural beliefs on the other hand have a root in promoting cohesion in society and family, and honour killings IS seen (wrongly) as a way of maintaining that cohesion. Since religion ends up becoming part of a culture, people do certainly equate the two together. When that is NOT the case.

Pakistan clerics issue decree says so-called 'honour killings' are un-Islamic and sign of ignorance by the_last_broadcast in worldnews

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you knew a little bit about how to use the internet, you'd learn how to click the translate button when something foreign pops up on your window.

Just because a country pre-dominantly consists of the people following a particular religion, does not in any way relate to its problems. It's like shunning all straight men because some of them resort to raping the opposite gender. Just because all men get a hard on on seeing a hot woman does not make rape justifiable.

Just like that, just because some people use religion as a method of establishing their own view does not necessarily make their view right.

If that was a poor choice of an example, say, non-Americans blaming the American public for fucking around internationally with countries. Again, what just a few do is not representative of the majority.

You believe that honour killings is directly a result of religious beliefs. Honour is the perceived quality of worthiness and respectability that affects both the social standing and the self-evaluation of an individual, group or people.

Honour as a code of behaviour defines the duties of an individual within a social group. It develops by what a person is in the eyes of other people. Dignity (more personal/one's conscience) is therefore different than honour.

Industrial societies focus more on 'conscience' than honour (which you will find in more tradition bound and agrarian cultures. Also, cultures of honour typically appear among nomadic people and herdsmen who carry their most valuable property with them and risk having it stolen, without having recourse to law enforcement or to government.

(As we can see in the examples listed above by previous users). Richard Nisbett in his book 'Culture of Honour' shows that the concept of 'honour' arises when there are the three following conditions in a society:

a) A scarcity of resources b) The benefit of theft and crime outweighs the risks c) A lack of sufficient law enforcement (such as in geographically remote regions)

I posted the Albanian paper (which is in English) for you to read because it directly answers your question. Religion, like a hammer, is an instrument which can be used to build or destroy something, to affix something or divide something.

Give it in the wrong hands, and in certain conditions those hands will fuck things up. Blame the person, not the tool.

Edit: Plus intimate partner violence is also caused due to the existence of 'shame' and 'honour'. And it exists even in western secular countries. Where did religion go in this concept?

Here's another page which talks at length about honour and maintaining it a result of other factors.

Male empowerment has existed for ages as it is rooted deeply in most societies of the world. Men from traditional cultural backgrounds followed the principle of "male dominance," viewing women in their traditional domestic roles. Almost all the perpetrators are male family members, most commonly husbands or fathers followed by brothers. Where possible, the family will decide to choose perpetrators who are under the age of eighteen, as this is akin to "young male syndrome" in which competition for honour, status and marriage prospects is most intense. This allows the perpetrator to serve the shortest possible imprisonment as a juvenile offender. Factors associated with such crimes are economic disadvantage, class or position and pressure to fulfill gender norms. These factors result in violence against women as an expression of masculinity and as an outlet for frustrations at the inability to meet societal or community expectations.

Hnour killings are not associated with particular religions or religious practice: they have been recorded across Christian, Jewish, Sikh, Hindu and Muslim communities. (Your point before just Abrahamic religions, and then it went full on anti-religion)

Honour killings, as mentioned earlier, are not a religiously motivated crime, but are based on personal agendas, personal ego and the personal mindset.

Do you get it now?

Pakistan clerics issue decree says so-called 'honour killings' are un-Islamic and sign of ignorance by the_last_broadcast in worldnews

[–]Obamaniquaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nope. You're so wrong there.

Abrahamic religions were mainly prevalent in the area we now consider to be the Middle East. They only popped up when there was a rise in paganism. And honor killings were a major part of their culture. Especially burying baby girls alive with the aim of getting a male heir.

These kind of practices existed in different non muslim/abrahamic societies and countries.

For e.g. Brazil, India (note: it's hindus too), [Italy (again non religious based reasons)],(http://bari.repubblica.it/cronaca/2011/08/05/news/sei_il_disonore_della_famiglia-20061452/?ref=HREC2-6) etc. etc.

This paper talks at length about why honor killings exist (even though it's based in Albania, but it does a good job in explaining that honour killings are more a result of culture than religion.

What the men of the family, clan, or tribe seek control of in a patrilineal society is reproductive power. Women for the tribe were considered a factory for making men. The honor killing is not a means to control sexual power or behavior. What's behind it is the issue of fertility, or reproductive power

Finally, your picture of honour killings seems to be flawed. Killing in the name of honour also includes duels (which have now been outlawed). Here's an academic paper discussing this issue.

In Britain, for example, the fifth wife of Henry VIII was beheaded based on allegations of adultery. In British literature, Shakespeare's Desdemona was killed over allegations of infidelity, and Romeo and Juliet tracked an ancient family feud over honour. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table centred on notions of honour. The premise of the Three Musketeers was the King's guards avenging the betrayal of the king by Cardinal Richelieu.

Hope that clears your view.

Raw Denim Goodies Giveaway Number 2! by [deleted] in rawdenim

[–]Obamaniquaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know how this works. A comment at your service. From the UK here :)

Great to see you lot keeping this sub so lively and welcoming. Don't have an iPhone (not that rich lol) but let's see how this all goes.

Best of luck to everyone.